Original thread - http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1295212

I read the whole thread, & honestly I think this sick creep has raped & possibly molested before, & is just using these adults & the church in general to have access to more potential victims, & also to just use the adults with his fake sob stories. He sounds like a junior Ted Bundy.

Lucy, I can't tell you what to do, but you need to get out of that community. Your parents are delusional if they are putting this condition on you that you can only go to BYU. That is an extremely hard school to get into. They didn't even accept my sister for a transfer, & she had great grades & was a returned missionary. Your father is crazy for not supporting you. Is he not letting you tell your mother? Is he telling you, "We can't upset Mom, can we?" & also, this sicko rapist has manipulated everyone. You need to call him out as a liar & a rapist. You also need to tell your mom about what happened. If she shuns you & blames you & slut shames you, then you know where she stands.

Lucy, if you read this, people on this board have very good intentions in responding to you, but not everyone understands what it means to be raped or the best advice to give to a survivor. If you have not tried talking to a rape crisis hotline yet, I would strongly recommend doing so. There is a large network of people out there who are knowledgeable about what you have gone through and may be able to help you work out how to deal with the rapist still being in your community and a part of your life.

Please, please do not feel like you "have to" do anything. You do not. Please do not feel afraid that it will be your "fault" if this boy goes on to hurt someone else. His actions are not your responsibility and will never be your responsibility. What matters is that you take care of yourself, that you feel safe, and that you have people to reach out to who can guide you through what you are going through.

I recommend https://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline, which is supported by many people I know, including young adult authors who have written about the sexual assault and rape of teenage girls (one example being Laurie Halse Anderson). Take care of yourself. That is the biggest priority right now. YOU are the biggest priority, not the rapist, not your family, and definitely not your ward.

And definitely not all the people who are telling you what you HAVE to do.

Thanks abcdomg for posting the link to rainn.org. I work as an advocate for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, and the hotline is really a lifesaver for many victims.

Lucy--even if you choose not to go to police, I really suggest calling the hotline or contacting a local agency. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who understands in person, rather than over the phone. It is a scary thing, but it can be very healing.

It is 100% up to the victims that come to me whether or not they go to law enforcement. If they do, I am by their side every step of the way. I go with them to make the initial report, and if they request, I will go with them to any followup interviews. Once the case is handed over to the County Attorney, I go with them to meet him for the first time and make sure that they are comfortable with how the process works. I go with them to every court hearing and the trial. I keep in contact with many of them after the trial is over to make sure that everything is okay, and most will call just to check in every couple of months even if they have moved out of state. I love hearing about my clients that are doing well, and try to help those that are still struggling.

Even if you didn't go to a doctor, rape can still be prosecuted. Please don't let that one fact deter you.

If your family is not supportive, you do have options. Even though you are a minor, there are resources available to you. I've helped women move out of an abusive household, start a new life, get a job and stand on their own two feet for the very first time. It is scary, but taking the first step is the scariest. It does get easier.

I hope this helps. Odds are low that you are in my state, but I guarantee there is an amazing organization in your area that can help.