Thanks to my Mormon upbringing, I'm pretty cluess about finding women to sleep with.

I have an idea: maybe I can start by sleeping with gay men although I'm straight.

This idea isn't as crazy as it sounds. Sleeping with gay men could eventually lead to sleeping with women. If you're new at something, start learning the basics. Start with easy classes. Go to kindergarten if you have to.

There are plenty of people in the gay community who could give me the lowdown on sleeping with women. After I get the hang of sleeping with women, I can leave the gay community. But the gay community would be very helpful to start out with.

Several gay men have found me very attractive. All I need to do is close my eyes and jump! I might not even need to have sex with them. Maybe just kissing and cuddling would be enough. I don't want to get STDs. Plenty of gay men marry women, so it can be done. I really don't know if I will ever do this. It's just an idea. But it's worth thinking about, and it is an idea that Mormons would definitely dismiss without any thought at all.

It's not uncommon. Do it if you feel driven. Everyone needs sex.

Listen to this: years ago a friend of mine (woman) served a mission at 21, served with a guy who she flew home with when they were released at the same time. Both served honorably, no problems. They got married shortly after. Married for just a few years, he'd been acting strange, becoming increasingly mean to my friend, then finally he admitted to her that he'd been meeting random guys and sexually pleasuring each other ever since he got off his mission. He asserted it wasn't a gay thing. Just a sex thing.

So there, now I've offered an ex-lds spin to this, but all that aside, sex is such a fabulous thing. Guys like each other, straight or not, because you have sky-high sex drives and know how to please each other :-) I'm a girl, and I think it's hot :-)

Asserting that gay sex isn't a "gay thing" doesn't make it so. I have no issues with gays or bisexuals, but straight men don't have casual sexual encounters with other men any more than gay men have casual sexual encounters with women. There's more going on here than high sex drives; to suggest otherwise is to play into the farce that homosexual attraction is nothing more than a simple matter of choice. Sex drive and sexual orientation are not the same thing.

Thank you. This is what so many, like the Mormons in particular, don't get. If you strip away the top layer of a gay man, there is an even gayer man underneath, not a straight man. And vice versa.

The church operates on the assumption that the gay part is an add-on, a vice that was picked up. My father used to say it was like acquiring the habit of smoking. He said he knew it was hard, but it could be given up. I guess he read the MoF too many times. because that is the worst comparison ever.

Being the same underneath is true of many things in life, but as usual the exception proves the rule:

The good news here, is that if you strip away the top layer of a mormon, there is a good chance that there is a really great person trapped underneath just ready to bust out and grab life by the horns--not another mormon.

Make sure all are totally in the know and there is zero deception.
No one likes to end up feeling exploited.

I'm a straight guy and I would probably be celibate before I ever hooked up with another man. I think most straight men feel the same way that I do.

You sound like you are trying to justify yourself or trying to convince yourself that you are not gay.

Straight guys don't hook up with other guys "for practice". If you don't feel like you can perform well with women and you need the practice, then go get drunk, find a woman who won't be picky (there are lots of them out there) and go for it.

Let me help you out. You're not in the Morg anymore, right? You don't need to justify your actions to them, to me, or to anyone else.

If you feel attracted to men, just say so. There's nothing wrong with it.

Best wishes for your success...wherever that may be.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2014 06:59AM by Strength in the Loins.

"Straight guys don't hook up with other guys "for practice"."

What's ironic is some muslim/islamic boys do this before getting a wife. Their buddies are for fun and "pleasure". Their wives are for making babies...


Now think about how islamic societies look at gay people in general...

Amen.

I have a TBM BIL say, "we all think about it (sex with other men), right Will?" He said it was a hard temptation that most men have.

Um. No-i never had. I think of sex as much as the next guy and it never invovles a man. Never. I told my BIL, "straight men think about women, gay men think about men, bisexuals think about both."

This might be why Mormons think it's a choice. In my experience, and sexologists report the same thing, men tend to mostly just be straight or gay--less elastic in their sexuality.

Maybe you're gay, having a gay fantasy--nothing wrong with being gay as long as you don't lie to yourself about it.

I never have either. I dont see the attraction.
I dont understand how gay men arent attracted to women either.
Seems gay and bi men see it the same. They dont see how we CANT be attracted to men, because human sex drive is hardwired in, and it can be hard to see it trough someone elses brain.

Gay men don't like women sexually. They just don't. If you are female you are treated just like furniture or decorative art. They might appreciate you on an aesthetic level but have no sexual interest. You can't "change" a gay guy and get him to want you either.

Heh. When I was a teen at first I thought all girls got little crushes on other girls, watched pretty girls, and got tongue-tied around them. I didn't realize for *years* it was just that I was a bit bi.

I agree with Strength in the Loins (lol). Most people who are straight would be unable to get up (ahem) any interest for sexual activity with someone of the same sex. It would only work out if you are at least a bit bi. Also I don't think sex with a man would be good practice for sex with a woman at all. . . But if you want to give it a try, go for it, but make sure he knows what's going on, use protection (yes, even for oral sex), and state your limits.

there's an old joke which contains a lot of truth

"whats the difference between a straight guy and a gay guy?
about 3 pints (of beer)"

I dont know that I could ever have 'sex' with a guy, although - as one Phil Daniels character is wont to observe "a mouth's a mouth"

anal sex is a complete turn off for me with a woman, let alone a guy and I certainly couldn't 'sleep' (as in 'spend the night') with another male sexual partner.

I tend to believe that sexuality is a spectrum rather than a binary value, - But I think you'd have to be pretty close to the middle of the spectrum to consider doing what you have suggested

EssexExMo Wrote:

>
> "whats the difference between a straight guy and a
> gay guy?
> about 3 pints (of beer)"
>
>
Yeah, but your English. Your culture has a long history of foppery (is that a word?)

I don't know the nationality of the OP but if he's an American, he's probably gay--or at least bi.

EssexExMo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "a mouth's a mouth"

I agree with this -- in theory. If I close my eyes would I care about the gender of the person giving me a blowie? Do I need to know it's a woman in order to be properly aroused? I don't know. But the idea doesn't disgust me. And I haven't gone out of my way to test the theory.

As for practicing with guys, administering oral to your female partner is very important. You won't learn that skill with a guy.

Also, a big part of having sex with women is knowing how to present yourself, how to be attractive and seductive in ways women like. You won't learn that with men.

Sexuality is a bell curve thing, IMHO. If you don't want to call yourself gay, fine. Some call themselves bisexual. Do whatever you feel, but do it safely and honestly. When I was a teen I participated in mutual masturbation a few times... I didn't call myself gay after that. It was just an expression of sexuality that happened in those particular circumstances.

behindcurtain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> This idea isn't as crazy as it sounds.

------------------------------

Actually........it is!

It's not even like having sex with a man would be good practice, as it's completely different to having straight sex with a woman. Different anatomy, different roles etc

Each to their own but I'm with the above posters that suggest you must be at least bi to consider this.

You sound confused. Find people to talk to about this who can help you sort out your feelings without judging. It's not unusual. You need to be honest with yourself.

Only gay people have gay sex. Or bi people.
I dont have any problems with what you do wih who you do it with but dont spin the definitions; you like dudes, so what?
I had a real problem even talking to women, and i still get all shy and boyish around attractive women. I was a virgin till i was 27.
Some girls really like shy and boyish though. It becomes a matter of numbers, get yourself out there and talk to as many as you can.
Just dont lie to yourself along the way, or youre effectively lying to youre partners, and someone will get hurt.

Actually, you're only gay if you kiss on the mouth.

Are you looking for sex or a relationship? If you are looking for sex but something like what it would be like in a relationship, well you can request what's called the "Total Girlfriend Experience."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girlfriend_experience

http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/girls/articles/2010-05/17/gq-girls-anka-radakovich-on-the-girlfriend-escort-experience

http://www.sexwork.com/subcontents/whymenpayGFE.html

If you are not sure you want to be with a woman then you might want to think about yourself and what you want first.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2014 10:18AM by anybody.

This is such an ass-backwards way of getting a woman to sleep with you.

So let me share with you how nevermo men go about it. Go to a bar and sit at the bar. Buy a drink and chat with those around you or watch the game. Smile at any single women who come in who interest you. If the woman is interested she'll smile back at you. Ask if you can buy her a drink. If so, start conversing. Take it from there. If the bar has live music and/or dancing, so much the better.

"ass backwards" - no pun intended there right or rather no bun intended there?

You sound like you are bi.

Gay men are not toys for you to play with. If you want to have sex with men, go for it. We are not ersatz women.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2014 10:32AM by axeldc.

A woman I know, formerly married to a gay man, once told me that she thinks any man who (willfully) has sex with a man, is no longer really straight.

Some gay men I know would kill to have sex with a straight man. I've heard gay men say that they think straight men don't know what they're missing.

From my own experience, some straight men wouldn't consider it; and other straight men would, and have done it once or more, and they're still happy to maintain a straight relationship (some married, some bf/gf).

Just like with women, there's sex with men. There's love with men. And there's potentially a relationship with men.

Conclusion: it's complicated. Make sure you think it through with your bigger brain before you jump into bed with a man.

PS, can I get your number? :)

I get tired of being told bi men do not exist. It is just an excuse for those who will not admit they are gay. Well I enjoy sex with men, but I am more attracted to women and prefer them. That makes me bi, why must we force men into one absolute on sexuality not everyone is like that.

Haha it's not rocket science dude. Just tell her she's pretty after she's done jabbing away, tell her she is pretty, nuzzle up to her, gaze into her eyes, get a little closer, slowly lean your face in, close your eyes, touch your lips to hers, don't stick your tongue down her throat, hold her cheek with one hand, very slowly bring a little tongue in there but only if she is too, then start kissing her neck, go back to kissing her on the mouth, the slowly start fondling her breasts, then if she seems like she is enjoying herself, start sliding your hand down her pants, then if she is enjoying that, start taking her shirt off, and then

Youre a guy right?
Am i gay if that just gave me wood?
Are you gay for giving me wood?
O no, now IM confused.....

Guys dreaming of sex with other guys are at least bi.

I wanted men bad--I mean bad--by the time I was ten. You only should do something if you want it bad, really really bad, and you should want it bad enough that you don't have time to even consider which sex your intended is--you just want them, like, NOW!


Or else what's the point? Might as well go get an ice-cream.

If you can keep your hands off someone, you should.

"If you can keep your hands off someone, you should" -- that's the best advice ever right there.

I call troll on this thread...

This thread reminds me of a mad tv skit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyxqlA4rqaU

I am a gay guy and I would EVER even consider having sex with a woman.

What is the point? If you not attracted to a gender, why bother? There are tons of ways to get "practice": prostitutes, sex clubs, drunk girls in bars etc etc etc.

Before coming out to myself at 25 (while still active in the cult), as a virgin, sex with a woman was a burden that I kept postponing. I knew that I was supposed to get married and have children, but how could I ever do that?? It was not who I was. I never even kissed a girl. At 27 I kissed a guy for the first time, and it felt finally right.

Sex with a drunk chick in a bar can get you rape charges, or a whole lot of problems you really don't want to deal with.