Hello. I am curious about what would happen if two LDS adults were found out to be living together for marriage.

Both are active members, and one lies about the address.

Is excommunication a possibility?

It mostly depends on circumstances. If they've both been through the temple, it's likely. If one of them is still married to someone else, they extremely likely. I've found it depends on the Bishop who handles it.

Probably, depending on the circumstances, and the willingness of the two LDS adults to 'repent', eg separate or marry. Personally I would find the need to sneak around difficult and bad for the relationship. But I cannot judge as I don't know everything that is involved. So if they are both happy with the situation, why should it be anyone's business but their own? As they are both adults, they are very capable of making their own decisions.

It's my daughter. Her boyfriend got baptized and then she followed suit. They both wanted it so badly but were unable to afford to live in separate homes. From what I understand, they are not sleeping together until marriage but simply can't afford to separate. I am not a fan of what I have read here on these boards, but I will say it has made her and her bf very happy and changed them for the better; I just feel bad that they have to hide such a large part of their lives.

Why are you posting here if you are not a fan of what you read on this board?

Just curious.


Anagrammy

I took that sentence to mean OP is not a fan of what they have read here about the Mormon church, but that it has helped change the daughter and boyfriend in good ways.

That's how I took it anyway.

Have they been masterbating?

My guess is they are sleeping together. That is just real life.

snuckafoodberry Wrote:
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> My guess is they are sleeping together. That is
> just real life.

I have to agree with this. I don't know how they could live together as bf/gf and not be sleeping together. If they are not now they will be soon. Hey maybe that will be a good thing though young love could outweigh their desire to be members. Just a thought.

Nobody has a right to know what they do with their genitals.

Such intrusive personal questions deserve a lie --they were taught this by being quizzed by a bishop in the earliest blush of puberty. It trains them to allow a strange man to demand answers about what's happening between their legs.

Atrocious grooming.


Anagrammy

Believe it or not, it could be true. I could have had that with my first husband because I didn't realize I was marrying my best friend....but if it had been my second husband and we were living like that...if my lips were moving...I'd have been lying!

I was ex'd for living with my non member fiancee for a short time before our wedding.

I had been an inactive for years at the time. I didn't even know the bishop. Had never been to church there.

He showed up at my door late one night to serve me my papers.

Funny thing, three years before that I had lived with an inactive RM in a different ward. Never knew anyone in that place either. Nobody ever bothered us. We were both divorced ex temple marrieds.

So, the thing is, it depends on the bishop. It also depends on if you're pretending to be righteous mo's, but aren't. If someone has it out for you, you will most likely be x'd.

My question would be, why? Why would you want to go to a church that doesn't want you? I would suggest you both read mormonthink.com and come to a conclusion if you even want to be members. You may both decide to resign together and remove the whole Mormon threat of interference from your life. It's none of their business if you're living together or not.

When I was active and a member of the high counsil, I was living with my girlfriend (also a member). When people in church began to talk and the stake president questioned me, I told him it was all lies, and I would sue anyone who spread it. He never asked again and I went home to have sex with my girlfried.
That was the good part about being a male in a leadership position: No one dared to challenge you.

She had not been active for over 20 years when locals showed up to fellowship her back to church. Her live-in man friend who shared half the cost of their home and who had lived there for nearly 20 years, answered the door since she was gone. He said she wasn't interested.

A few weeks later she was notified of a church court which she didn't attend. Soon after, she received notice that she'd been found guilty and was exed.

My friend who had no animosity toward the morg became furious over that incident. She used to post here under the name of Excommunicat I think.

Well, I wouldn't normally, but seeing as how you asked so nicely....

One couple slept together just prior to temple wedding never confessed it, and his patraiachal blessing said he would be called as bishop. Years later he was then he felt to confess it but general authority that was out, cleared him on the spot and he got to be bishop. The other couple who confessed,the of sex out of marrige before the temple wedding was delayed through disfellowship and years later never was called as bishop as his patrarical blessing had also promised...Plus imagine the self-esteem affected and the noses turned up who came to hear about it shamed that couple and sent them to hell.

The lucky couple who didnt confess got all the future blessings and a good name never hung out their dirty linnen, was sealed in the temple immediatly, no disfellowship because no confession back then and he got to be the bishop.

this is true story and unfair to the couple who did confess and never covered it up, was doomed to an unlucky life and never good enough for him to be called to bishop.

australian downunder.

Tell your daughter and her friend to resign from the church.
Problem solved.

Mormonism will only take their money and mess up their lives, they might as well quit while they're ahead.

If they're both active the bishop will come down hard on them.

If they were inactive the bishop would send cookies.

Funny how that works..

It really depends on how well liked the couple is in the ward, and if the bishop is kind and believes that they're not having sex. I know a couple that lived together before they were married because they couldn't afford separate apartments. They cleared it with the bishop and they were married in the temple, no problem.

As you are reading, there are a lot of variables as to how this will turn out. The most important being the personality of the bishop and stake president. Are they kind and understanding or rigid and controlling?

I knew a young woman in my ward who was a recent convert. Soon after her conversion she met an inactive (Jack Mormon) and they moved in together. I have no idea if they were or were not sleeping together. When the bishop found out about it he offered to overlook/forgive her since she was such a new member as long as they stopped living together. The young woman was furious and stayed with her boyfriend. She also stopped going to church. She was pretty soon after excommunicated. Most church authorities are more upset at being disobeyed than they are upset about sin.

I would say it depends on the bishop/stake president more than it does the circumstance.

One of the big problems with the LDS church is that each bishop/and stake president is almost literally the god of his stake/ward. The members are told priesthood leaders literally represent Christ yet each one of them does something completely different based on their own personality and biases and there is essentially zero appeal - if you try to take it up the chain you are speaking evil of the lords anointed.

Yes a couple living together absolutely could be ex-communicated even retroactively.

We have no idea what sharing a life is like until we try it. And you can't find out what it's really like, how good or bad it can be, form living with just one person before marrying. I think people should have at least three cohabitating experiences under their belt before marrying.