Or accidently find yourself shaking your head in disgust?

One time a friend of mine (YSA Ward) burst into laughter and then tried to make it sound like she was just choking to death instead. Which then made me laugh too.

The testimony bearer, very casually said, "I know Jesus lives, because he LIVES with me."

"I didn't know Jesus had roommates".

She was a convert and didn't stay active for long.

sometimes me and DH would quietly laugh in Sacrament Meeting during Testimonies... but, we were mostly really disturbed by the things people would say. We would talk and laugh about them on the car ride home.

My mission comp and I busted out laughing during the endowment video one time. "We will go down, Jehova"

THAT was awkward..

Glad I wasn't there for that endowment. There would have been three busting up.

Endowment and We will go down all at the same time. THAT made me laugh out loud.

ALL THE TIME!!! Then I'd look around me and wonder if everyone else was deaf or in a coma.

One of my favorites was when this really, really weird guy got up to bear his testimonkey. He was quite odd, and the word was that he'd done way too much acid in the 1960s. He was telling eveyone about a single adult activity he went to in a city park, and how he had an interesting conversation with a single woman in the ward. Only he didn't say it that way. He said that he and Sister So-And-So "stimulated each other in the park." I lost it!

One time another guy got up and told us we "have a damn fine church!" A really old guy toward the end of his life would get up and tell everyone that Jesus appeared to him, and what Jesus wanted the ward to know this month. And one woman would get up regularly every month to tell everyone how rotten her husband was, with him sitting right next to her.

My Mom had to elbow me in the ribs so many times to get me to stop laughing that I'm surprised I don't have permanent damage.

Funny things happen when your blood sugar level is messed up....

Good point!

A recent convert got up to the mic, raised her hands into the air and yelled " I feeeel the SPIRIT, yes I FEEL the SPIRIT in this Church TODAY. Oh LORD, can you FEEL the SPIRIT of your CHOSEN People!"

My best friend and I watched as the old Proper members freaked out and we couldn't contain ourselves. DH looked at me from the podium putting his finger to his lips and shook his head.

Gotta love the convert - she continued to give her testimony every Sunday until she moved to Utah, to be in the promised land. Bet that first testimony meeting was a doozie!

My Comp (arrogant a$$) asked one nice old lady "Which abomination do you belong to?" She of course was hard of hearing, and explained she went to the Baptist church right down the street. Me...I acted like I was coughing when she gave me a funny look.

The first time was funny, then he asked every old person he met the same question. Few of them caught him on it.

Worse than that, on my mission we were playing basket ball district against district. Someone from the other district made a habit of "cherry picking" with no ref, I called him on it. And he of course, said "So what?" We had a bit of a non-brotherly discussion. Next time he did it, I let out an involuntary "FU--"...and ended up talking to the MP a few days later about it...

I remember one lady in our ward would get up there and air all of her dirty laundry. It always amazed me that she had no clue that nobody wanted to hear it. I would shake my head in disgust. Then there would always be one of the charming guys in the ward who would get up there right after and "save" the meeting.

Funny thing is now I would be shaking my head in disgust at the charming guy "saving" the meeting more so than the poor woman airing her laundry. At least she wasn't up there putting up a facade.

Once you leave you become highly aware of just how judgmental you were to people. I kick myself frequently.

I did as well as my TBM wife, when an uber righteous high councilman was preaching about tithing. We both involuntarily laughed when he said you should pay just a little bit more than 10% of gross income just to be safe.

He was totally serious and didn't enjoy our laughter. It was so spontaneous you could hear it across the chapel.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2013 04:21PM by 8thgeneration.

We had a schizophrenic Ward member who would get up and ramble on and on about anything and everything ad nauseum until the Bishop would ask him to stop. I was a teen at the time and sat with my two younger brothers. We could not control our laughter. It was so funny that in such a solemn setting that you'd hear such utter non-sense that had nothing to do with TSCC or any of its teachings.

Never accidentally!

It is hard not to look disgusted or make sighs of protest by accident. I have to really concentrated not to. I look around a lot to see if there is anyone who thinks what was just said was ridiculous but so far haven't found anyone. I've been staying away and not attending the past month. I am exmormon and try fighting the urge to appease family by staying home.
I'm sure my face, shaking my head and looking annoyed is noticed. My face has never been a good liar.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2013 05:39PM by snuckafoodberry.

If someone told a joke I would laugh, but sacrament was like torture for me.

I hated it and everyone in the room.

I hated Relief Society the most. Like Sacrament Meeting oozing with even more phoniness.

I always noticed in RS that we always tried to justify ourselves. The last lesson I went to before I became exmo, was how the church was first then family then two other things that I can't remember. But I kept thinking, why is church first? The girls in RS justified themselves saying that sometimes family has to go first but only if the family is in need of you. Like if there was a medical problem. That was the only thing they could think of that needed to put family first instead of church. I just shook my head.

I was always told by parents that family comes first. Even if you are given a calling that takes away time from a family who needs you then don't take it. My parents never took a calling that took too much of their time from their children. I'm glad I had that in my family. I feel sorry for one of my TBM friends who is the YW president, all her time is stressing out about each activity week or Sunday. Or stressing out about her twins and her other four kids. Or laundry or keeping the house clean. It's sad to see people you love go through this. It's so hard not to scream at them and just be patient.

FTM is open mike Sunday, right? What an awkward service I found that was... except for Brother and Sister Cries-a-lot...they were dying to go up and so excited to see no one else went up...except the lady whose English was unintelligible. Lots of people in LDS SM--especially FTM--who have no business in public speaking.

I had one of those brief eruptions once in F&T meeting when a newbie missionary stood up to tell us, oh so seriously, that he almost did not go on his mission because he didn't know what a testimony was. I'm sorry but it was just so funny the way he said it and it just seemed so typically ridiculous of a Mormon to go on a mission when you didn't even know what a testimony was. He continued to babble something about figuring it out and now being ready to do the work. I couldn't figure out why the whole chapel didn't erupt in laughter.

This wasn't in FTM, but a regular Sunday talk. The 40-something male speaker was trying to talk about service but he kept phrasing it as "servicing". So he kept saying things like "We need to be servicing each other", which had me in stitches as it was. It was when he said, "If you want to know how to service someone, get down on your knees", that I had to put my head in between my legs so no one could see me laughing so hard I was weeping. That sweet, innocent man...

I did it mid temple ceremony. We almost had the officiator going too, that was fun times. lol.

OMG! There was this old white haired guy we referred to as the prophet.

He would get up there and do a perfect impression of the current prophet or GA. He would go on for at least 30 minutes. We would laugh ourselves silly. I would sometimes take notes so we could laugh about it later. That guy was nuts. He was also priceless. I always felt like I had a front seat to Saturday Night Live when he got up there. I don't think the prophet himself could have done such a fine job.

There was a ward in the midwest I was in. There was a lady that sang at the top of her voice like a Screech owl. It was horrible. She sang louder than the entire congregation.

One FTM she got up and chastised all of the young deacons who would burst into laughter when she sang. She basically told them they were all going to hell. She informed them that she was singing to God, and he had the power to strike them dead for laughing at her.

No deacons ever died as far as I know. She continued to screech on at the top of her lungs. She sang in every ward choir event. It was truly something to endure. Her singing voice was horrible. To this day I can recall the sound of it.

My favorite experience as a Mormon, was when the bride and groom burst out laughing during their sealing ceremony, and they could not stop! I was dying! I covered my watering eyes with a kleenex, and tried to control my breath, but I was in spasms. I prayed not to snort--oh, Lord, don't let me snort! I just stared at the wall.

What happened was that before we went into the sealing room, the bride and groom were laughing in the hallway, and decided that they both looked so funny in the temple clothes, that they could NOT look at each other at all. The bride was tiny, and they matrons had covered her pretty wedding dress with a large dickey collar, and long sleeves. The sleeves hung down about 3 inches below her hands. The groom was a professional comedian, and had a very expressive face. The couple did OK, until it was time to kneel at the altar, and the bride tripped on the long robe, and fell to the side, which caused her headdress and veil to slip forward and hang around her neck in front like a bib. She tried to put the veil hat back on her head, but her sleeves were too long, and she couldn't grasp it. When she pulled it up, she grabbed the dickey with it, so everything was on her head, and she couldn't see. The groom let himself smile wide, but kept the noise of his laughter to just quick, short breaths, and he had to look away. The little bride managed to kneel, and the officiator asked them to hold hands across the altar in the patriarchal grip, but all the groom could get hold of was her sleeve, which made both of them giggle again, and the officiator pulled up her sleeve and helped them, and began the very brief ceremony. Then, he told them to look each other in the eye. They would not. The officiator repeated again, to look each other in the eye, and they looked each other in the eye, and they both laughed out loud! It probably was for only a few seconds, but it seemed longer. I heard a snuffle from my daughter, sitting next to me, and I could see her body shaking with laughter, out the corner of my eye.

Afterwards, we could smile and have tears in our eyes--tears of joy--and congratulate them. When the bride apologized, I told her that my mother got the giggles at her wedding, too, when she saw my father wearing that silly baker's hat.

I would have been so much better off, if I could have just laughed at the cult, and had never taken it so seriously.

The time I remember laughing out loud then going into a fit of coughing to cover it up was two weeks before Christmas.

Our Bishop got up at the begining of the meeting and announced the ward had made 100% home teaching that month!

I laughed, then choked it up, looked over at my friend sitting by herself with her five children and caught her eye. She started to laugh, then I started to choke.

Neither one of us had been home taught, we didn't even have home teachers! She was a single head of household with five wonderful children, the eldest a Jr in High school, the youngest in Jr. High. I had a husband who'd been out of work for six months and our unemployment was running out fast.

We'd caught the Bishop in an outright lie! Too bad we didn't have the sense to leave the TSCC then.

A young boy probably about 9-10 years old got up and let the ward know that he had a testimony of the Holy Ghost. Why? Because the HG helped him find his pants. He asked his mom, she didn't know where they were, he couldn't find them. So he prayed. They were in his shirt drawer!

It was quite funny and you could feel the mass of people in the chapel trying not to laugh. At least his mom didn't lose her car keys...

At a Catholic Wedding:

My exmo brothers, a friend and I were the worst dressed in the chapel.

Snickering turned into horse laughs as we exited the packed house as the bride walked down the aisle.

All heads turned to the back to see us exit.

Of course, we were first in line at the keg afterward....

WE had a guy get up and bear his testimony about the ability to become gods and rule planets of our own. He went on and on about how we are the chossen ones and if we live right then....Blah, blah, blah... Anyway, I giggled as I watched the bishopic squirm in there seats and glance at their watches. They were looking at each other as in, "how do we get this guy to shut up?" The best part was...it was the bishops brother (who was known to be a bit strange).

FTM = evidence of dementia

(I know it harsh, but I used to think that, even when I was TBM. Especially about the old ladies who couldn't speak without sobbing.)

Please, please, please, somebody record this some Sunday.

In college my roommate & I got a case of the "giggles" during fast & testimony meeting. First a girl goes up and thanks the bishop for his blessing for her period. What?!? Then a couple goes up who was recently married and bore their testimony of how fun sex was. (This was a singles ward.) I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Then another girl got up and talked about her brain surgery and that she had the piece of brain in a jar at home if anyone wanted to see it after church. We were crying trying to hold in our laughter at the all the "testimonies." It was especially hard during the closing prayer, because if one of us heard the other squeak during the silence, it was just too much to bear. We ran out right after the amen to let it all out outside, and hoped no one noticed, but a lot of people were turning their heads when we snickered. Best FTM ever.