Ugh. The holidays. Mom and I decided to spend them together without any fanfare. If the fandamily want to see us they are welcome but we aren't sending any invitations. Mom has the advantage at being able to fall asleep right in front of them because age 87 gives her special privileges. Wish I had that luxury.

Yes, yes, yes! I wish I could afford to (and talk my spouse into) just taking a cruise during Christmas. I tried once... he acted like I had just told him that I was joining a nudist colony. <sigh>

I assume you mean he wouldn't be thrilled by the nudist colony news. ;)

Indeed, squeebee. Picture the most uptight and repressed TBM you've ever met, then multiply it by a thousand and stick him in the Bible Belt... that's my husband.

I think one of the strongest proofs that there's no divine assistance for members is the constant story of the prudes get married to the non-prudes. There's so many varieties of "where were you when I was single" being told that it's impossible for the spirit to be guiding any pairings.

And I would love to do a cruise for Christmas.

Yes.

I saw egg nog being stocked at the grocery store and instantly felt a cloud of dread accumulate over my head. It has been with me ever since.

It'll be strange for me this year. See, Hanukkah starts the night before Thanksgiving (Thanksgivukkah, anyone?), and I won't even be on the continent. The past few years, I've been buying the turkey to have at my sister's place (I buy the food - she cooks it). It's never been a problem getting together with my sister's family, but I just have to make sure I don't get there TOO early (never before noon).

This year, I'll be in Northern Ireland and I'm not even sure what I'll be eating on Thanksgiving! This much, however, I do know - I'll probably be enjoying it with another me (someone with the same name as me who lives in Belfast).

I was in Scotland last year on Thanksgiving… Will be in Texas this year, though my mom wanted me to go home to Virginia. Too expensive and too much drama.

The holidays used to put me in a shame spiral.

Since I left the morg and have created my own family, that cloud of ugliness has been lifted. 100%.

I am not a fan of thanksgiving dinner food items. So that made it all the worse. Depressing food and people. The food is the same, as most people really like it, but the company has changed and I enjoy it now.

Hey, I dont like Thanksgiving food either!! I was always the only one in my family and even my husband thinks its kinda crazy.

Hell no. I used to get so depressed around the holidays if I wasn't going to be around much family. Now, I look forward to it being ME time. Me me me me me. Well, me, good friends, good food, good wine, probably some movies, Mexican food and margaritas with friends on Christmas Eve, stealing some cute kids for Zoo Lights on Thanksgiving night, awesome Solstice party, enjoying time off work. But NO family! No drama. No being with people just cause I'm supposed to or them feeling like they have to do something with me. Bring on those holidays.

Great post.

I agree. No family = great holiday.

Nice to not have to deal with the crap anymore.

A bit....there has always been a bit of a double standard with the way we interact with our daughter-in-law, no Mormon issues here, they're Lutheran.

Ron Burr

I'm all for the cruise, or a huge trip of some sort. Once we don't have "young" kids anymore and toys don't count, I am thinking that is the best plan ever!

Oooh, what if we could get a group together and have an ExMo cruise? *daydreaming*

I'm there.

This will be the best Christmas since I left the church.

No TBM's will be at my house for the holidays. Best of all, I just got the news that my first grand baby is on its way.

Congrats!! That's exciting!

My nonmo boyfriend is converted Jew who celebrates Hanukkah with his children. I don't interfere. He felt the need last year to interfere in my celebration of Christmas with my children.

I find it odd that someone who so adamantly declares his Judaism and how it would be an affront to his son to have his "gentile" girlfriend put up a Christmas tree, but then decides he has to spend Christmas at MY HOUSE with my Christmas tree, etc.

He misses Christmas as he was raised celebrating Christmas up until he was 27--it is obvious to myself and my children. He ruined my Christmas last year for many reasons.

Now I have to figure out how to tell him to STAY AWAY at least Christmas morning. Just like every other year I've known him and he lived at a distance, he didn't celebrate Christmas, so now why does he think he has to?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2013 03:54PM by cl2.

My parents told me that mormond skipped the holidays every leap year.

I am going to in-laws for Thanksgiving and I think I may be going to Utah for Christmas! So I will not have to be with my family for either. Yes, that is completely on purpose. I decided I am no longer letting family ruin my holidays.

I've been excluded from family Thanksgivings and Xmases since 1990. It was tough for the first five years or so. Now I love it--I get to do what I want nine years out of ten. Sadly, every once in awhile I end up working straight through the holidays, and this will be one of those years.

I'm having a Thanksgiving all by myself, followed right afterward by my birthday. I am depressed and bummed in advance of it all, trying to figure out what I'll do. Go to Denny's? IHOP? Need recommendations.

Don't know how far away from Culver city you live, but this looks like fun.

http://www.timeout.com/los-angeles/comedy/ucb-thanksgiving-feast-show

Cludgie, I spent a few Christmases and Thanksgivings alone, too, and still do, when my married children are at their in-laws. I would pay attention to my dog, and take her for a long hike, even if it was snowing. Exercise is the best way to fight depression. Everyone is different, but I always felt worse, going out in public, and be that single woman alone among all the couples and families. Sometimes a movie would work, because it would be dark, and no one would see me--but only if it is a really good movie.
I used to save up the very best movie rentals for Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve, to make it a special occasion. Try to find a good movie filmed in Hawaii or the Bahamas. James Bond movies are the most therapeutic for me, and, of course comedies.

I've done charity work a few times, but I do that anyway, and it was especially depressing to come home alone, afterwards. While you are working with other people, you feel better.

Staying late at the office was actually fun, because there were some co-workers there, too, and people brought treats and sparkling cider, which made it more festive. We were all in the same boat.

When I'm very, very lonely and sad, I sometimes do some dirty, unpleasant chore--because I can't get any more depressed. One year, I cleaned out the closets, and put in shelf-paper. I was still sad--but at least I accomplished something. There was something ironic about buying shelf paper on New Year's Eve.

Enjoy your favorite foods--take-out or home-made. Eat the foods that others kid you about. I like little cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches, ginger cookies with real ginger, sweet potato fries, and sparkling grape juice, and See's candy. Give in to it! It is rather pleasant to be "that cat lady" and I make special treats for my dog and cat.

I have broken off contact with my cruel TBM family members, though I tried for a lifetime to get along with them. I always protected my children from their abuse, and my children hardly know them at all, which is a good thing. I have a balance in my life, now, and spend almost every day with my loved ones, yet sometimes long for good old solitude.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2013 10:49PM by forestpal.

I will be visiting relatives for Thanksgiving.

Age gives people privileges in my family, too. Once you hit a certain age, you can insult people with impunity. My Grandmother has been cruel for as long as I've known her (over 40 years). They used to say, "Give her a break, she's 70." The same thing at 80, then 90. The truth is, she's just a cruel person that got old.

I spend as little time with the crazy TBMs in my family as possible. I don't have a hypothesis about causation. I think they're crazy people who just happen to be Mormons.

I remember attending large family gatherings when I was little. I wish my child could have the same experience. It's too bad. Because of differing interests and geography, I don't spend much time around the rest of my relatives, either.

But I will be going to Utah for Thanksgiving. I am not depressed about seeing family. I have no scores to settle, and I can face everybody.

Thanks, also, for mentioning (forestpal) about protecting children from abuse. I really don't trust my relatives to be loving and kind to my daughter. They pride themselves on not being physically abusive, but some of them can be very cruel.

T-Bone

Fuck yes I'm scared for it. My mother in law ALWAYS brings up Christ, though 60% of her family is not even religious in any way. I hate it. My mom is also religious, but we don't live in the same state. I think I might sneak some vodka into her punch (mother in law) LOL maybe it will loosen her up.