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Posted by: Rowell back ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:44PM

To meet Fanny in the barn.
He was running from the mob.
To look for buried treasure.
An angel with a flaming sword was chasing him.

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Posted by: StoneInHat ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:45PM

To get laid.

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Posted by: lazyeye ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:47PM

To celestialize with the maiden . . .

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:50PM

To avoid one of his wives husbands.

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Posted by: Senoritalamanita ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:50PM

Because the other chickens were busy that day.

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Posted by: rutabaga ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:53PM

+ 1 million

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Posted by: vh65 ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:29PM

I think this is right up with the very popular answer below, myself. He was on the run after destroying the press but Emma convinced him to do the honorable thing and turn himself in. Maybe she was sick of her "position" and telling him to man up in hopes of becoming suddenly single instead of one among 38 wives...



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/07/2013 01:32PM by vh65.

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Posted by: Lenina ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:35PM

At church were were repeatedly taught how loyal to Joseph she was, how loving, understanding, faithful. I learned on my own later when I visited Nauvoo that after Joseph died and members followed Brigham out west, Emma chose to stay in Nauvoo. She remarried (I saw the house that her new husband lived in), and they had nothing more to do with TSCC after that.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 12:56PM


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Posted by: Hugh ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:00PM

There was a 14 year old girl scout selling cookies.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:06PM

TO GET TO THE OTHER BRIDE!!!

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:09PM

+!100

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:12PM


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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:13PM


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Posted by: Mormoney ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:17PM

not sure that one can be topped LOL

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:17PM

+1M

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Posted by: releve ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 03:03PM

I hope that there is a place for gems like this to linger longer.

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Posted by: Senoritalamanita ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 03:16PM

+ quadrillion!

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Posted by: lucky ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 03:24PM

you should get a prize for that

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Posted by: sha'dynasty ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 04:25PM

Perfection.

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Posted by: exmorphmon ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:17PM

It was in his nature to cross and double cross anyone or anything in his path. (the conniving bastard!)

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Posted by: Senoritalamanita ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 03:17PM

This one was dang good too! Brilliant.

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Posted by: vh65 ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 01:30PM

So much darkness and rejection associated with leaving TSCC and often family too. It's great to share a moment of laughter about this stuff. Thanks for the post!

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Posted by: StoneInHat ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 03:08PM

Because his seer stone showed him treasure on the other side.

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Posted by: wowbagger ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 04:10PM

to have sex with a teen on the side

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Posted by: oldklunker ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:11PM

To assume JS conspired to facilitate movement of any appendage to cross the road, one would have to prove intent that he factually had a legitimate purpose to cross the road. We are not sure JS actually encountered a street from the following definition:
a public thoroughfare, usually paved, in a village, town, or city, including the sidewalk or sidewalks.

To forward the argument I will call the proposed street a road.


Through diligent research I have not found transcripts in his hand writing proving JS actually crossed a road. Also, narratives from others who could have witnessed or knew of factual evidence for a reason for crossing is not found in any journals or from personal scribes.

We can assume he had reason and purpose to cross any road at any time for a multitude of reasons. Just because we could not find factual evidence for JS crossing a road, does not mean that tscc is false.

I am sure in time the revelation will come as to why JS did cross a road in his journey to restore the gospel. Until then we will have to have faith that if he did cross a road is was for divine purpose and reason.

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Posted by: happyhollyhomemaker ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:46PM

That's a FAIR assessment!

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Posted by: blueorchid ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:55PM


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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 07:00PM

Don't forget, just because Prophet Joseph was near to the road, and gazing intently at the females on the other side, we don't know _that_ he crossed, or _why_ the Lord instructed him to be there in that holy place at all. We have no evidences to guide us, and we must rely instead on the strength of our iron-clad faith.

Remember, Brothers and Sisters, proximity does not imply intent, correlation is not causality, and if Brother Joseph did cross the road and place his hand on a female's thigh, it was only under the extreme duress of a _direct_ commandment from the Lord or His factotum.

We don't know why the Lord commanded Joseph to perform the many arduous tasks he accomplished, but we can know from the strength of our testimony that Joseph Smith never moved a muscle unless it was for the benefit of all mankind, without any profit whatsoever to this humble man.

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Posted by: HHH ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:49PM

Because Marinda Johnson's brothers made him!

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Posted by: fluhist ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:51PM

LOVE it WineCountryGirl!!!! Soooooo true!

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Posted by: qwerty6pack ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:52PM

Rowell back for starting the thread: Bronze

Old lunker for FAIR ridicule: Silver

And the winner is... Wine Country Girl!!!

Best joke I've heard!

I think a tear rolled down my leg!

:-)

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Posted by: Joseph Smith ( )
Date: August 07, 2013 06:53PM


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