Don't you people realize the Ensign is the word of God? It's modern day prophecy. This has been declared so many times in so many Mormon Sunday School classes, and I think there were even some supportive statements from some GAs, that it must be official Mormon doctrine. That means every little thing in the Ensign is the inspired word of God, and God can not lie. Now however, if things in the Ensign were provable as being untrue, especially on a regular basis, then that would mean that either Elohim is a big fat liar, or that the Ensign is just a magazine full of random articles written by a collection of random Mormons, and not the inspired modern day scripture that we have been told.

This is why I love the faith promoting stories in the Ensign. They are so obviously BS, and each one is normally written with just enough detail, that if you pull on the threads of the article, the whole thing comes apart. For instance, faith promoting stories on the adventures of Paul Dunn come to mind.

A recent example is the 42 Congo natives that had to walk six days to get baptized. My question is, if they lived so remotely, how were the missionaries able to regularly make contact with them in order to teach them the discussions? Furthermore, if there were missionaries available to teach them, why couldn't these same missionaries not baptize them at a more convenient place?

Did the missionaries get transferred to another city right before the baptizing of an entire branch worth of new members? Really? The mission president was just too anxious to get them to go to another spot, that he just didn't have time for the old investigators? Did they have to walk six days to get an interview with the Zone Leader? Which begs the question, why not bring the zone leader to them? Maybe the 42 Congolese had all been involved in serious "transgressions" and had to be interviewed first by the Mission President. Mission President kind of sounds like an ass for making them come to him.

Or maybe this is all just a bunch of smoke and mirrors. Either there wasn't ever any 42 Congolese, or the Congolese decided to walk for six days, in order to get baptized into a church they had never heard of. The last makes since if it was part of a ploy by desperate people to try and get hand outs from some gullible church, but it would also mean that the church is using gimmicks, such as tying humanitarian aid to baptism, in order to inflate their numbers.

Maybe it was during the "dry" season and the water hole was too shallow and had lots of crocs and Gabon Vipers (2 inch fangs, very poisonous).???

Need more details don't we?

Just like Tommy M.s stories of widows. I imagine his former ward members always scratching their heads wondering what widow he was talking about that he supposedly helped.....

And the widows were wondering too!

The JWs claim to be followers of Jehovah without the need for prophets to follow. Yet, the LDS Ensign Magazine of today is remarkably similar in content to the Watchtowers and Awakes of 20 or 30 or more years ago. Propaganda with diversity. But in the case with mormons, the diversity in their media doesn't reflect the people actually in the seats and/or leadership, (seen an Ensign conference centerfold lately?) Too many years of unenlightened baggage will do that.

O/T, but I imagine this is what an Ensign centerfold would look like if the magazine was more awesome and gave people what they wanted. http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0127/7452/products/womens-magic-mormon-underwear-46_large.jpg warning, no nudity, but you may not want to look at it at work.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2013 10:23AM by forbiddencokedrinker.

I would like to see the reaction of the Congolese ward if we could slip them a copy of the Ensign.

And the Mission President didn't want to travel through it, so he had the converts make the trip to him. That, or perhaps some warlord had taken the missionaries captive and they were unavailable. Any chance that there may have been a "Book of Mormon" (Broadway) situation here? d