Most everyone here calls it the "M problem" or similar. Personally, I call it "masturbation," but that's just me. And I never refer to it as a "problem."

Anyway, guys are always trying and trying not to do it and go the the MP and confess, then try not to do it, maybe get caught, go to the MP and confess, and so on. What about the wimmens? Is it just supposed that they are not doing this? Are there instances in which the female missionaries confess to the Old Man?

I have a masturbation problem. I'm always masturbating when I really want to be with a real live girl.

Just be grateful it's not like Ted's drinking problem in Airplane! ;)

I work for one of the church's universities in a capacity that puts me in regular contact with pre and post missionaries who are having emotional problems. Women do masturbate on and off their missions and they are disclosing that more frequently than in the past. That said, it's painful to hear these young people express such disproportionate guilt, anguish, and self-loathing. The guilt and self-loathing paralizes them emotionally and socially. Neither does it help when they have to go back to their Bishop again and again to confess. We put them in groups for their masturbation problem or refer them to LDS Family Services ARP program. Both groups heap more shame on them.

Disproportionate guilt? Exactly how much guilt is 'proportionate' for a young woman or a young man that express their human sexuality through (among other avenues) masturbation. Shouldn't the church be applauding the fact that these young adults are sexually healthy, and able to express their god-given human-ness in such a beautiful manner?

Masturbation problem? How the hell is masturbating a 'problem'?

Painful to hear these people? How is it ANY of your business?

(Gee, wonder why so many young mormon teenagers and twenty-somethings have so many sexual hangups, both before and after marriage.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 02:12AM by schlock.

Wonder why...

I think you need to take a breath and re-read that post. Your response doesn't make sense to me..

And I could be overreaching / overreacting.

But.

The tone of the post, as I read it, was this: "Masturbation is wrong, and it makes LDS kids feel too guilty, when it's just a minor offense. The church makes too big of a deal about it, and should relax."

I tried (a bit too stridently, I suppose) to make the point that masturbation is not unhealthy or wrong. Just the opposite. It's healthy, and right, and (god forbid) should be celebrated as a natural expression of one's human sexuality.

I'll breath now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 11:28AM by schlock.

I think what anon666 was saying is that it's difficult for her to deal with the artificial anguish these women put themselves through for no good reason. She said having to send them back to the bishop or to LDS family services only heaps more shame on the women.

Sounds like a dreadful job..

I actually had that same reaction to the wording. Maybe that's not how the OP meant it. I wasn't sure so I didn't say anything. It seemed (to me) like they were saying that masturbation was a problem/sin, just not a HUGE one.

I wasn't a missionary, but I confessed to my bishop that I masturbated when he asked about the law of chastity during a temple recommend interview. I am brutally honest, and that is both a virtue and a flaw, depending on the situation, but I just felt bad not disclosing it. He was wide-eyed and shocked that a girl said that, I think, but he was so embarrassed that he basically didn't say anything and sputtered out that I should refer to church teachings on this matter and that it was good I confessed and I should pray about it.

I confessed to the men who thought they were in charge of me at the MTC and I innocently thought they had some kind of authority and could absolve me of my sins and therefore my self-loathing.

Not true of course.

I can't believe I fell for that b#^#s#$%^.

Not sure if the anger ever really goes away. That was early 90s. Still pi$$ed off.

Good Mormon girls don't have those self abuse problems. Get your mind out of the gutter. It's just those horny boys, dreaming of the harem they'll have in the CK, who can't keep their hands off themselves.

Sorry. I'm so ashamed.

I think most women are human too! My ex used to tell me stuff. Hilarious. Almost fell off the bunk bed hitching a ride on the bed post

I Had Wet Dreams As A Boy And Interpreted It As MasterBation, How Was I Supposed To Know What It WaS? Being 12 Years Old When The Old Codger Ask Me Do You Master Bait. Long Story Of Worrying Made Short, I CoNfessed These Dreams How Humiliating. Mormon Priesthood Leaders Called Of God? BullShit, I Have Had SEriuos Problems Forgiving My Wife For Premarital Sex, Made Marriage HeLl. So The Mormon Sex Teachings Have Made Me Bitter Wish I Would Of Slept With All My High School GirlFRiends Dammit!

This may sound a little unbelievable in this day and age but the first time I ever heard the word pornography I was a 16 year old kid in priest quorum. I didn't know what the heck it was and figured it must be some kind of a fancy camera or something. The topic of masterbation was also discussed in this lesson and I was once again really confused about this. I remember looking up these words in the dictionary trying to figure it all out. Admittedly I was a late bloomer.

In another strange twist of fate the teacher of this lesson turned out to be a adulterer and a womanizer.

That is not a strange twist of fate. That is the most predictable twist of fate on the planet. Or that the local evangelical homophobic megachurch preacher hired a gay prostitute or six to snort coke off of. Also predictably fated.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 02:11AM by woodsmoke.

+1 LOL!

Bah, you kids these days with your iPods and whatnots, back in my day we had to listen to our music by cranking up the pornograph!

Wait, what? ;)

Is just as turned on (by boys and girls) as am I, maybe moreso.

She often makes love to herself.

And her libido easily matches mine (sometimes exceeds).

And she loves porn.

And she has many friends with similar proclivities.

Why society wants to paint women as less sexual than men baffles me, the evidence (at least anecdotally) certainly doesn't bear this out.





I hate how society pre-judges, with the expectation that we should all fit into our prescribed boxes of given dimensions. I wish we could be more open to others (myself included), with less pre-judgments.

Personally, I believe a big portion of racism, sexism, homophobia, jingoism, has, as a root cause, the prescribing of attributes and behaviors in others before actually having any hard data.

I think this tendency may be human nature, and may even be some type of a survival mechanism (the ability to predict behavior in other humans, other animals, and even our physical surroundings in general). Having the ability to predict, quickly, may have been the difference between life & death. But unfortunately today, in our complex, integrated, interwoven society, this ability tends to not serve us nearly as well as it may have 10,000 years ago. Let's hear it for the Myers-Briggs P's! (And I'm a J, go figure.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 11:10AM by schlock.

In my personal experience, my libido is pretty evenly matched with my husband's (and previously boyfriends')...except for when I'm pregnant or nursing, then it drops to about a tenth. It seems to be a fairly common occurrence among people of my aquaintence. This attitude may be a layover from when wome spent most of their sexual lives pregnant of nursing. It also doesn't help if you don't get to pick your own partners based on love and desire, but are rather sold off by your father to the highest bidder (which was more or less the norm through much of human history).

Go Mrs. Schlock!

She's come a long, long way from her morg-induced-sexually-repressed youth.

I'm really proud of her - not an easy thing to do - overcome toxic indoctrination from one's childhood.

It's a battle that some never win (as many posters here have indicated).

It's one of my buttons with the church: They claim no harm, no foul. That those that leave the church should just move on, and forget about "things". Problem is, many of these "things" have scarred a lot of leavers - sometimes for life.

As a sidenote, notice that's what they're trying to do with the brave swedish members that are currently questioning. If you're in, absolutely no questioning. If you're out, then you need to shut up and move on.

The gall.

Sexual repression is no joke. It can really wreak havoc on your psyche...and your future sex life! Good for her.

Sometimes I get so fresh I slap myself.

Seriously though, masturbation isn't a problem anymore than eating. Both can become problematic, but are not inherently evil or what have you. I actually think that the Church is changing on this... (See Mormon Therapist and the ongoing conversation about masturbation in the comments on various pages--it seems that many bishops today don't worry about it.)

I hope this continues to change. Healthy sexual development is promoted by masturbation. On the other hand, demonizing it and heaping shame on those who do it (99% of humankind?) is extremely costly in terms of individual mental health.

I have a "M" problem, in that I can't "M." As my wife. I was so freaked out about "M" when I was a youth, being interrogated by my Bishops about it, that I simply cannot do it - there's a mind block there. It has to be the real thing else thumpin' the stump just won't work for me. I doubt sista missionaries have a "M" problem in the true sense of the word.

What is supposed to nice about masturbation (I would know, and can't speak from experience, myself) is that it can be whatever you want it to be. One just has to think of a quality fantasy. Since it's only fantasy, it can be whatever. This is what I hear.

yeah that's what I hear too. To much physio-psycho-emotional indoctrination for me at a young age via fear/guilt by weirdo leaders. Can you imagine telling a 12 year old boy that he needs to repent of this greivious sin...even "he that looketh upon a woman (even in fantasy)" has committed adultery in his heart. That's what my wise Bishop told me. He kept me from passing the sacrament for 1-month, and my parents were so embarrassed.

"She bop he bop a we bop, I bop you bop a they bop, Be bop be bop a lu she bop...Oh she do she bop"

CYNDI LAUPER - SHE BOP LYRICS

Now, I'm not an expert on this subject, but from my understanding, women CAN'T masturbate because their penises are too small.

Ah yes, but their Battery Operated Boyfriends (BOB) can be quite big, wink wink!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 01:13PM by Senoritalamanita.

There was a female RM in one of the areas in which I served in Australia that admitted to us that she had a life-long struggle with masturbation. She was in her mid-twenties and would openly talk to us 20-year-old boys about it, occasionally asking advice on how to avoid self-pleasure. None of us had any clue how to respond, yet she frequently brought it up.

Her roommate was a good friend of mine (screw mission rules - I enjoyed having friends, male and female) and would complain to me about her flatmate's obsession with the "sinfulness of sex." This friend was a sexually open and expressive person, and she didn't see the big deal with it all but really wanted her to shut up and stop confessing.

Because I would have wanted to hear more about this "problem."

No, because my friend's stories were way more graphic and outrageous than her roommate's showerhead confessions.

God, I loved Australia!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2013 02:51PM by En Sabah Nur.

Showerhead confessions. Teehee! The showerhead trick is awesome! It is one I would totally recommend to any red blooded female :-)

I actually had a very positive experience with confessing to my Bishop. I was never a mishie tho. My tbm momster caught me in the act (boy that sucked worse than the confession with her shaming BS), and made me tell the bish. He acted a little uncomfortable, you could tell he didn't feel right with those types of meetings. He quickly told me that I would be forgiven and that I should not let guilt get the better of me. He also told me that I was, and I quote, "the caliber of girl he hoped to see marry one of his sons one day." What a nice compliment. And I love how he sort of defended me, making my momster's shaming attempt null and void. I believe he asked to be released from the bishopric shortly after that. I wouldn't be surprised if he were an exmo now.

When I was a teen, we moved into an old house that had 3 shower heads. Aaah, the memories...

Muahahaha, and how bout those massage settings. Purrrrrrrr!

Yes me..... and yeah you definitely get the vibe that they're not used to hearing it from a girl..... this issue hung so heavy over my head, I almost didnt go on a mission. I rarely talk to anyone about personal things like this, so telling my bish was one of the most difficult things for me. But the guilt never left because I could never quit.... the longest I ever went was probably 2 weeks, except for on my mish.... then I even had the female equivalent, I guess, of wet dreams. Dreams of sexual nature that would bring me to climax... and the way they treat girls as not having a sex drive, just shamed me all the more. Uggg im so glad to be free from that madness.