It doesn't sound like a Mormon thing. Sounds like a man who is a major social failure.
Do not waste any more tears on this-he is not worth it.
Sadly, there are a LOT of psycho men out there that will use a woman for more than just sex. He used you for validation and an a emotional punching bag.
You did nothing to make him switch from hot and cold running feelings. He was a psycho that was disrespectful and even abusive.
As for the ladies, they have probably seen him do this before and you were just another "chick along for the ride". Their behavior said loud and clear "We do not need to be nice, because you are not going to be around long." That, and the booze talking. Do not analyze every nuance of that encounter. It will just make you nuts. Besides, you will not get answers.
Here is the "tough love" part of my post. Get into counseling and process your feelings.
If you still want to be in a relationship someday..Read a lot of books on dating and relationships.
Date SMARTER. Make some new boundaries for yourself. (IE, no trips with people you do not know well.)
Always have a back up plan for when a date does not go well. Have an escape hatch. (When I was a teen, my Mom always gave me money to get home or called collect if I was ever in a situation that was going badly.)
You did contribute to this situation a little. You are aware of that because your alarms were going off and you did not listen to your instincts. TRUST them.
Find that inner voice of confidence and learn to speak UP for yourself.
What this man did was awful, but letting him keep doing it to you after all this time is now your accountability. Stop letting unwanted guests live rent free in your head.
I had an abusive marriage and sometimes I still hear the nasty things he said to me. One of the therapy techniques I have learned was to allow that ghost of him to say whatever he wanted. I actually encourage him to play his tapes of nasty things. Mentally, I nod and wave my hand.
"Yes, what else?" And the list goes. Then I ask the ghost.."Is that all you got? Is that the best you can do? What else? Did my Mother dress me funny? Do I have cooties?"
It gets on the edge of ridiculous. Then I acknowledge and say out loud. "These things NO LONGER exist. They are part of my past. They can no longer hurt me when I no longer give them life"
You are fortunate that all that happened to you was hurt feelings and tears. He could have been far worse.
Memories are just memories. We only relive them if we keep hanging on to them and giving them significance in our life.
Firelyblue, I just want to let you know that almost all threads get closed out somewhere between 30-40 responses. this is done in part to conserve bandwidth. You can always start another thread on the same topic, or sometimes (as here,) someone else will do it for you.