I'm home sick today, so I have been sleeping on and off.

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare that is Morg related. I haven't had a Morg nightmare in 18 years. I left the cult almost 14 years ago, but I haven't been able to resign. They mostly leave me alone though, but only because my TBM mother tells them to. (We are in the same stake.) She likes pushing the cult guilt onto me herself.

It started out as a regular dream, but still very weird, but all my dreams are. Then near the end of it, this older man, not dressed up in dress clothes, but in casual clothes like he is going fishing (he had on a fishing hat), shows up inside the women's restroom I'm in. The other women in the bathroom freak out. He looked a lot like an amalgamation of about three different HPs I knew when I was growing up, in both looks and personality. He said that he was looking for me, and that I was to come with him for my second anointing. I told him flat out that I wasn't going anywhere, and furthermore that I wasn't even endowed. He said that it would all be taken care of. He is acting flat out over the top, and acts like he is going to cast out demons or something. I scream at him that I'm not going anywhere with him, and that I'm not going back to the cult or doing any cult related things. Then I run off and hide.

When I woke up (this was about 20 minutes ago), I felt more sick than when I had gone back to bed earlier this morning.

That's creepy as hell! The only morg related nightmares I've had are ones about me being called back out on a mission. I'd wake up in that state of semi-sleep not fully realizing yet that it was only a dream. I'd feel incredible fear and despair over having another long two years staring me in the face, and revisiting all the hell that I had experienced. Knowing that I was losing out on another two years of my youthful, prime years caused me great anguish. Eventually, I'd finally realize I was dreaming and feel a great sense of relief.