Posted by:
Nightingale
(
)
Date: March 18, 2011 02:17PM
I took the OP as one made in good cheer. I didn't see it as trying to stoke the flames.
As for criticism of a particular culture, I think the point many were trying to make is that there's a time and place. It's not the criticism that is the objection (as certainly RfM is a board that draws out criticism of Mormonism, religion in general, the status quo, and anything else anybody wants to discuss) but where and when it is done. Nobody says it's not on to critique Japan on a given day (as long as it relates to some point about Mormonism somehow, to be on topic) but it is obviously insensitive to do so on a thread that is focused on expressing support for the current disasters in that country. Especially in the first one or two Yuko-related or Yuko-written threads, the focus (as I saw it) was on the recent disaster in Japan and the fact that Yuko was worried about her family.
Just as when an RfM participant writes a post about a current life situation for which they are asking advice and support, it is seen as insensitive, unhelpful and perhaps self-serving to criticize them rather than offering support, so it is when Yuko is posting about her missing family in the midst of a major quake, tsunami, nuclear crisis and volcanic eruption, when thousands of people are known to have died and somebody decides to start talking about WWII.
I think it would be fine to **start another thread** on that topic, if it is relevant to RfM that is, but insensitive to do so **on Yuko's thread** (or any on that same theme of offering support to her in the midst of a horrific crisis).
For the record, I don't see anything wrong with MJ expressing his view on any country's culture. Too, that is relevant to the topics we discuss about Mormonism and its culture. By looking at similar institutions and the cultural traits elsewhere we can see our own in a different light and hopefully gather some valuable insights that help to de- and re-construct our own experiences in ways that are healing for us in light of our own upbringing and church and life events.
It's just a question of where and when. I think that is where most of the objections in this case arose. Then we get to the issue of who decides what is sensitive or insensitive and why anybody gets to call the shots on that. It's subjective, to be sure, but hopefully most of us can figure it out, here in a "recovery" place.
As for people feeling criticized or disliked or that they've been jumped on, it's worth remembering (at least in my opinion) that it can be scary to jump in and be a first-time poster here, especially on days when the cut and thrust is more lively, and that for non-assertive people it can be especially tough (whether their meeker persona comes from their natural personality, cultural programming or religious indoctrination). It takes time for people to get used to a new environment, and RfM is certainly that for those of us uber-trained to be quiet, inoffensive, obedient.
I only hope, for whatever psychological or psychiatric reasons anybody wants to postulate, that especially the new posters here generally receive a warm welcome, unless they totally blot their own copybook from the off that is, when it is understandable that they may get some flak, but still most deserve a big first chance and a second and even a third, unless they are outright trolling or preaching of course.
I remember when I first showed up here I was shell-shocked, it felt like, hurting from a series of negative experiences in religious settings, scared to post because "they" might recognize me (a totally unrealistic and paranoid fear in my case) and ultra-sensitive to comments that felt like criticism, although likely weren't really intended to be so.
I'm not saying we have to tread softly around every person and every post, but I think it doesn't hurt to at least keep a few of these realities in mind before wading in and drowning somebody who has ventured into the shark-infested waters and needs help and advice and support and friendship rather than a heated debate about a tangential point.
For today, I will offer support to the people of Japan, in the wake of their "Armageddon". Maybe next month sometime, if and as and where appropriate, I might offer an opinion on a cultural or political theme. But I won't mix the two. In my "culture", that would be insensitive, even inappropriate, and to me being inappropriate is next to the unforgiveable sin!
I'm not saying anyone at all should be like me. Just stating my observations and interpretations and hopes for how to welcome and include each other, as most of us deserve that. At least.
As for my ancestors and what they may or may not have done, I don't relate that to myself. I can be sorry for anything bad that I know about (such as British imperialism) but fortunately for my peace of mind I don't hold myself responsible for any of it. It happened. It's done. I can't change the past. I can only learn about it, learn from it, and move on in a different way, not imposing or upholding the wrongs of the past, but hopefully righting them in any small way that I am able to do so.
Meanwhile, I try to post at RfM as a "good citizen" of the board and try to keep out the welcome mat for newbies. They need it!
And a big thanks and WOW to Sus I/S and Eric for allowing us to discuss Japan's crises, really not all that "on topic" for this board about Mormonism. I appreciate the leeway. It's tough to ignore world events like this one and post about Monson or GC in the face of big, true, Life that slams us so hard, so often.
Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2011 02:22PM by Nightingale.