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Posted by: confused123 ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:02AM

I told my tbm husband I'm not a believer , and he wants to divorce me because he wants the best for his life to come. We are currently separated. My family is shunning me. I just couldn't live with the lies anymore. I was hoping he would understand. But I miss him. All the time. He is the love of my life. No one compares. I've been on dates, it's not the same. I miss having a family and people to love me. Is it worth it at all I wonder. Why couldn't I have just believed? I wouldn't feel so empty and heartbroken. Deluded as he may be, my husband is a caring sweet man who has the same sarcastic humor that only we get and knows exactly what I'm thinking. The loneliness and heartbreak is so unbearable, sometimes I just wish I could end it all. It's been months and I feel like it has just gotten worse for me. Thanks for listening.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:13AM

You might think of what you've gained, but I understand how right now it feels so terrible. (((((confused123))))

Please tell me what you mean by this: "sometimes I just wish I could end it all."

There's a sticky at the top of the page for the suicide prevention hotline. PLEASE USE IT IF YOU ARE HAVING ***ANY*** THOUGHTS OF HARMING YOURSELF. Please.

Please. Call them. It helps. I know from first-hand experience.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,442199



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/19/2013 12:15AM by Beth.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:23AM

I wouldn't call that the actions of a loving and caring man. If it had been the other way around, where you still believed, but he didn't, would you have done the same thing to him? Would you have abandoned him?

You may be upset now, but you also would have been miserable trapped in a situation where you had to live a lie. You would have felt like you were living in a prison. Either way sucks. It's not an easy situation all-round.

It's new and raw now, but the older I get, the more I realize that the only way to true peace of mind is to live a genuine life.

Life doesn't suddenly become easy because you've decided to be genuine, but living according to your own truth does bring peace of mind, even when life is stormy and difficult.

Storms do end. Some wounds take longer to heal than others. But they do heal.

And some people who shun initially do come back. Some don't. Just give them a little time to adjust. It certainly has a way of weeding out those who truly love you and those who only love what they thought you were. What they wanted you to be. The ones who come back, love the real you, just as you are.

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Posted by: PapaKen ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:23AM

Why couldn't I have just been straight?

I asked myself that many times during our separation process.

I know it's different, but it's similar.

You can't pretend to believe something you know is false, any more than I could continue to pretend I was straight.

It might not help that much, but your husband now doesn't know "exactly" what you're thinking.

Maybe giving it more time is the only real answer. Good luck and know you have friends & family here at RfM.

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Posted by: BobS ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:28AM

Your TBM hubby is being jerk. He could at least read Grant Palmer's book to get to know why you feel the way you do.

I'm part of a 5th gen Mormon on the way out. I'm glad my wife is on her way out too.

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Posted by: jkjkjkjk ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:30AM

I am so sorry for this. No advice other than that which is written by Beth.

I truly hope you are ok and know that there are people out there who understand. Any choice is fine except for hurting yourself.

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Posted by: zarahemlatowndrunk ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:31AM

So sorry you're going through this. Things will get better in time.

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Posted by: grubbygert ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:33AM

"Why couldn't I have just believed?"

I've been exactly where you are (genders reversed tho) and I can tell you that it does get better

in time you will realize that he didn't love YOU - he loved the role you played - and that realization will change everything for you

i'm so sorry, I know this part hurts so bad and I know that after years of building a relationship with someone you feel like you can never get that again but... (ugh, I can't finish this sentence without bombarding you with clichés)

(((hugs)))

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:38AM

Wow that's a lot going on.

It is insidious how every aspect of our lives has/had a Mormon component in it. If you aren't Mormon, then what? But life is more than a checklist of the ordinances and duties we were taught.

I'm sorry the people in your life had such an extreme reaction. You didn't deserve this reaction. They are being atrocious.

I don't have any good advice really.

Conforming is the easy path, but then you aren't in charge of your life, you're just going with the flow of people you know. But the world is full of other people. Most people aren't Mormon. Mormonism creates phobias of non-Mormon life, so its scary. But being ex-mormon is okay, and there are great things to being unshackled from the confines of that narrow view of the world.

Please stick it out until you can get your bearings.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:40AM

confused123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I miss him. All the time...He is the love of my life.
> No one compares...My husband is a caring sweet man who
> has the same sarcastic humor that only we get and
> knows exactly what I'm thinking. The loneliness is
> so unbearable...

I am feeling so much for you right now, confused123.

I have felt exactly this way too.

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:50AM

My heart goes out to you and I am placing my virtual arm around your shoulder and telling you that you are viewing your husband and your life EXACTLY like the brainwashing cult programmed you to.

Let me be specific: they taught you that if you let go of the iron rod, you would lose everything. And lo and behold, that's exactly how you feel.

Consider me the exmo grannie you never had. Honey, your husband did not GET you in the special way you are imagining that he did. How do I know this without knowing him or you? Because he is divorcing you based on what you think is going to happen to you after you die.

The idea that the life that awaits us is more important than the life we have here is A BIG FAT LIE DESIGNED TO PART YOU FROM YOUR MONEY IN THIS LIFE.

What has happened to your marriage is that your paradigm changed when you woke up to reality--a reality that includes a bit of respect for who the individual is. Your husband doesn't have that respect--for you or himself-- or he would have said to you,

"Listen, you--I can't live without you here on earth in my life and in my bed. God will just have to look at our love and our bond of loyalty after we die and decide what to do with us. I want to be wherever you are. If you are Telestial, I'm there. If you are Terrestrial, that's where I want to be. Heaven would not be heaven without you being by my side and I don't care how many other wives I might have. Nobody is like you with that sarcastic sense of humor. YOU are the center of my life."

That's the kind of love you have for him, isn't it? YES! You are willing to stay with him even if he believes in a cult that worships an adulterous pedophile. That's saying a lot about the quality of YOUR love.

Your husband doesn't even come close. He doesn't realize that he has a woman of incredible bravery who is willing to suffer for the sake of truth. The very quality he loves in his imaginary myth of Joseph Smith he has in the woman next to him, the mother of his children, WHO LOVES HIM!

Honey, you deserve someone who values truth like you do, enough to check out what has had such a great impact on your heart. He won't even do that? Sorry, but he does not impress me.

I really think you deserve better and I have a feeling that you will wake up from your idealized version of this man one fine morning and the thought will be in your head that he never loved you as Number One. He loves a corporation.

I can promise you that if you respect your new values of respect for the wisdom inside you--respect for a WOMAN-- you will grow each day in confidence that you have done the right thing for yourself and...even more significant, you will be so very grateful that you will raise children to value their spouse and their children before a corporation.

Your children will be free. It's worth the pain you're suffering now-- Please don't give up. You are a heroine and someone I would be proud to call my friend.

Best

Anagrammy

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Posted by: jpop ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 01:21AM

so sorry your husband is a jerk. You deserve better. I thought I would mention some of the things you are missing out on. 3 hours of church every Sunday. Endless additional time commitments and callings. Cleaning the church (don't forget to scrub the toilets!). And paying tithing.

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Posted by: Cali Sally ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 11:05AM

You will also be missing out on the brainwashing you are expected to pass onto your children. By breaking the chain of mental dependency on a dishonest corporate organization you will be the best mother out there. If you have children now, you will be setting a groundbreaking example. If children are yet to come, you will be freeing them from ever having to go through what you are going through. They will be raised strong, informed, and truly caring of others. Stay strong. You already proved you have the smarts to think your way out of a cult.

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Posted by: frankie ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 01:22AM

you love him for what he is on the inside. I guess he married the church and not you. You are a person who has integrity and honesty that is what true love is based on.

I 'm sorry and I really feel for what you are going through. Please be careful and tell him you really love him. maybe he will think his decision out a little more.

You are not alone. Many people have found out the lies of the Mormon church, revealed it to their spouse. Their believeing spouse goes to the bishop and the bishops tell them to leave the nonbelieving spouse.

It really makes you wonder what your marriage was based on, Mormonism or love.

Take care of yourself and find a person to person contact that you can talk to.

This type of situation really hurts deep inside of you. A lot of people can't handle it. It is a true test to find out what your made of. Best of luck. remember to seek a true friend out to talk to besides the computer. good luck

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Posted by: zenjamin ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:21AM

First, I am sorry for this pain.
I do hear you, and so it elicits a response here because my own past gets reactivated reading of this what you are going through. You are not asking for “help” or solutions.
At the same time, having weathered these, there may be some things useful from this life.

You are cursed with integrity. You cannot lie to yourself.
It is a burden.
True integrity often stands alone.

You have been through this a million times in countless scenarios attempting to solve it and so “get” all of the intellectualization and rationalization in trying to make sense of this, but still the loneliness and heartbreak, the emptiness, the abyss, the unbearable missing is still there.
All the logic and reason on earth does not soften this because it is real. It just is.

So Honor it. Because we fear the pain, we run. Don’t run. That just makes it worse. So don’t run from it. Just be still in the now. Let it wash over and engulf , not running, but just being still, focusing completely on the feeling, observing it with intense curiosity almost as if it were happening to another you, letting it be what it is. Not worrying of the future; just in the now, experiencing this unbearable just now, observing it – both feet planted firmly on the earth, not running, being still. Just very completely focusing and observe intensely.
And you will find that there is in the middle of this whirlwind of fire, a calm quiet. There is a space around it. And there is a space around you; and one can walk through the furnace, unharmed. There is a peace even here.

So the overwhelming softens and loses its horror.

But what of the future? Can’t know that. Part of the pain, if one just looks at it very closely, is in trying to find the solution now; and not seeing it, being in worry and pain – about things that have not really happened yet, because they are not real. These are generated by the mind; and inflict pain now just as if they are actually happening already. What to do about this.

The 'trick' is to not lose ourselves in a future that is not even here yet. If we take care of the present and ourselves now, the future does work itself out – in ways that we cannot see from our current field of view. Often we are ourselves changed by the experience, and so on the other side, the Universe is a very different place; and we could never have seen it from where we were.

It is not pointless.
You will get through this.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/19/2013 02:23AM by zenjamin.

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Posted by: Ragnar ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:37AM

Now you know that you were (and are) at least second-rate in his eyes. He values the 'church' department of LDS Corp more than you. Who knows what else he values more than he does you?

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 05:44AM

You wouldn't respect your husband if he left you because you were sick, so why would you respect him for leaving you over religious beliefs? There are plenty of men who would never do that. He's not the man you thought he was.

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Posted by: The 1st FreeAtLast ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 05:57AM

As you know, Mormons are indoctrinated from childhood onward to perceive themselves as God's "chosen people." In the minds of Latter-day Saints, humanity is divided into camps: active, less-active, inactive, faithful, slothful, righteous, unrighteous, wicked, etc.

You wrote that your TBM husband "wants to divorce" you. Why? Because you're no longer "worthy", according to self-righteous Mormon thinking. The blinkered LDS perspective is that you "strayed" from the "straight and narrow path." Your TBM husband did not, so he is "righteous" and "blessed", and you are an "apostate" (so maintains the dysfunctional, ego-reinforcing LDS mindset).

Bear in mind that regardless of what duped, 'brainwashed' Latter-day Saints believe, the documented historical evidence is abundant and clear: Mormonism is a fraud, a religious scam based on lies, half-truths, propaganda, and manipulation.

There is also a lot of proof that the so-called "keystone" of Mormonism, the Book of Mormon, is a work of fiction and not what Joseph Smith (JS) disingenuously claimed, namely, that the volume was an "important and interesting book" in which "the history of ancient America is unfolded" (ref. http://www.lds.org/ensign/2002/07/the-wentworth-letter).

Documented history has revealed that JS was a serial adulterer. He targeted teenage girls, women who had never been married, and the wives of at least 11 men (ref. http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/). The man whom Mormons laud as the "prophet of the Restoration" was a sexual predator.

Let's not forget that the propaganda-addicted LDS Church has systematically misled millions of people since 1830 and taken an estimated $200 billion from them. That makes Mormonism the largest fraud in U.S. history, by far.

Do you REALLY want to return an environment of Mormon self-deception, institutional duplicity and manipulation, patriarchal arrogance, blocked personal growth, psychological immaturity, and other manifestations of dysfunction?

Again, what matters the most to you? Returning to your TBM husband, who has said he wants to divorce you (so that, no doubt, he can be legally free to find and temple-marry a "righteous" woman)?

Or do you want to be free from cultic Mormonism? You get to decide. You're the captain of the ship of your life; it'll go in whichever direction you choose.

People wish there wasn't a high price to pay for acting with integrity, but often there is. The price might be emotional, financial, or related to one's physical liberty. Or all three.

In Burma, democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi spent a decade and a half under house arrest between 1989 and 2010. The military regime would not allow her to leave the country to say farewell to her dying husband and return to her native land. She opted to remain in Burma to continue her peaceful struggle as a powerful symbol against government oppression. Her children were also away from her for several years due to the house arrest order.

South African leader Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years because, fundamentally, he opposed the government's anti-black apartheid policies. As a prisoner, he did not have anywhere near a normal family life. Like Aung San Suu Kyi, Mandela's sacrifice was really for his people - millions of them.

Of course, to avoid suffering Suu Kyi and Mandela could have cut a deal with the governments of their respective countries, agreeing to abandon their pro-democracy efforts in exchange for their freedom. Instead of caving, however, they mustered their courage and remained true to what mattered the most to them: political freedom for their people. Their resolve ultimately resulted in their societies being transformed for the better. But they paid a high price along the way.

I suggest that you take the time to carefully consider what matters the most to you. The rest of your life will certainly be affected by the decisions you make.

Best wishes!

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Posted by: Bombadilgirl ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 07:53AM

Read and re-read all these posts! They are the source of hope and strength you need. Been there! But you haven't lost everything, you have found a new path, a new courage, a new focus. Someday you will be the one helping another through just what you are going through. It helped me to keep a journal(I know ugh,) but it did help, I was able to see my delusional beliefs, fears, and routines, in a new light. I also recorded quotes from family, neighbors, and friends. Now 17 years later, I'm getting apologies from some of those who were the most vicious. It does get better. Keep looking for the SUN, it rises everyday!

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 08:21AM

How long since you came clean about your beliefs and how long since you separated?

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 08:58AM

You'll get through this in time. Take some deep breaths and have hope.

I know you want to know if these people have humanity in their souls and will come to their senses or if you'll have to find new friends and people to care. It's scary not knowing.

Have hope and know that many here do care in the meantime.

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Posted by: quinlansolo ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 09:08AM

You did not lose dignity
No longer you have to live a lie every day
White kinda one sided love is this? your husband has absolutely no concern for YOU.

I know it sucks now..You are on right track...

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Posted by: Eliza Snow Job ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 09:22AM

I commend your courage and your honest approach to life. Your truth is much more valuable than living a lie so that others will love you. If your husband's love is based soley on your confessed allegiance to a religious group and not your morality, personality, love, ect, then that doesn't sound like someone worthy of you.
I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. You will get through this. I've been through something very similar.
Believe in yourself and move forward in life, knowing there are others who believe in you as well, even if it doesn't feel like it.

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Posted by: breedumyung ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 09:57AM

Confused,

Sad... Send your post above to him, if you haven't communicated your exact feelings to him.

Big hugs...

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Posted by: slipperyslope ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 10:02AM

Wow, this discussion board is incredibly supportive. I felt better reading what they wrote to you. My husband hasn't left me but he has had extremely strong reactions to my leaving.

Someone outside tscc told me something powerful recently that has helped me in all my tbm relationships, and especially marital. It was about a different situation but fit mine beautifully.
Essentially she said: "respect the reality of others. Build bridges."
Hugs and best wishes

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Posted by: Pooped ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 10:42AM

Caring and sweet? Yet, he's ready to throw his marriage under the bus for Mormonism. Think for a moment. He is telling you he is more certain that Mormonism is true, without being willing to do any academic research, than he is that you are the most important part of his life. You, who he has lived with and seen every day close-up, is not important enough to stop and investigate the facts for. He may be sweet (I question caring) but he's very shallow. It sounds like his reasons for marriage in the first place may have been less than about you and more about temple worthiness. I think a long, in-depth discussion about what love and marriage means to each of you will open your eyes as to what he is really all about.

Just as a note, my mother joined the church after being married to my father for 23 years. After he complained about her membership she stopped going to church for his benefit. Her declaration to the bishop was that she married him first and he was her first responsibility. In your case it sounds like the church has always come before anything else in your husband's life. He has probably, unless you are converts, been taught that loyalty to the church stands above all else since childhood. That kind of lifelong indoctrination is pretty difficult to crack. Don't beat yourself up. There should be a disclaimer when Mormons get married that says, "Caution: This marriage could end if one of you finds out the truth about Mormonism". Not to be flippant but printing that on the door to the temple might save a lot of people a lot of grief.

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 11:11AM

You cannot make yourself believe something. If your husband truly loved you, he wouldn't throw you away because you don't go to the same church as him. I don't care what church my bf goes to as long as he treats me well. If he is not willing to work with you on this, he doesn't truly love you and you are better off without him.

SONNET 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

William Shakespeare

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Posted by: Truth B Told ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 11:28AM

The wise man (woman) built his house upon a rock
The foolish man (woman) built his house upon the sand


You've lost (are losing) the house built on sand.. but the bright side is you now have a rock to build upon. Its a daunting task, but brush yourself off and start laying the bricks of your new house. Many of us (myself included) have done exactly the same - we feel your pain =)


As a side note- When the reality of our divorce was becoming more clear, my ex (while uncontrollably crying) kept saying "I loved you unconditionally!!"... and in my mind I kept thinking "yeah.. you loved me unconditionally except for the conditions" hah.

Head up, start with the first brick, don't stop, you'll have quite the story to tell later.

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Posted by: tsi;m ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:25PM

You haven't lost everything. You have found yourself. That's a lot
! Don't underestimate it.

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Posted by: Glo ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:35PM

I hope you have a sharp attorney who gets you everything you are entitled to, including 50% of his future retirement money.
Let him pay tithes on what's left.

This man never loved you or he would not end the marriage over some nebulous salvation in the hereafter.

I'm sure this is very painful but not all that different from other bad business deals with Mormons that people find themselves in.

Don't remarry until your alimony runs out.

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Posted by: Mr. Neutron ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:59PM

This is a terrible idea. Revenge is not the answer. Building her own life without him is the answer. The void is in her self. He didn't put it there. The church did, and then made that void far worse with continued nonsense about superior/inferior.

I recently fell head over heels in love with a friend who did not fall in love back. I had to end the friendship because being near him hurts too much. It's not the same situation as the original post, but the hurt is just as real. He did not intend to hurt me, and I did not intend to hurt him by pulling away. It just happened. But the answer for me is the same as the answer for her. Why do we lack the self-esteem necessary to pick up from the hurt? "I've lost everything" is what I've been telling myself. It's not true. The reason it feels that way is because both the woman in the original post and I put too much stock in a relationship to make us feel better about ourselves.

The misery and contention of a legal battle is not going to make anyone feel any better. Building a life is the answer, not tearing down someone else's.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 03:09PM

Thanks, Glo. When someone is depressed and distraught they might not look out for their own financial wellbeing. Surviving and prospering might require training, education, time to heal, and time to job hunt. All of this takes money.

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Posted by: Zebo ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:40PM

Your hubby has fallen into the trap that "The Church" is more important than your family.

I don't know how long you have been seperated, but if he hasn't any love for you at all he should be able to listin to some of John Delin's mormonstories podcasts that specifically talk about the TBM spouse and non-believer and how to coexist.

If he can't connect with you through those then he really has no hope. You relationship with your children would be the next best relation to maintain.

They should be able to realize that theology or not, you are their mothre and your love hasn't changed for them.

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Posted by: BiffDongle ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:42PM

Your husband could come to realization that divorce will be very expensive. Or he could save himself a lot of money by just opening up and understand where you are and why you believe that way.

You could paint the picture that he will never be as financially successful as he could have by instigating the divorce because it devistates men's finances.

Unless he is a well paid professional, he'll be poor all the rest of his TBM life.

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Posted by: wwgfd ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:47PM

Sorry... but this comment is BS. (1) he won't be poor the rest of his life and (2) why save the marriage on a financial argument.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:02PM

those who divorce do pay a high cost that undermines their finances, usually for the rest of their lives.

Still, it's often worth the cost. I don't know about this case.

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Posted by: confused123 ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 12:52PM

The support from you guys is incredible. Thank you. I wish I could carry you all in my pocket as reminders.

It's been 2 months since I told my husband. We got separated, I think maybe he thought I was going to change my mind. He went back to his bishop and he chose not to tell me what his bishop said, which I can gather that it was to leave me. I received my divorce papers yesterday. We made vows and promises. It's a marriage. We have endured so much. When I first started my journey, I felt that it was possible to have a better life because I was living a truth and not a lie. But everyone I meet is so ugh and no one compares to what I had with my husband. We were happy up until this point. Rumor mill has it, he's dating someone else. It works out so easily for him. Is the truth worth it honestly? If life is meant to be happy and being happy is the goal, if living a lie achieves that, then why not? I feel like pursuing and choosing the truth has hurt me more. I've lost everything near and dear to me.

I have tried talking to my parents numerous times, they literally are ignoring my calls and refuse to speak to me, even when I go over. I am their daughter. I thought maybe because it was Christmas time, my parents would soften. My dad literally disowned me and told the rest of the family that they can choose me or him. They all chose him. He said I'm no longer his daughter. Is this all worth it?

Yes the thoughts of suicide do cross my mind sadly, because what is left in this life for me? The idea of it all being over just seems so much more appealing. I'll give it time though, they are just thoughts for now so don't worry. But I would be lying if I said otherwise.

I appreciate everyone's advice and support, it's invaluable. He did chose church over me. Yet I still love and miss him. I miss him..all the time.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:08PM

I think Mormons mistreat people who leave in hopes that it will force them to capitulate and come crawling back to church. That's a mean and hateful strategy.

I'm so sorry you're being mistreated by those who should love you most.

You deserve better. It will take time, but someday the sun will shine again for you and you'll be content and strong.

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Posted by: Mr. Neutron ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 03:06PM

You are so very, very, very NOT alone! Same here. It has crossed my mind.

Give it time. For now, don't be afraid to make this sadness part of the meaning of your life. It's temporary. A therapist has repeated an axiom to me that happens to be true: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Someone doesn't love you that you thought would. It's awful. Patience and walking through the day are what you need to hold on to now. Baby, don't let this get you so far down that you don't see that there will be years ahead that are not like this. Remind yourself that someday a non-Mormon man will come along who will not do this. The universe is not against us any more than it is for us.

I also like to remind myself that I'm in good company. Lovesickness is universal, and so many people you see every day have felt it and are feeling it when you are looking at them. You just don't know it. You're here with the rest of us.

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Posted by: Glo ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 01:33PM

If he already has someone else in the picture, chances are high he had his eye on her for a while.
That's probably why it he opted out so quickly.

My advise would be to make it as difficult as you can financially for him.
Don't let him screw you over.
Make sure you are financially taken are of, this is NOT a good time to be passive.

And your parents suck too.

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Posted by: Mr. Neutron ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 03:09PM

Glo Wrote:
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> And your parents suck too.


Now THERE'S where we can agree! For abandoning you, they should no longer be a concern for you. Research the work of Alice Miller to see what I mean. You should concern yourself with none of them any longer. You will spend the next few years learning just exactly how much you can do for yourself in your own mind. You don't need their money or their support.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 02:48PM

Honey, no man is worth ending your life over. And especially not the Mormon Church and its robots. This only serves to highlight how damaging that organization is.

But seriously, if you ever feel beyond the ability to cope, please call a crisis hotline. They can help you find resources where you can learn the skills to be able to cope.

This husband sounds like a dirtbag. He was probably just looking for an excuse to get out so that he could date the other chick.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/19/2013 02:49PM by Greyfort.

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Posted by: adoylelb ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 03:06PM

Greyfort Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Honey, no man is worth ending your life over. And
> especially not the Mormon Church and its robots.
> This only serves to highlight how damaging that
> organization is.
>

I agree, as I've been in that situation myself, living a lie trying to save a marriage that wasn't going to work anyway. I also think your soon to be ex-husband already has someone else, so it was easy for him to simply walk away from the marriage. You really are better off without him, and with time, you'll see that's really the case. With the way your family reacted, it shows how damaging Mormonism really is to families especially when someone decides to stop living a lie.

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Posted by: sizterh ( )
Date: December 19, 2013 04:12PM

I am sorry. Life sucks. Two years ago I suffered through a terrible tragedy. A month ago I felt happiness for the first time in two years.

I know right now life is excruciating but if you keep plugging away eventually the clouds will lift and you will find happiness again.

I am sorry you are where you are right now.

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