Almost all of my interaction with the LDS folks was reasonable and not a problem, except for one set of missionaries that would not stop bothering me and my husband.
After realizing that nothing I said would get them to leave us alone I made this sign and put it on the inside of the windows in my front door.

This is the sign.

NOTICE:

I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmindedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed
or any other impure or unholy practice

Enter at you own risk
Rachel, My New Name

(Big Smiley Face here!)


References:
For those that have been to the temple, this statement is from The Law of the Gospel, one of the temple covenants. As the temple is so sacred it is not to be discussed, seeing this statement on a door can be quite a shock! And humorous.


Law of the Gospel: We are required to give unto you the Law of the Gospel as contained in the Holy Scriptures; to give unto you also a charge to avoid all lightmindedness, loud laughter, evil speaking of the Lord's anointed, the taking of the name of God in vain, and every other unholy and impure practice, and to cause you to receive these by covenant.

REST HERE:
http://www.lds4u.com/lesson5/templecovenants.htm


I should add that my husband and two of our "kids" had been missionaries. They didn't approve of the inappropriate behavior of this set of missionaries either.


Background:
Hubby was a bit annoyed with the pestering missionaries and told me to "take care of it" when they called. So I did. One in particular would call when he was busy and demand to speak to him because they claimed they wanted a ride to and from an appointment and wouldn't accept my answer, that my husband was busy and couldn't help them anyhow.(We were both long retired and had health issues.)

Besides, they had bikes, it was nice weather, they could ride there in just a few minutes and I told them that. Even gave them directions. But, they had a lot of excuses about how that wouldn't work. For some reason, they had the idea that they could call my husband anytime they wanted a ride and he would stop what he was doing (or leave work) and help them. That was not going to happen.

My hubby saw the sign, thought it was a little bit extreme, but I only used it once - just a few days-- until those missionaries came back again, which I knew they would. Then I took it down because it fulfilled it's purpose and I had a good laugh! :-) I threw it away years ago.

There you are.

Got down to
"Avoid loud laughter"
and loudly cracked up!

I love it!

Wait for them to come to the door and when you answer the door you make them go through the veil routine to gain entrance.

"What is wanted?"...

"Elder Doofus having been true and faithful desires to converse with SuzieQ#1 through the veil"

...

This could be quite funny on a hidden camera show in Utah. Anytime a set of missionaries tries to talk to the poor overtracted non members, they get answered with "What is wanted?" Love to see their expressions.

Only Mormons would "get it," and naturally, most of them would be outraged.

So many wonderful "pokes" at Mormons - and normal people would just look at it and say, "HUH??"

I've never been through the temple, I stopped drinking the kool-aid before that point. But...no loud laughter? Really?!?

Yep, only semi-soft laughter is allowed when a GA tells a funny at general conference.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2014 01:00PM by Leaving.

Make sure there are upside down pictures of JS and Angel MoronI on the veil and have the various symbolic cuts be on the wrong side and upside down. That will add to the shock when they come to the door and you say "What is Wanted?"

There must not be many people at this veil in the CK since they have to ask every time what is wanted. Does the Mo God have Alzheimer's disease, dementia, or just a real bad memory? If the dead person is standing at that veil, they want the same thing as all other dead people at that same veil right? SO why keep asking? Nobody who isn't already on the great TBM CK list is going to be at that veil, DUH!!
Of course I guess they need to be sure each dead person remembers their Temple name (out of the 20 or so names they use, a guess is worth a shot I assume), and the secret handshakes that are NOT secret. Why bother?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2014 10:40PM by verilyverily.

I cracked up to find that you can carry a big stick. Funny stuff.

donbagley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I cracked up to find that you can carry a big
> stick. Funny stuff.

ahh..yes.. there is a time for both! I have the "big stick" thing down quite well, when needed. It helps that I have a booming voice also -- !! hehe

I'll add the fun part; watching the missionaries read the sign. Unfortunately, it was not the ones I had intended it for, but it did the job anyhow.

I saw the Elders approach my house from my front dining room window where I had my computer set up. When they approached the door, I could see them, through the side of the window blinds. They read the sign and exchange looks, and comments, walk off the small porch, went back and were clearly thinking about it, then hesitate again and then walk off talking.

It was the most fun I'd had in a long time!

There is one sure way to have your wishes made known in the mission field - tell one set anything you want them to know and within hours everyone knows! Or at least, by the next day!

Nobody bothered us again!

I love it SusieQ#1. Makes me laugh out loud!! I haven't seen you here for awhile. I've missed you. Going through some loss right now and I remember YOUR strength and keep on going........

Kinda like your own MMC Mormon Movealong Card

Ha-ha-ha! I don't have the guts that you have, Susie Q. I put up a "no solicitors" sign on our brand new front door, that can be read from half way up our walkway. My TBM son-in-law thought it was terrible, and asked me to take it down. I said it was metal, and glued on there really solid, but that he could take it down if he wanted, or cover it with a "welcome" sign or street number sign. We still have it, and I think he secretly appreciates not being pestered all the time. The sign really works!

I've used it a couple of times. Someone rings the bell, and I answer the door. They start their sales pitch, and I interrupt them, smile, and politely point to the sign, and say, "no solicitors." The Mormons always say they are not soliciting, and I say, "yes you are. You want our money for tithing. Have a nice day." and I shut the door while they are still talking.

"Have a nice day." is what they all say, when you turn them down--not just Mormons, but those barkers who accost you in the Utah malls. They have booths set up in the main aisle, and they step right in front of you, in your face. If you say no to them, they start arguing. If you are rude, they sneer and say in a nasty, loud voice, "You---have a nice day.' In a threatening manner. Anyway, before someone dusts their feet on you, or says anything at all, you be the first to say, "Have a nice day." and end the conversation by closing the door, or walking off. Still, I hate being so insincere, but it is better than having one of my sons deck someone--and he's come close in the past.

Maybe there's a tee shirt we could wear, if we have to pass through temple square, or attend a Mormon function. One poster suggested wearing a huge cross, which just might work! I'd like to wear a black scarf and veil, so no one could recognize me. I get so sick of being shunned. (Veil could help ward off flu germs, too.)

Mine says "NO SALESMEN OR RELIGIOUS PEDDLERS", And mounted below this I have a silver 6X4 inch cross with a huge clove of garlic. Ya, seems crass, but I don't seem to be bothered by Morg or anyone else for that matter.

I don't want signs on my door, but I do like yours.

It does kind of make it obvious that I dont like to be bothered. The wife still has "visiting" preachers, er,I mean teachers from the Relief Suck-society,but they always call first cause they know what a prick I can be I guess.
Thankfully my wifey meets/talks to the hags out at the picnic table. Kind of funny as it is winter here along the nothern mor-dor and cold and icey as hell this time of year, but they just don't get it. Gotta get those numbers. Like on the 28th-30th each month. Idiots.