Sunday will mark the 45th anniversary of Lance Armstrong being the first man to ride a bike on the moon.

Armstrong’s now famous quote “Everybody wants to know what I'm on. What am I on? I'm on the moon. What are you on?” continues to inspire young cyclists all over the world.

Armstrong holds the record for riding his bike on the moon seven times before he was disqualified from participating in future lunar missions for allegedly jamming a bicycle pump into Buzz Aldrin’s spokes as they were racing to be the first to explore the top of Mons Huygens.

Armstrong denies the allegations and blames the incident on the Moon’s Quaker inhabitants who he claims gave him wiener cancer and tried to get him addicted to dope.

Armstrong died peacefully in his sleep in August of 2012 at the age of 82 after complications resulting from a television interview conducted by Oprah Winfrey.


ziller

How high am I?

This is one of the best, yet strangest things I have read in a while.

I'm so glad you came back.

Very funny piece. I had to read it twice, I liked it so much. Ha ha...kudos

Editing: I just read it again. Ha ha ha...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/21/2014 10:28PM by donbagley.

we've both won the same number of TdFrance

and I have twice the balls.

Scooter for a WIN!!

oh, and Plano sucks anything and everything there is to possibly imagine about sucking.

Go Team Stan.

The Earth is actually the Moon's moon. Everything on The Moon is _far_ superior.

Nice try. Everyone knows the first man on the moon was Apollo Creed...

Lol. I half read this while making dinner and had the thought, "I didn't know Armstrong and Aldrin rode bikes on the moon." Lol.

I think we've been shine-hah'd

Oh, please. I call BS. Everyone knows that Paul H. Dunn was the first man to walk on the moon in 1965. He preached to the Quakers there, baptized them all, and left copies of the Book of Abraham. He also sold them some motivational tapes. They paid him in moon rocks; literally dirt cheap to them, but Dunn then resold the rocks to the Smithsonian for a fortune.

Yeah, there's a letter from the Smithsonian confirming this. My seminary teacher told us.

The writers at The Onion would be proud. Nicely done. As my co-workers 1st grader always says "That's
some funny $#!+!!!"

Whatever yer smokin' I want me some!!

Ron Burr

Don't you mean 'Neil' Armstrong?

ha ha - read more than the subject line.

I once wrote something like this....it was after 36 hours with no sleep. The brain synapses were going off all over the place and I had no control of it. Kinda liked the experience but when I was driving home and the yellow school bus (and everything else) lost its color and went to black and white, I realized it was time to crash. Managed to get home without killing anyone. Score!!

It was also the 45th anniversary of my birth.

Great post, Ziller! Thanks for the laugh! ;>)

Not exactly on topic with this thread but it's also the 45th anniversary of the epic fail of smiths prophesy that man will never walk on the moon.

Kind of an exmo holiday.

Neil, Lance, so easy to mix those two up! Happens all the time! :-)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2014 03:05PM by cricket.

According to weird Als video Foil, the moon landing was fake....

..."Paris, we have a problem."

Fantastic post Ziller - one of the very best!

Thanks for the laughs

Tom in ...er... Houston ;-) (see previous post)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2014 04:38PM by Soft Machine.

Moon is fake. Made of neutrinos and held together by the "I AMs", aka satan, fakebake magnetic wave. Used to cause big bangs. Evil.

In related news, Beautiful Crissy has filed for divorce from her husband Stretch Armstrong, son of Lance Armstrong. Stretch reached the moon himself in 1976 with his very long arm. He grabbed a handful of moon which he used on the nachos he served at his bicentennial party on July 4th of that year. It was on this occasion that he first met Beautiful Crissy and saw her beautiful hair that grows. They later married, despite Crissy's latex allergy. Stretch has been spotted with Crissy's slutty cousin, Velvet, on several occasions. Stretch and Crissy have 3 Liddle Kiddles.

Plus, their Headless Moon-Snake, Recently Sold for $5000 ...

Can you Say, Pawn-er-Riffic?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2014 02:10AM by zaphodbeeblebrox.