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Posted by: TBM ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 10:14AM
My testimony that the church is true

I believe a church should be a place where one feels comfortable and safe.

In the LDS church they teach a lot about "inner beauty". And how no matter how ugly of a shit you happen to be, you are still beautiful.

The LDS church also teaches about chasity and waiting for marriage to have sex. Thus successfully only having one sexual partner in your life.

With these two teachings i conclude that LDS church is perfect for those people that are ugly as sin and/or have a small penis (only having one sexual partner would decrease the opportunities of embarrassment for having a small penis).

And since i fit into both of those groups, the church is true. Fuck all of the haters.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 10:41AM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Hey, whatever floats your boat....hilarious!

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Posted by: zenjamin ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 10:44AM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Good for you and best of luck!

(if this is a genuine post)

Laughing my kabootie off!

(if this is clever parody)

Either way, totally sincere.

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Posted by: pigsinzen ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 12:49PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Haha!

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Posted by: jacob ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 12:58PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

As an average man I am super grateful that my wife is naive about penis size. She thinks I'm huge. It's a big ego boost.

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Posted by: zenjamin ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 01:08PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Very much doubt ye have a compact or even average there, sir J



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2013 01:09PM by zenjamin.

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Posted by: secular ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 02:30PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

+1, maybe religion was created to trick woman into doing the guys with a small Penis ala Joseph Smith style. IF YOU DONT SLEEP WITH ME THE LORD WILL SMITE THEE!!!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 01:12PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Sounds like you are over compensating. True of many a Mormon Penisholder.

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Posted by: rationalist01 ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 02:22PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

I really think that being a TBM dude and an RM is the path for a fugly guy to get a hot wife. This principle has been part of Mo-ism from JS himself, (who was really a rather strange looking galoot) on to the old fossils like BY, who actually bragged from the pulpit about how he could get hot, young chicks.

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Posted by: Yaqoob ( )
Date: November 15, 2013 07:20PM
Re: My testimony that the church is true

Like what's "small" exactly?

Smallish? Or like just not what you'd see in pornos?

Just curious...

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