I (the middle age woman) in a skirt with very white legs (first hot day and first sun this spring) pulled off Redwood Road in Saratoga Springs, a nice small middle upper class moron town in northern Utah county.

I had just turned onto redwood and suddenly there was debris and I saw the car behind me swerve, and was pretty sure that it was from my son's car I was driving.

I pulled off, way off for safety. But still totally visible. got out, checked all the tires, looked under the back, then got down on hands and knees, in a skirt, to look under the front of the car. Seomthing had recently come off the front of the car, a plastic piece that covers something.

Then, not seeing anything strange, I went and opened the hood. Checked, bent over front and sides seeing if I could see where plastic could have fallen off.

Nothing. Oh, and a biker went right on by even though he was 5 feet away. Now, don't get me wrong, I am sure everyone had their own stuff to deal with.

But, with this 90 million percent Mormon community you would think at least one person would pull off and make sure I was ok.

Ok, so I'm not some 20 something hottie but still.

I was kinda yelling at the top of my lungs "thanks a lot you good people"

Just kind of shocking. Happened on the freeway too in the middle of the winter when I blew a tire in a pothole. No one stopped. No police, no incident vehicle.

I grew up in Michigan and that would never fly.

What do white legs have to do with this?

People have cell phones now; if they need help they can get it as long as they aren't too far from civilization. Everyone knows this, and many of us aren't too keen to put ourselves in harm's way to try to help a potential weirdo who might not need or want our help.

If you really need help call someone or try waving someone down. If you don't look like you need help no normal person is going to stop.

"If you don't look like you need help no normal person is going to stop."

She had the hood opened, and what I remember from high school driver's ed. class is that a car with an opened hood at the side of the road is a universal SOS.

We are in the midwest, we've stopped a few times to help folks.

In my experience the raised hood is not a reliable indication that someone wants help; it's maybe 33-50%.

The exact opposite happens to me. I live in Utah County and I go for a lot of walks in my neighborhood. I've had complete strangers pull up and ask me if I needed a ride to church, a ride to BYU, or a ride to some Priesthood meeting.

I don't know these people, and as far as I can tell they don't know me. Apparently I fit the stereotypical Utah Mormon look and they assume I'm another lemming looking for a cliff.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I would have stopped to help :)

Its not the same because they are following their programming to indoctrinate others by making sure they make it to the cult assembly.

Its different than being a good samaritan.

On Maryland highways, I've never seen a woman in distress NOT get help. If you pull over, get out of your vehicle, and look at your car in consternation, someone will stop. I often see men changing tires for the women around here. I once had someone stop to help me when my car died and I didn't happen to have my cell phone on me. I was able to use his cell phone to call my mechanic and a tow truck.

I'm calling bs on this one.

That's a plot from a Stephen King movie

(Joke- sad to hear sis. Poor form.

But lds pay tithing, so they don't have to help now

So true.

Pay tithing and serve in your wards or stakes means -- we don't give a s$#@ about helping anyone in need who might really need it.

Check out the folks who volunteer in Utah and they're not LDS.

In southern Alberta it wouldn't fly either. If I see a car on the side of the road with their hood up and see someone even if they are inside the car I will usually stop. When I've had car trouble someone usually stops and at least offers a phone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/10/2014 02:52AM by Redneck Wonderland.

Sorry, we Mormon men take Jesus's instruction to help others
seriously ONLY if it's a hot young babe. Then we pride
ourselves on how we are living our religion.

I had a very similar experience in Utah County. And this was before everyone had cell phones. I obviously needed help and it was at least an hour before someone stopped. I was even trying to flag people down.

I was yelling at people, "My dad would have stopped for YOU!" And it's true. My ultra TBM father, for all his TBM-ness and kookiness, would never pass up someone he thought needed help. When I was in high school, he told me that he knew he could get konked over the head, but if he felt like someone needed help, he was going to stop and check. But he made sure I understood that the same didn't apply to me and if I was alone and it didn't look like an emergency, I should get someone to go back with me and check on them.

Same TBM dad wasn't so keen on helping his kids if they weren't "helping themself" by giving money to the church instead of using it to feed their children. Go figure.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/10/2014 10:46AM by NormaRae.

I am sure that they all think that the 3 nephites have it all under control. I once saw a woman hit a hidden curb during a heavy rainstorm and blow her tire. i had my family but pulled over and changed her tire in the rain and muck, but she thought I was weird as hell and I think she had her hand on a gun the entire time.

You need to take that "Ordain Women" bumper sticker off your car, then maybe somebody will stop to help.

I dont know, in this day and age I think you probably are not going to get a lot of people stopping anywhere in the country unless you are actively tryingto flag them down.

Primarly, as stated already its because of cell phones. If you need help and have a cell phone then you can and will call for help. Chances are 95% plus that anyone in this country has a cell phone. Also, most modern cars can't be fixed by a shade tree mechanic on the side of the road. Even though I am pretty handy with mechanical stuff chances are there isn't anything I could do for you on the side of the road if your car is broken down other than call a tow truck. Since you almost certainly have a cell phone that isn't going to be much use to you.

Now if you were trying to flag someone down and they kept going that to me would be the sign of a jerk.

When we lived in Utah this happened to my wife. Flat tire - and she even recognized the face of a few who passed by while she was stranded in Kaysville. Finally one man stopped and helped change the tire.

When we were there, just as now - we stop and offer to help. The chances of getting mugged by someone stopped is not an excuse. "too busy" to help someone who needs help is not an excuse - not unless you are rushing someone to the emergency room at a hospital.

Too many assume someone else will stop and too many just don't care. Worst are those fine LDS types on the way to meetings and 'too busy' to stop and help.

Hypocrites.

Down here in the south, most people will not stop to help you.


But there is one group who will almost always stop to help -- the true Rednecks.


Redneck men protect women at all costs. Everytime I've had a problem like you described, it was a true Redneck -- the kind who is right comfortable in a social setting like you see on the Dukes of Hazzard -- who stopped to help.


And believe me, those redneck men CAN be trusted, when they stop to help! They might hit up on a good looking female in a bar, but when it comes to helping a damzel in distress on a highway, they are the most trustworthy and honorable guys out there.

I thought you were going to say Bikers. In my experience, bikers are the kindest, gentlest, most generous, loving, giving people ever.

When I was about 21, my car blew up. I borrowed my stepmom's car for a couple weeks until I secured another car for myself. While I was driving that car home from my internship in Cleveland, the tire blew on the cloverleaf while I was exiting the freeway. My stepmom hadn't given me the trunk key; only the door key, because none of us thought I would need the trunk for the few days I'd planned to have the car. Wouldn't you know it, I'd blow a tire the very next day?

Well, dad taught me how to change a tire by myself (before he would let me get my license), but if you can't get into the trunk to get the spare and the jack, you're still screwed. This was before cellphones, but I was maybe a quarter mile from the truck stop, so I was about to hike to a phone. A semi truck driver pulled over and his wife jumped out. She was loud and pushy and told me she'd been screaming at her husband to pull over and help me. I told them I could change a tire just fine, but did he know how to get into the trunk without breaking something? He got on the CB radio and put out a call and soon enough, a trucker responded that the particular model of car I was driving had a trunk release button in the glove compartment. He popped the trunk and changed my tire for me, despite my protests that I could do it myself. I thanked them and never saw them again or got their names or anything.

This was in Ohio in the 1990s.

So I'd go with truckers or bikers as potential sources for help.

I will stop probably 95% of the time when I see someone stranded, regardless of appearance or sex or age (or white legs). The problem I've noticed lately, however, is that stranded motorists, women really, get a bit worried when I've offered to help. I don't appear threatening, at least I don't think I do, but I do approach the situation a little differently these days. Instead of getting out of my car, I'll pull over and talk through my window. If they do want my help, then I'll get out and see what I can do. I keep jumpers and tools in my cars just for these situations.

I know of other men who have experienced this as well and they don't want to stop just because of someone making them feel like a serial murderer.

Yeah, well, Ted Bundy used to pretend his car was broken down. He'd even use a fake cast or crutches to pretend he had a broken leg. He'd get some innocent, unsuspecting girl's trust and well, you know what happened.

I won't stop and get out of the car, but I might stop and ask if they need me to call a tow truck or cops or something for them.

I live in South Dakota and that would never happen. In fact sometimes when I'm out for a walk or jogging I'll have multiple people offer to give me a ride. People just stop...that's how they are around here.

Utah county men are warned by their priesthood leaders that the appearance of evil is as bad a evil.. so therefore being seen with a woman alone.. a Mormon male could be overcome by the horny spirit and hop in the back seat and jeopardize your eternal life.

hopefully next time a female ASE certified mechanic may stop
and offer some assistance.

Reminds me that my stake pres interviewing me prior to my mission ask me a specific question similar to your story.

he said: " If my wife were walking alone to home in the rain would you stop and offer her a ride home?"

I replied yes.. he said, wrong answer . An endowed male should not be seen with a endowed married woman alone.. the appearance of evil ya know.
Just like ordering 7up in stead of liquor at a business function. People will assume you are having a mixed drink.. always go for milk.

I wanted to say there's an old saying prez..... "F#&k You."

Southern exmo, I'm southern, too, and you are so right about that! The person most likely to help you are the redneck guys.
Usually somebody with a well-worn pick up truck! And those guys have always, with me, just come over and fixed the tire or whatever, like it was the most natural thing to do. there's nothing like a southern gentleman.

Years ago, when I was a sweet young TBM lass going to the Y, I blew out a tire on my way to church. (I was by myself as I was headed to ward council). So there I was attempting to change the tire in my Sunday best. Several cars filled with people in my ward drove right by; some of them waved but no one stopped. Man, was I pissed. When I finally got to church I made snooty remarks to several of the guys that had driven past. They all said they didn't want to be late for sacrament meeting and/or didn't want to get dirty.

A few years later I had a flat tire on a back road in West Virginia in the middle of the night. This was before cell phones were widespread and West Virginia had terrible cell reception anyway. The state had a government program for ex-cons, where they would patrol the roads in government cars to help people who had broken down. Luckily for me, one of these government cars came by just as I realized that my spare tire was a donut and not terribly safe for the road I was on. The guy radioed a co-worker for a decent spare, they put it on, refused to let me help, refused a tip, would only tell me their first names, and followed me for about 20 miles (with my permission) to make sure I was okay. Great guys, great program.

Ex-cons helping solitary women fix their cars on dark, desolate roads? Sounds kinda scary if you ask me. Great you had a positive experience.

These were really nice guys--very gentlemanly and professional. The only way I knew they were ex-cons is because I knew about this particular program.

I'm still waiting to hear what white legs have to do with the story.

I understand what she means, you feel conscientious about NOT having a tan. Maybe thinking a tan set of gams might attract someone to help>?

Well, for about 9 months last year I was in a caste and on crutches, right in the middle of a very, very, Mormon Northern Utah community (I had my ankle fused twice, it didn't work the first time). I have a large yard. During that time, the youth did several "acts of service" for various people. At no time was I the receipient of any of those acts. My next door neighbor whose kids routinely come over to play on my trampoline (and I don't mind) never, not once, offered to help with anything. Winter came and no one ever offered to shovel my driveway.

I have learned that "acts of service" or what some might call "Christian behavior" is not actually practiced by Mormons. They do things for SHOW, to be SEEN. If those objectives can not be met the needed service will be neglected. Of course there must be exceptions out there, but I haven't personally seen them. When I really, really, needed a little help, I didn't get it. Instead, I went out on my scooter and MOWED MY LAWN MYSELF!!!!! It was very difficult, fyi...

I broke my foot 3 times some years back and I wore one of those "boots." I was a single mother. I mowed my lawn with the boot on. The bishop lived next door. My ex told me I made him look bad. I told him if the shoe fits . . .

But I had my alternator go out in YERMO, California at 9 p.m. and I had 5 kids with me. I pulled into a gas station and this shady looking character came out of a small shack at the back of the property. All the kids were afraid. I never thought anything of it as he reminded me a lot of my oldest brother, long hair, un-trimmed beard, etc. This guy was actually homeless and the owner of the gas station was letting him live in this shack and work for him. Another guy who was just working the weekend, but who was a marine, helped out, too. They replaced my alternator--had to go buy one--and they allowed me to pay for the alternator, although I left cash for the homeless guy.

But when I was driving home with some other girls from Thiokol in Northern Utah and got a flat tire, even my friends drove by, a lot of Mormon men and not Mormon men. Thiokol is out in the middle of nowhere and most people drive that same road home--hundreds of cars. A farmer stopped and changed our tire.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2014 09:53AM by cl2.

This I don't understand. I have been stranded twice, once with a pick-up truck, and once with an old taurus. I didn't have a cell phone because we didn't have coverage at our home. In both cases, almost immediately people with cell phones stopped. One was a highway worker who immediately called a tow truck. This is northern Washington state which is known as one of the least churched states. I'm an "older" woman, but not elderly.

Clean cut, clean shaved means nothing in Utah -- they drive past you every time. Unless you have the "right" vehicle or have a "Y" bumper sticker on your Lexus.

In fact, the only helpful people we have come across in all the years living here are the ones with tats, earrings, and true Harley Davidson owners (not the wanna be Harley fake bikers) -- the dirtier looking, hardworking, blue collar kind who actually physically work for a living.

I sing my praise to all those honest hardworking men & women who stop to help just because you believe 'What goes around comes around' and you help because it feels good, not for any recognition. I consider you Angels.

Thank you!

"In fact, the only helpful people we have come across in all the years living here are the ones with tats, earrings, and true Harley Davidson owners (not the wanna be Harley fake bikers) -- the dirtier looking, hardworking, blue collar kind who actually physically work for a living."

I was going to type the same thing. You said it for me. TBMs don't like to get their hands dirty, either literally nor figuratively. If we are lucky, maybe they go home and say nice prayer for us/sarc