I have not been pleased with my relationship with BYU or former alumni that are still investing in Mormonism.

Is there a large enough network of former Mormons that are alumni of the BYU family of schools?

It is a form of self-approval, but I think getting out of Mormonism with something still to offer the world is a considerable accomplishment and valuable.

It would also be helpful I think to have a collective of how to deal with the social, academic, and professional challenges of being associated with BYU while at the same time having entirely rejected the mission of BYU.

Please expand, critique, and of course encourage where appropriate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2014 05:16PM by gentlestrength.

I'm not exactly sure what you are looking for with your post. I'm a BYU alum, having graduated 18 years ago in 1996. Having checked out mentally from the Church during my senior year, I was out of Provo the night of my graduation to start my post-college life in California. I have only gone back to BYU for one brief visit in 2001.

The only trite advice I can give is this -- out of sight, out of mind! I have been disassociated with BYU, gone from Utah and have been in the work force for so long now that BYU, and my associated memories, really don't cross my mind much at all anymore...

"The only trite advice I can give is this -- out of sight, out of mind!"

Agreed. If you have any real work history, nobody really cares where you went to school.

It is unfortunate to not be in a position to enjoy the benefits, networking, and professional development that are otherwise available to alumni of most large universities. There are just too many angles for awkward conversations in what should otherwise be a normal business, academic or scientific interaction. I've even tried to plug in as a professional advisor for the students of the BYU program from which I graduated, but have found that the mormon is so deeply engrained and woven throughout all conversations (including trite assumptions about me), that I just gave up on the whole endeavor. It could be an interesting idea to form an exMormon BYU alumni network...not to engage with the university, but to network with one another.

Well, per my Screen Name, now that I am an exMormon, I do ask myself WHY did I go to the Y??? But, the answer is obvious, because I was a TBM. Therein lies the problem. You go to BYU because its a church school. Out there, in the REAL world, most people view it that way. So, you will experience your future according to people's various impressions of Mormonism. I have had good and bad experiences, with my degree from BYU. Luckily, I went to a NON-LDS, very accredited school for my Masters. And in my field, they really only care about that. So, in a way, I don't care anymore because it served its purpose-a stepping stone to my real degree in my field.

However, as an exMormon, it drives me crazy to have to tell people where I graduated from. Most of the time, I'm able to get away with focusing on my Graduate Degree and associated school. But, every once in awhile, someone directly presses me and I'm forced to say that my undergrad was at BYU. Then, I have to explain that I used to be Mormon and that is why. I find that most people don't care and we can move on.

In hindsight, I wish I had gone to ANY other University. But, that's my exMormon regret speaking.

Even as a TBM, I struggled with engaging with the BYU alumni group and BYU management society because I am a professional woman (and was single for much of that time). It was just a little wierd as the only (young) woman at meetings with a bunch of middle aged men. None of them were in my specialty so I didn't really lose much in the way of networking when I stopped participating. I now have enough work experience that people don't really care where I attended university all that much.

In my field (accounting), BYU has a good reputation so it has been a benefit. Most people where I live don't really care what church anyone attends or doesn't attend. Most people at work found out that I left TSCC because I started asking for their advice about coffee and alcohol. The only real comment I got was from one of my colleagues, a faithful Baptist, who said to me "good for you".