Story about a cow and a dead Mormon boy who won't ever make it to his mission.


http://www.lds.org/new-era/1980/04/magdalena-katalena-hoopensteiner-walleniner-hokum-mokum-pokum-was-her-name

Pay La Alol

What a downer story. Not sure what the lesson was supposed to be? Or was there one? (Maybe aspire to be as good as our friends because we suck?) Was it just meant to be a downer? The writing isn't too bad though...

I like John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith better.

I was thinking it was about the boy losing his young lover. The recurrent wrestling was a clue, and by the time I got to him remembering his friend shirtless in cut-off jeans, I was pretty sure.

Way too much sexual tension between Dave and the cows, and Dave and the milk, and Dave and the oar. And her lips stuck out like two big wieners, and she used them around the house like vacuum cleaners?! OMG, LOL. Whatever were they trying to accomplish?



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2013 03:43AM by munchybotaz.

"trying to lose himself in the rhythm of the tug, tug, tug, squirt, squirt."
Hoo boy.

Oh my word, why didn't I realize all this when I was reading it. LOL!!!!

Welcome to the gutter, my friends, where it's warm, wet and VERY slippery!

I nearly choked on my grape just now...

In reference to the story above at: http://www.lds.org/new-era/1980/04/magdalena-katalena-hoopensteiner-walleniner-hokum-mokum-pokum-was-her-name

How could this be in the Ensign? It's a stupid article. I read it and remembered where all the quoted silly lyrics originated.

Here's a bit of trivia history:

I remember back in the late 1960's-early 1970's some of my siblings came back from their annual Mormon summer girl's camp. They would goof-off around the house, or in the car and would sing the songs they had learned from their inspired week in the mountains. One such song was a ridiculous tune that made no sense -- and those phrases have stuck with me ever since. I can still sing the tune.

<Verse>
She had two hairs on the top of her head,
One was a-live and the o-ther was dead.

<Chorus>
Sing-a Rat-a-len-a, Kat-a-len-a, hoo-pen-stein-er wal-len,
Sing-a ho-kum, mo-kum, po-kum was her name.

<Verse>
She had two lips like a hot dog wien-er,
She used them like a vac-uum clean-er.

<Chorus>
Sing-a Rat-a-len-a, Kat-a-len-a, hoo-pen-stein-er wal-len,
Sing-a ho-kum, mo-kum, po-kum was her name.

<Verse>
She had two teeth in the front of her mouth,
One point-ed north and the o-ther point-ed south.

<Chorus>
Sing-a Rat-a-len-a, Kat-a-len-a, hoo-pen-stein-er wal-len,
Sing-a ho-kum, mo-kum, po-kum was her name.

<Verse>
She had two hips like bat-tle ships,
One stood still while the o-ther took dips. (not quoted in the Ensign article above)

<Chorus>
Sing-a Rat-a-len-a, Kat-a-len-a, hoo-pen-stein-er wal-len,
Sing-a ho-kum, mo-kum, po-kum was her name.

EDIT: I think the correlation of all church material (even appropriate camp songs) eventually sunk this tune and replaced it with "Follow the Profit." Back in those days the Morg's scripted indoctrination procedures hadn't really taken shape. Those were the good ole days when "crazy" was fun at church.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2013 11:49AM by jiminycricket.

You didn't remember these ones?


She had a neck like a ten foot pole,
right in the middle was a big black mole.


She had two feet like a bathroom mat,
how do you suppose she got like that?


What about the old playground favorite:

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts.......

Nope. Don't remember those two verses.

Please don't make me memorize any more !!!

Unless, of course we create a few new verses and a new chorus about the Morg's big hoax? Now those would be lyrics that make sense.

Pointless, unnecessary purple prose, such as "he leaned his loose blond hair against the cow's tight black and white hair"... what? Cows have tight hair, and Dave forgot to put his into its usual ponytail? Of course the kid was blond. I'm surprised the writer neglected to mention his sparkly white skin. Yes, I noticed all the sexual tension throughout. Dave liked to hold to the Rod, I'll bet. And crying is bad, shameful, after yout best friend dies? No wonder Mormon kids are so emotionally constipated.

In 1985, Parry began working for the National Center for Constitutional Studies (NCCS), a non-profit constitutionalist organization founded by faith-based political theorist W. Cleon Skousen. Parry performed writing and editing duties for the Center's publications. It was during this time that he co-authored The Real George Washington, a biography of President George Washington published in 1991, written with Skousen and Andrew M. Allison, which coincides with the NCCS's view that the founding of the United States was a divine miracle. Political commentator Glenn Beck has recommended this book numerous times, causing it to have a resurgence in popularity starting in 2008.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2013 07:10PM by Jerry the Aspousetate.