Posted by:
brassplates
(
)
Date: October 29, 2013 11:59PM
'Round here, the traffic laws only apply to the heathen hordes of jack-mormons or the offspring of those who should've continued on to California. See, if you wear magical underwear, stop signs don't apply to you. Same with red lights, yellow lights, and gawdfobid that I get in front of someone who is a YBU graduate. They fetchin' own the road before them, in the name of McConkie, Kimball, and Neil Diamond concerts.
I've had people yell at me while walking in the crosswalk to 'get a car like most of us'. I've had drivers who have hit me in crosswalks because I took too much time crossing the intersection. In the 1970's in SLC if you hit a ped, you spent time in jail or you paid hefty fines. Now, you just read about the ped you hit in the crosswalk in the next days' paper: "Man is recovering in ICU after being struck in a crosswalk by someone who was late to PEC Meetings". Second column follows: "City considers eliminating crosswalks so that late-comers to PEC meetings on Sunday won't be hassled by pedestrians."
Mormons are immune from traffic laws in all States. They live a HIGHER LAW. They have Gawd-ah-full on their side. They have magical firesuits that make NASCAR and IRL drivers shake like leaves in the wind. They can drive 90 mph on I-15 northbound in the left lane, mid-lane, or right lane because Elizabeth Smart is so pretty, and the church is trwoooh, and God hates liberals (quietly).
Their higher law exempts them from paying taxes, having to stand in lines like the rest of us; they put their feet up on the seats in fronts of them in the movie theatres. They answer their phones during movies. They get pissed when the manager asks them to leave the theatre. "I'm wearing garments in the name of pay lay ale ****head!". Then, they wait for you out in the parking lot after the movie with a softball bat that they used at church softball last Tuesday to hit an infield double. They are faithful hometeachers, visiting teachers, and hit each home they are assigned on the last day of the month.
These are the same people who have 5 dogs at home in a kennel in their backyard. The dogs get out and shitz all over my yard, the neighbors yard, and they bark at 5am on Sunday mornings. The idiot Moron owner then yells at them to be quiet, as if by some Moron magic the dog can understand the Adamic Language the gastropod is yelling. The city dog catcher has been to their hallowed home more times than their home teacher has in order to return the pooches who shitz on all the neighbors yards. Still, the Morons keep adding dogs, cats, crows, magpies, bagpipes, and piles of doo-doo to the neighborhood because they have to have their dogs for the duck hunt each year. Nevermind that the youngest dog is riddled with arthritis and needs hip replacements.
Am I angry? Am I mad? I past those two exits back over a hundred miles ago...........
These are the same people who rush like heck-fire to butt in line at Sam's Club or CostCo on Saturday afternoons with 6 children in tow. Their club card is not valid. Their ID is expired. Their CC is overdrawn. Meanwhile, the line next to you moves smoothly and without interruption because it is filled with Catholics, Protestants, Atheists, and Cave Men from GEICO ads. They pay their bills, have proper ID's, and know when to pull out.
In more ways than one. So easy even a Cave Man can do it.