Yesterday I found a message on my answering machine:

Hi, it's "Jane." We are making a memory book for the outgoing Relief Society president and I would like to come by and take your picture either this afternoon, Sunday, or some time tomorrow, for that memory book. Give me a call back."

Now "Jane" is not some clueless fool with a RS membership list - she was my VT when I went inactive FIVE YEARS AGO. Why on earth she would think I'd pose for this nonsense is beyond me, like so much of what they do. And while I appreciate this RS president for completely ignoring me for the past four years she's been in office, I'm disinclined to pose for a picture. I don't know if I have a particularly stupid ward or if they are just so worried about including everyone they use no common sense or if they honestly think I am just sitting here sulking about being left out and if they include me enough, I'll be so grateful these wonderful sisters make me a part of their group that I'll regain my testimony or what but there seems to be a bottomless pit of cluelessness in my ward boundaries.

I did not deign to return the phone call.

Chances are "Jane" knows how you feel and didn't really want to bother you about the stupid photo, but the RSP was on her @ss about it because someone had a list and, filled with post-conference missionary zeal, decided to harass all the inactives one more time.

and wear a huge crucifix !

I like these ideas. When I came home from my mission my younger brother (who figured things out before me) wore an Ozzy Osbourne T -shirt. Ozzy was on the shirt hitch hiking and holding the sign that said "to Hell".

Agree to photo then flip the camera the bird.

I wonder what they would do if I borrowed my teenaged daughter's cross earrings, pulled my hair back so they were totally visible and showed up wearing a tank top. I wonder if they have clip on nose rings, although I'm a little old for that sort of look.

don't forget the temporary tattoos!

Places like Claire's and Icing have stick-on nose and lip rings. I used one to give myself a Monroe piercing (area between nose and upper lip) in a play. It looked pretty convincing.

Would you care to borrow the "I Shot Joseph Smith" tee shirt I got for when the mishies come around? ;) j/k

That T shirt actually says " I blew Joseph Smith'

EFA

Where the guy was retiring.

To comply with the request, I would have had to fabricate. At the time I had been a non-church participant for 30 years and did not know and had never met the person who would treasure my "memories."

Silly, isn't it?

It would have been tempting to write your memories about a torrid night of passion you two shared - then just let him wonder ... But I suppose that would be going a bit far to make a point/joke.

As always, I love your wit and wisdom.


CA girl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yesterday I found a message on my answering
> machine:
>
> Hi, it's "Jane." We are making a memory book for
> the outgoing Relief Society president and I would
> like to come by and take your picture either this
> afternoon, Sunday, or some time tomorrow, for that
> memory book. Give me a call back."
>
> Now "Jane" is not some clueless fool with a RS
> membership list - she was my VT when I went
> inactive FIVE YEARS AGO. Why on earth she would
> think I'd pose for this nonsense is beyond me,
> like so much of what they do. And while I
> appreciate this RS president for completely
> ignoring me for the past four years she's been in
> office, I'm disinclined to pose for a picture. I
> don't know if I have a particularly stupid ward or
> if they are just so worried about including
> everyone they use no common sense or if they
> honestly think I am just sitting here sulking
> about being left out and if they include me
> enough, I'll be so grateful these wonderful
> sisters make me a part of their group that I'll
> regain my testimony or what but there seems to be
> a bottomless pit of cluelessness in my ward
> boundaries.
>
> I did not deign to return the phone call.

Hi Jane

I am a dirty filthy apostate.

I can think of nothing nicer than being in a memory book...provided I can write some words as well

Or maybe I should just write "Joseph Lied" in black Sharpie across my forehead. That actually comes off pretty easily with rubbing alcohol - I learned that when my daughter was on swim team and the other racers would write their race/lane info on their arms. It wouldn't wash off in the water but came off easily with rubbing alcohol when you got home.

They are dreaming up reasons for 'legitimately but innocently' contacting less actives.

Probably but it astonishes me that they think I'd want to hang out with them after the way they've behaved. They've been snots and they think if they are nice, I'll gratefully accept their shows of friendship so I can be back in the group. I guess I should give them props for trying to make me feel wanted because I absolutely would not lift a finger to show them they are wanted in my life. Of course, if it's assigned caring, I'm not sure I can credit them with anything.

Self-Awareness is not one of their key attributes.....

A simple cross, not large, would be more effective and not look like you are trying to be bratty. By simple, it is a "vacant" cross of silver or gold.

It really is amazing what they will try to do to get our attention. And then they wonder why we need RfM and we have anger issues!?!?

The reason could also be that having a gap in RS Presidents could raise questions. Where's CA Girl? Or who's supposed to be in this time-slot? If you oblige for the photo it means that you do still treasure memories of being on the right path. But, now, you know, well, your choices. . . [shakes head sadly]

As a missionary we took around a 'Memory Book' for a couple in the ward's wedding in all the inactives since we were the only one to contact them.

One guy we visited said he would be glad to sign it. He wrote "Congrats, Hope the wedding goes well. Sincerely -Eager Beaver" He said they would know who it was.

I just left it on there, not sure if they ever noticed.