In the more than a decade I have not followed my training as a child I have tried to put my finger on what sets true believing Mormons apart from the varieties of people one meets and lives with in one's (mine) life.

Now what I've come up with is overly simplistic and black and white-ing the issue, but it does serve for me as a general rule.

I think what sets many fervently believing Mormons apart from many run of the mill believers in some form of life after life is their preponderance to never stop believing that people can change. Some people may think that this is a virtue or something to value. In my experience with Mormons most often it is neither but a big annoyance.

Now I've ran into believers in many metaphysical things. Most of them are harmless because they often adopt a "live & let live" attitude towards those not favorably inclined to believe in their directions for non-corporeal being. Often their beliefs involve some transcendence of the here and now as if here and now weren't a "mortal probation" and that they are not parolees of a planet far away with a sun that might have a name that rhymes with "kabob."

But I have run into a few people who have told me what they believe and for whom living isn't probation as much as it is waiting for their future attendance of Jesuspalooza Forever. These are the "live & let fry" guys and they aren't trying to sell me slim cut deep fried pieces of potatoes. They usually aren't too much in my face about my lack of belief but they do not like my lack of belief in their savior who was the one from a certain time period and for whom some Romans made a kabob out of...but I digress.

These people don't seem as concerned about my here and now ways as much as they seem concerned about me saluting their savior to avoid becoming a smoking kabob in their hereafter. It is fairly simple to interact with them and they don't find it hard to live and let live with people they think will fry in the afterlife. The point is these people and people less concerned about me and Jesus can accept me and my non-acceptance of their beliefs for me. They can “let live.”

But the Mormons. The Mormons don’t seem to be able to “let live” as easily. They seem to have the biggest problem with my non-acceptance of their beliefs for myself but not in an “in your face” kind of way. They aren't in my face about it because I believe they think I have plenty of time to serve my probation and they don't seem to fixate on how my eternal life in Hell will be for me. But they seem to have big problems letting a belief that I CAN CHANGE die and in letting me live without this eternal hope in their minds glowing that I might change even after I DIE!!!!

It is almost better with Jesus freaks. At least they can give up hope on my heartless and breathless future in a fire that will never die. They are "cool" with it. They warned me. And the live and let live people - they are super cool with having no hope that I will come around like Karma in trying to escape not only this incarnation but ever other one queued up for me.

But not the Mormons. For them it seems to me to be the opposite of Alcoholics Anonymous with regards to "things that I can't change." Apparently, even if I didn't believe in Mormonism, my going to their houses of handshakes and ordering up me a true prayer to be baked in a circle with my Celestial chef's headgear would somehow still be a good thing and secure for me some sort of "good report" in the Mormon nether worlds without end. They won't let me live until I die and then they will let me live as a Mormon of course.

But most good Mormons who follow their prophet to the “T” do have a screwed up bunch of hopes when it comes to letting people live. They think gay people can change and non-believers can change despite a mountain of evidence that Mormonism is a hoax. Change is what they are all about with their worship of their prophet and his “continuing revelations” that seem to never happen. It drives me crazy sometimes. It is like their hope is hijacked into beliefs in invisible unicorns and actually helping dead people everywhere! These beliefs don’t “let live” but take on a life of their own with a “new name” and corral this form of crazy into a world view where literally everyone is eventually Mormon.

Ha ha. I liked the Christ kabob. The latest at the state fair: Deep-fried Jesus on a stick. Wine and wafer condiments. A beatitude platter. Endless bread and fish on a bed of Roman lettuce. Iced disciple. Phari-seafood. Wash it all down with Beersheba lager.

I'll take a Corn God (on a stick obviously.) And I think I will have some watered down whine. Mormons love whine but you have to keep it low on the blood of Christ.

I'd love to try some Iced disciple, Phari-seafood, and exspeshully some Beersheba!

Live and let...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7aGAIWe3uE