..I guess. Over the years we've read posts by our friends here that bring us to the brink of tears. Loneliness, isolation, family rejection...very poignant.

I never felt any of that. Other than the relative quiet I experienced during my divorce (only one of three sons remained with me), my leaving the church was relatively painless. I'd been in for about 22 years, bishoprics, high counselor, stake mission leader, primary teacher and everything in between.

I feel very fortunate in this. I proclaimed apostasy, told the Bishop to have me ex'd, happened in about 3 weeks, got my "your ex'd" letter and never heard a peep from anyone (except the Bishop, with whom I am, to this day, still good friends). No missionaries looking me up (tried to come get my son though), no visits from HT's, bishopric, stake reps... nothing. I felt no pangs of regret whatsoever. I was GONE, gone.

Although I beat myself up for many years for falling into the trap and believing it all, hook, line and sinker, my travails in leaving the morg have been de minimis.

I feel for all of you that have such a hard time, and I apologize for my flip attitude that slips out frequently. I often laugh at things I don't understand. That's just me. I have no concept of having to post as "anon" or something akin to it. I rail on the church at will with my name right out in front of it. My ex quit trying to get me to come back years ago and we're now, for the last 5 years or so, becoming more and more civil, if not friendly, with one another.

To be sure, I testify that the church is a joke. It is founded upon bullshit and changes colors like a chameleon to suit its own devices. The Mormon god is NOT the same yesterday, today and forever as I was taught. Joseph Smith was a snake oil salesman with a penchant for schtupping any skirt that he fancied. Those old men in SLC are the board of directors of a corporation parading around like a church. GA's telling us to be pickles is a strong clue that those men are either 1) robotic idiots; or 2) smooth talking shysters. Tithing funds are NOT used in the greater part to help those less fortunate. It is used for profiteering, mall building, hunting reserve purchases, and the building up of the kingdom of the old dudes in SLC.

Love ya'll, side with most of you, sympathize with all of you but empathize with only a few.

Just sayin'...

ron

here here ron.

Amen.

My life has been nothing but a dream since I have left.

I was divorced and inactive, then moved to a different city 2 hours away. I read the other side of mormonism on the internet over the course of a week and sent my resignation letter. I did have to track down the bishop of my new town and encourage him to get the deed done. Other than that, nada. That's why I never post my exit story - there isn't one! No one tracked me down; no love bombs; no missionaries to hose down.

But I understand not everyone has had it so easy.

I testify that Brother ExMormonRon does indeed speak the truth and I leave this with you in Ron's name...

amEn!

LOL

My departure was quite easy as well. There were a handful of Mormon friends who tried to re-fellowship me, but they were easy enough for me to avoid as I had moved to start college in a new city.

Since I was 18 and just starting college, I just accepted the weird disconnectedness and loss of my faith as a normal part of my life. Everything was so new and overwhelming that the loss of my church and faith fell pretty quickly to the bottom of my list of concerns.

Most importantly, though, was not having TBM immediate family giving me shit. We were all on our way out at the same time. This made my exit quite easy.

I have a great deal of respect for those who are much more closely tied to the church and got out in spite of the heavy losses they had to endure.

Hats off to all y'all for your courage!

helped that I was an adult convert when I joined, and I had some family support.

My natural personality helped also; the ability to get to the healing element of humor has been one of my strong points throughout my life and was well established even in grade school. The ability to laugh at our own foibles is one of the most healing things we do for ourselves, and I do for myself. I grew up in a Depression Era family that could see the humor in the most absurd things! I'm so grateful for that!

I'm also an independent woman and strong extrovert, comfortable with being in front of people, able to think on my feet, and speak with clarity. All those things worked in a positive manner to keep my confidence, and self respect cooking on: "high"! Beat myself up over anything? Nah, it's not productive.

I'm shocked, flabbergasted, and shaken to the core by some of the stories of the horrible time many have had with the members of the LDS Church. I've had my share of very minor ones,(by comparison), not even in the same category of the most dire. It's beyond my comprehension, at times, how people can be so cruel to one another. But they are.

I have long ago left my "adopted tribe" and have found what it means to make peace with my life, all of it.

Life is so short. I'm grateful for every day I wake up . . . and hurt someplace, it's an important clue: I'm still alive and ready for another day!

I'm a strong believer in owning your own power, and setting clear boundaries, especially since leaving a religious culture that doesn't do much of either.

My thoughts go out to all of you -- everything I read tells me that our paths out are so different.

I applaud anyone who can make a major change in their life, taking personal control of what they want and don't want in their life.

Changing your mind about our beliefs and leaving a strong religious cultural tribe is a big life altering task.

It's been very hard for my husband and I. We live smack dab in Mormondom, both sides of our family have over the top TBM's who are very involved in our lives, and we have been attacked very harshly by these "loved" ones. It hurts so bad...sometimes I want to either move far away or never see these people again. At least my husband and I have each other to lean on. So many of you all don't have that kind of support at all...so I consider myself lucky...

Did you also wear a sign on the back of your shirt that said "kick me" ?

I am ever thankful to my parents for leaving the Morridor a few years before I was born, gradually becoming complete inactives, and surely saving our whole family from a life as morgbots.

My parents were raised in the church, all of my ancestors trekked to SLC from distant countries in the mid- 1800's, and I know it was a huge break for them to leave their families and culture to come to the PNW back in the 50's. We traveled back there constantly when I was growing up to visit family, so we were always exposed to the whole sordid thing and got a good taste of what we were missing.

All of that to say that I sometimes don't feel part of the 'club' because I also have not experienced the awful pain and agony that so many of you have, but I have learned a lot from all of you about the culture that is my heritage. It all serves to again make me thank my parents for getting us out of there when they did, whatever their motivations were at the time. And I am also often entertained by mainly of the posts!

This is it for me.

I can't waste anymore of my precious time in the cult and want to save my posterity the grief I endured for so long. I hope they appreciate it half as much as you do.

rain I loved reading what you wrote.

We left the church when our BIC daughter was three, almost four years old. We never hid the fact from her that we had been Mormon for we knew that she would meet Mormons in her life and she did and then she'd come home from school and say "Mum, there's a Mormon girl in my class." Then she'd ask about specific teachings and then would say, "I am so glad that you and Daddy left the church when I was little and I didn't have to be a Mormon."

Our daughter didn't have a long Mormon heritage as DH and I were converts but we didn't want her ever meeting Mormon missionaries and not know what we know about that church.

You and our daughter are part of the club without the as you said "the awful pain and agony" that comes with having had to be Mormon. But how valuable that you both know Mormon history, culture, beliefs and wouldn't be converted and have to experience what many of us have.

rain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am ever thankful to my parents for leaving the
> Morridor a few years before I was born, gradually
> becoming complete inactives, and surely saving our
> whole family from a life as morgbots.
>
> My parents were raised in the church, all of my
> ancestors trekked to SLC from distant countries in
> the mid- 1800's, and I know it was a huge break
> for them to leave their families and culture to
> come to the PNW back in the 50's. We traveled back
> there constantly when I was growing up to visit
> family, so we were always exposed to the whole
> sordid thing and got a good taste of what we were
> missing.
>
> All of that to say that I sometimes don't feel
> part of the 'club' because I also have not
> experienced the awful pain and agony that so many
> of you have, but I have learned a lot from all of
> you about the culture that is my heritage. It all
> serves to again make me thank my parents for
> getting us out of there when they did, whatever
> their motivations were at the time. And I am also
> often entertained by mainly of the posts!

I enjoyed your post and am very, very envious. I am not sure why but your words make me cry.

Actually i just love people who can use "de minimis" in conversation.

Tres cool.

Ron, I often laugh at things I DO understand! ;o))

The cool thing about your post, Ron, is that you seemed to do quite well with Mormonism. And yet you still quit, because you found out that it was bunk. Sounds like integrity. Congrats.

I didn't shed a single tear when I left the church, even though it ruined my marriage. Not a single difficult thing about my exit either.

Hell, I wish the missionaries would try to bother me so that I could have a chance to try and destroy their faith.

Alas, the morg never cared about me then and certainly doesn't now.

Well my mother carried on for the first 10 years or so and then seemed to accept it. My dad has never given me any grief about not going to church etc.

I don't really care what my siblings think. They're all from a different generation and we don't see each other very often these days.

Don't have any kids to give me hell for my apostasy like some here do. The people in town still do business with me, they're used to never seeing me at church and have given up on reactivation.

I guess I'm different than most too. Though it was really rough for a few years there. Probably wouldn't have been all that bad if I hadn't ended up living where I grew up.

I'd still rather be an exmo in a mormon town than be a mormon. They've also learned that shunning is a two way street. Especially to someone who doesn't care that he's being shunned.

Who needs mormons when you have real friends?