I hope it isn't until I am an old man, but I'm ready.

We always will have unfinished business. Those who are left behind make it right. They make sense of it.

I've seen so many die, and I know how I want to go. I want to be given enough meds to deal with pain and anxiety flare-ups but want to be fully capable of meaningful discussion for as long as possible.

I have a few patients actively dying right now. One who really was close to my heart died last week. They are transitioning peacefully, and I'm not afraid anymore.

I used to worry about how my family would get by, but I see so many families make it through and make sense of it.

I used to worry about the unknown, but I don't anymore. If I live on, it would be a surprise I can deal with. If a god or judgement exists, I stand with my integrity.

Life is good. No worries on the way out.

I want to die like sithlord's grandfather. In his 80's not ill, just sat in his chair to take a nap like normal and didn't wake up.

Not me. In the jaws of a great white, or floating out into space in a space suit with limited power/oxy. Awesome!

I have advanced endometrial cancer.


There is a real chance I could die -- IF my cancer recurs, which (according to the statisticians) there is at least a 60% or 70% chance of happening within the next two years. IF it recurs, the average woman lives about a year after the recurrance.


I AM NOT -- I REPEAT, NOT !!! -- READY TO DIE !!!!!!


Just so you know...

I've thought recently that I'm ready. But, after reading your post - I'm with you. You persuaded me. I'm not ready.

I hope you have one beautiful day after another . . . after another.

Cancer Warrior, I was diagnosed with 4th stage Liver disease 4 years ago. The average time of death following diagnosis is 5 years. One year to go! But I'm secretly hoping for at least another 20...not that that's going to happen...sigh. I'm not ready either!

"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." ~ Woody Allen

I think about it from time to time. I'm 62, so at my age I keep seeing tons of people in the obituaries who are younger than myself!

Also, today at 1 PM, my stepfather passed away. It was his time. He had been fading mentally and physically for a long time and died laying in a rest home. Fortunately my mother was able to be at his side when he passed.

40 here, and other than seeing how my kids turn out, I'm ready to go. I've done enough.

IVE HAD A HARD LONELY LIFE WAS TREATED BAD BECAME A SCREWED UP TEENAGER DID DRUGS FOR AWHILE HAD KIDS AND IM JUST WORN OUT I QUIT DRUGS QUIT DRINKING IN IM JUST TOO TIRED ANGRY IN SAD TOO CARRY ON I MEAN I HAVE LOTS OF STORYS IN WOES AS ME BUT IT JUST SEEMS LIKE I WAS MY WORST ENEMY AND PROBLEM THE WHOLE TIME IDK I DONT WANT TOO LEAVE MY KIDS BUT I THINK IT BE BETTER FOR THEM I MEAN IM PUTTN US IN DEBT AND JUST DONT TREAT THERE MOM RIGHT NEVER FELL IN LOVE WITH HER IT WAS DRUGS SEX THAN REALITY AND I K A PART OF ME IS SCARED OF HURTN THEM IN NOT BEING THERE FOR THEM BUT I FEEL ITS BEST TOO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT I LOVE GOOD ROCK N ALTERNATIVE MUSIC 90s soul i listen too sad music n feel same way im just sad and tired if i owned a gun id already be gone im a realist who speaks the truth in its never benifeited me too be truthful i dont steal and mind my own life i guess music and basketball were my only real passions and i was shy and insecure grown up no dad alcoholic mom and no fam i let myself and family down life full of regrets and mistakes just sad really but i deserve too die for just turning my hurt into hate peace world and gl too all the good peeps who try life with a truthful approach PS I DO LOVE THERE MOM ALOT JUST A DIFFERENT TYPE LOVE IDK MAYBE THATS LOVE IDK ACCEPT FOR MY KIDS IVE NEVER FELT NEEEDED OR LOVED AND I THINK THAT CAME TOO LATE WHEN I WAS TRYN HARD JUST WAS WAY TOO WEAK BY THE TIME I REALIZED IT PEACE !

Sometimes I think I am, then something comes along that I would hate to miss.

I want to see my daughters wedding. I want to know my grandchildren that haven't been born yet.

When I die, I would like to die peacefully in my sleep. A stroke would be my worst nightmare. Everyone wants to save you. You then Have a good chance of living a very limited life that is dependent on others to take care of you. I don't ever want to be in that situation.

It's not like we haven't already been dead, in a sense, before we were born, and it's not going to be much different than being asleep, and very similar to the experience of being under general anesthesia. One thing is for certain, at least with my world view, we will never be upset that we are dead.

That's the scenario that I think most likely. Many people can't seem to handle this, though. Maybe that's why a lot of them are religious!

I suspect when I die that the next 15 billion years will pass as fast as the first.

So many people worry constantly about death when it is an inevitable thing for all of us. I like what Eckhart Tolle had to say about death. In essence, he said why worry about it NOW in the present moment? All we have is NOW, we will deal with death when it comes.

I am by no means..wanting to die. However, I have realized that it is inevitable and I must live my life in the present. Millions of my ancestors have died before me... what makes me so special? It is a natural cycle of life.. so why fear it?

Im not afraid of death. Im just afraid of how and when. My kids spend 90% of their time with me (they are 3 & 4 yrs. old) so it would be much too hard on them if I were gone and im just too young.. Im not ready to die for many many years.

What kind of doctor/nurse/caregiver/provider are you?

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming my head off like the passengers in his car. ;)

Dammit, I was gonna say that!

I'd like to have Kevorkian around again.

Whoaah, what a thread to wake up to.
I take my favorite cat to the free Vet today for a simple ear mite case that she has overreacted to. I have the energy today to do that, day before yesterday, I did not.
I am waiting for blood work done on me to get back so I can get a liver biopsy in preparation for treatment for Hep C. Likely treatment will be denied again because of my tendency towards depression. No matter, I have had it over 30 years and I know the clock tics on.
As a hospice worker, I have attended a few deaths.
I am tired. My parents are dead and no family but my 2 grown kids. Both are solidly in society. The society Eddie Vedder sings of. I however sing along to the song from the singer's view.
:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy6iwP9Ux3A

My life is in order. I work daily with those others would forget. My life is full compared to just over a year ago when I attended church. My church is the streets and I attend with all my life. I follow the Buddhist philosophy and my home is warm and welcoming. I help people learn to pray again if they choose or to explore agnostic/atheism paths. I help people with addictions. Not wonderful young men/women who masturbate .. but real addictions. Killing addictions, and love them as they die. AA daily meetings are walking distance from me.
I feel fulfilled, if today be it .. I am ready with a smile.

I performed my first civil marriage on Valentine's day. I am still on the church's books and a woman .. Screw you Church! But thank-you for forcing me to the light.
gawds now I will be called a drama queen... This IS MY Recovery!!! This just hit me hard this morn. Thank-you all

I have a bunch of serious heart problems, none of which can be fixed. Every day I wake up, I feel I've cheated the grim reaper.

Don't even think about death much any more. It's out there, and when it comes, it comes. Just try and make the most of each day, like getting on this bulletin board and reading about all the great people that are here. Makes my day.

I told someone again the other day that I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to have never lived my life with joy. I have not really enjoyed my life...as there was much abuse...and etc.

I am not afraid to die as I have had an after life experience and there is not much to it really.
It's not scarey. Pain is worse. That's the hard part, I think.

I will never be atheist as I have died and believe in an after life. I know...I know...don't try to tell me (as others have) about the brain and it's effects in death. It wasn't like that either. I can see the need for the brain to participate. But, there was more to it than that for me.

Still, I am glad that you have reached peace regarding it. That can only serve you well. As really there is nothing there to fear. But, fear itself.

Dying sounds scary. Sometimes there's a lot of suffering before death. But once you're gone, it's probably the best thing ever. I'm retired, and the blood sweat and tears part of my life is over. I do not miss it. My shrink keeps asking me what I do with my days, and I don't know how to tell him that less is more.

This is the best part of my life, despite chronic pain and advancing decrepitude. When others were in charge, such as parents and bosses, I had a horrible time. I guess I'm not ready to die, but most of my life was sh!tty, and I won't miss that.

I pretty much feel the same way.

Now that the parents, bosses, and other pain inflicting people aren't in the picture, I find it easier to see the good in life.

I can focus on people, places and experiences that make me happy. I don't have to worry about the people in my past ruining my day.`

I'm mostly content now. I didn't think there would ever be a time when I felt like that. I had to wade through a lot of crap to get here though. That's not saying life is perfect. There will always be difficult things to deal with as long as you're breathing.

This is why I do not want children. Why inflict a life of struggle and difficulty on someone who would otherwise not exist? I do not see the point. I wish my parents had spared me the trouble. No, I am not depressed. Just in midlife and realizing Ive got a good 25 years to go until I can say FU to my boss.

Hey, we survived childhood!

That was the worst, for me. Now I'm out of Mormonism and away from my birth family, I don't need to worry about a mean God deliberately punishing me for disobeying my abusive parents, or for being late to church, or for asking questions, or for reading too much, or for laughing too much, etc. etc. Pain is horrible, but there are kind doctors and nurses and professionals who will try to help ease the pain. When I was beaten and tortured, I often lost consciousness from the pain. Unconsciousness is merciful. I have "died" before, and it is a letting-go.

I don't want to die, but I'm not afraid to die. Can you imagine my previous fear, when I believed in the Mormon version of heaven? Before I resigned, the Mormons would have me still married to the wife-batterer temple ex-husband, who almost killed me. Not only that, but I would be the first of a total of three temple wives who he beat-up, and who he is still married to. (Mormon men believe they will have more than just three wives in the CK.) When I die, for real, with no ER rescue, I will die knowing I'm FREE of cult curses, threats, and superstitions. My children will all know it, too.

Speaking of death, when I left the cult, I planned my own funeral--in writing. It will NOT be a Mormon funeral. No Mormon prayers, speakers, officiators, buildings, grave-dedications. (Have you listened to a Mormon grave dedication? It is creepy! It has to be dedicated by the "Holy Priesthood.) I've already paid for everything, and my family will have a private "wake" in celebration of our life together. Be specific, or else the Mormons will take over!

Hello Cancer Warrier,

I too had endometrial cancer, but I was fortunate, I had symptoms and they got it at stage 1, with extensive surgery.

I just wanted to wish you well. I know that it is tough, but I hope for many more PAIN FREE years for you!!

To all the rest of you, in so many different places, I understand it all. I am 61, a cancer survivor, and when the time comes I will be ready. Until then I enjoy the little things of life and do the best I can. I love my uncomplicated ex-mo life, my friends, my family and my little home. I love my work and my long walks.

Take care all of you, with all my VERY best wishes!

What I do NOT want is to linger for years with dementia, loss of sight (family eye problems) and hearing and not knowing what is going on around me. My dear mother was in this state of decline for a year.

Also, please get your financial affairs in order. I made sure that everything for my mom was done years ago when she was lucid and could understand what she was signing. She had no real estate anymore so that was easy and I used beneficiary designations on her accounts. Things are all done and divided.

I've been ready to die for quite some time now. You'd think my parent's reaction and the bullying I got as a teenager would have been enough for me to kill myself, but the fear of hell and damnation is the ONLY thing that held me back as well as fear of trying and failing and being crippled from it. A reason to live has a lot to do with personal success and family/friends that you'd hate to leave behind. My parents are still alive, but with what my mom has gone through it would be mercy for her to die (she's 66), but I don't really want to be left behind either. I've found that neither of them brought me happiness though as their religious dogma and Jekyll/Hyde personalities left me scarred and made me not like being around them for long. My career is pretty much vaporized, degree I spent a decade obtaining apparently worthless and I have absolutely nothing to show for 33 years of my life. Nothing at all. I have no children (unless you want to count a 17 year old cat who has maybe 5 years tops left). My grandparents are all dead, and I wasn't close to any of them. I'm not close to my other relatives, barely know or get along with my brother and my dad won't help me with my financial difficulties. He threw me out when I had nowhere to go. I have bad credit, bad references (was fired from the only real job I ever had), major student loan debt and very few friends. I have ADD, possibly even Aspergers, which keeps me from being able to relate properly to people or succeed in jobs. I am disatisfied with every aspect of my life, and I suspect those that try to tell me I still am young and have more to live for are those that think suicide is wrong. I have been in situations on several occassions where I could have easily died and didn't, and it seems the only thing I'm good for is giving people advice only because I can tell them what NOT to do. It's like my whole life is an example of what happens when you make the wrong decision even if it seemed okay at the time. I feel my life is a prison, I feel like I can't make anyone happy and I'm here as some kind of punishment. If reincarnation turns out to be real, I carried over some really bad karma from a former life. If nothing is real but reality, I've just been a very unlucky person born to unfortunate circumstances where I never had a chance. I only wish that some body from the "other side" could come and give me some advice and help me figure out how to fix all this, but this doesn't happen so I don't see what the point of it all is. I'm pretty much at the end of my rope and don't think that the world needs another desperate mouth to feed when there are already way too many of us on this increasingly crappy planet.

Considering the title of this thread its rather humorous that it got resurrected!

I've said it before, but I want to go out as the oldest man to ever die while having sex.

They say the most expensive two weeks of your life are your last two. Usually people end up in the hospital and that really runs the meter up. I hope to avoid that. That's all I'm going to say on that subject.

Don't worry about "death", the pain before hand, well, that is another matter. We could talk long and philosophically about "death", but in the end we may not accept what we each believe and we'd likely argue. So all I'll say is, using the logic many here accept, why worry? It ends, right? Nothing. So there is nothing to worry about. Everybody gets there. Ain't none of us getting out of this thing alive.

Which is actually the case, either way.