The following link explains that Joseph dug up the gold plates and hid them in a fallen tree:
https://user.xmission.com/~research/about/inven2.htm


This link explains that Joseph hid the plates in a birch log:
http://hismin.com/content/joseph-smith-and-gold-plates


Are rotting birch trees laying atop the surface of the earth more secure than earthen vaults protected by an electro-shock-inducing-force-field which, according to Joseph, protected the plates for 1400 years and even from Joseph himself? ( https://www.lds.org/manual/the-pearl-of-great-price-student-manual/joseph-smith-history?lang=eng )

Seems that moving the plates from a hole with a security system to a nearby rotting tree doesn't really serve a real purpose and actually creates a situation where it's even easier to locate them for no real gain on Joseph's part. I'm sure the rotting log was infested with bugs, spiders and centipedes....ew! I'd take the inconvenience of a rock and some dirt over that nastiness any day. And expert trackers would just see the disturbed rock and earth, check for footprints, stare at a few blades of grass and follow the path to the new hiding place. And even if someone wasn't astute enough to track his movements, it's like he added work for himself. He easily could have just plucked them from under his rock and gimped them through the woods to his house. Why the extra step?

And another thing -- Joseph had Joseph Knight's horse and buggy right there. Domesticated horse = beast of burden = do the heavy lifting for us. Why didn't he just take dig up the plates, wrap them in his shirt or whatever, chuck them in the back of the wagon and have the horse drag them back home for him? That would have saved himself the trouble of supposedly lugging the 40-60 LB plates through the woods himself, gimpy leg and all, plates tucked under his arm like a runningback in a divisional playoff game, juking, jumping, running, gunning for several *miles* over uneven terrain.

Note: This thread was inspired by yours truly struggling to move the 42 LB package of Fresh Step kitty litter ( http://www.samsclub.com/sams/fresh-step-scoopable-cat-litter-42-lbs/106583.ip ) from the driveway to the house with one arm, wondering how the EFF did Joseph do this for several miles over rough terrain all the while being accosted by brigands? I'm in pretty good shape, but there's no way I could put 40-60LBs under one arm and move it any significant amount of distance, and I'm not about to hang onto my cargo in a fistfight with someone robbing me at gunpoint.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2014 11:14PM by beeblequix.

I love the cat litter box illustration.

I Had a similar inspiration last time I changed my car battery.

This is hilarious! Thank you for the laugh and the highly effective explanation of just another reason why the story, and all the others like it, are bogus.

I think the juking part is especially appropriate.

lol. I had to look it up. I'm gay. We twerk.

He keystered the plates. Everyone knows he was a huge ass.

The running with the plates story has been recreated several times with weights and deemed impossible and concluded to be another tall tale of Joseph's. More on the story: http://www.mormonthink.com/runningweb.htm

The funny thing is, he didn't tell anyone that he had gotten the plates and placed them in a birch log until about ten days after the fact (before then he had only said that he'd gotten the spectacles). Clearly the story was reverse-engineered.

Why? Well, during that ten day period rumors started circulating that Joseph had gotten the plates and people started looking for them. Joseph's family heard the rumors and sent Emma to go get Joseph and ask him what the hell was going on. Joseph told them not to worry, everything was fine, and went out the door to take care of things.

As he was pacing back and forth in the woods, wondering what to do, and how to keep up the ruse so his family wouldn't realize he had been lying about everything for all those years, he stumbled across some white sand in a birch log. An idea suddenly came into his head. He took off his coat, put a bunch of the sand into it, and stumbled home - perhaps intentionally injuring his own thumb along the way to add to the effect.

When he got home he told his brother to go get Hyrum and bring a chest, quick. When his family asked to see the plates, he insisted that if anyone looked at them it was an offense against God and they would be smitten. He told them the rumors were true, that in fact he had gotten the plates several days, at the same time he had gotten the spectacles that he had been talking to everyone about, but he had hidden the plates well enough that the neighbors hadn't found them yet. The rest is history.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2014 12:55PM by kimball.

The whole story about hiding the plates and running from the
ruffians ignores the fact that anyone looking at the plates
would die on the spot. That's what he told his family and
associates to keep them from getting a good look at the plates.

I guess Joseph was just trying to save the brigands from certain
death. What a guy!