I ask because I've had this situation happen many times and I end up feeling useless and thinking "Why tell me anything that's going on with you if you never listen?"

A Mormon coworker was made to reapply for a job he had for nearly 20 years. He told me this at lunch. I responded, "You know they're firing you, right?" He mumbled some response that gave me the impression that he thought I was a party pooper. Fast forward 2 months: the company was dragging out the process and ended up replacing him with someone younger.

When he heard the news, he acted as if he was blindsided. Two months prior, at lunch that day, I told him to polish his resume, apply for unemployment benefits, and start networking. In those two months, he did none of that. Apparently, his wife told him not to worry (WTF?) and probably just pray about it.

He cried like a baby at work and I had no sympathy. I wasn't a Mormon so my advice was rubbish, even though I predicted it when he first told me. (Twenty-something-year-old me: 1. Fifty-something-year-old, stupid wife and stupid religion: 0)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2014 03:33PM by newcomer.

I think in this situation you weren't discounted at all. You kept the job. He got fired. It seems like your bosses thought more of you than they thought of him. Doesn't seem like a bad thing at all to me.

snb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think in this situation you weren't discounted
> at all. You kept the job. He got fired. It seems
> like your bosses thought more of you than they
> thought of him. Doesn't seem like a bad thing at
> all to me.


We had two different jobs. My job was never in jeopardy. His was and he didn't see it.

I only stated the obvious. But since I wasn't Mormon, I couldn't have been right. That's the impression I get in speaking with Mormons. I'm less of a person for being nevermo.

So, you feel burned because someone who just lost their job didn't want to sit down and listen to the amazing eggs of knowledge that you were cracking in front of them. Oh no! It must be religious persecution, right!?!?

I doubt this has anything to do with Mormonism.

Hear Hear! It sounds like he was simply in denial. Mormonism had nothing to do with it. The OP is simply massaging his/her ego.

I don't see a disconnect from your employment at all. It's tough to be with a company for decades and let go.

I've seen people extremely upset (holding back tears was not uncommon in some cases) when fired/let go even when they knew it was coming for months. (Only one was LDS at the time.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2014 03:48PM by SusieQ#1.

SusieQ#1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't see a disconnect from your employment at
> all. It's tough to be with a company for decades
> and let go.
>
> I've seen people extremely upset (holding back
> tears was not uncommon in some cases) when
> fired/let go even when they knew it was coming for
> months. (Only one was LDS at the time.)


Agreed. But this doesn't pertain here. I told him months before that he was being fired and to start preparing for it. I didn't beat around the bush. I told him it will happen.

It happened and he acted like it happened randomly. Like it was unforeseen. He wasn't listening to me. That's what it means.

My point is that no matter how prepared someone is, it's still difficult when it happens. That's all.

Yes. People don't always know how to prepare until they are forced to.

A person cannot apply for unemployment benefits until they are let go, so you cannot hold that against the person.

What he should have done was polish his resume and start networking, as you state.

However, looking for other employment is such a disagreeable task that most people will not do it until they are let go. That is not an LDS thing, it is a people thing.

The guy is an idiot if he was truly blind-sided, as you indicate.

Wow, newcomer, you don't sound arrogant or presumptuous at all.

Lack of empathy much?

Your coworker lost his job of 20 years, and you're mad because your twenty-year-old opinion was discounted?

Don't worry, you'll probably have your turn in the barrel someday. If you live in the states. Just about everybody does, that works in corporate america.

And try watching this movie again, it might help with your approach next time: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/up_in_the_air_2009/

I think he was just in denial. People do that all the time, mormon or not. I think that maybe he was successful at convincing himself that his job was safe, and maybe that had something to do with the well-honed Mormon ability to put all concerns "on the shelf".

Be glad that your job was safe.

imaworkinonit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think he was just in denial. People do that all
> the time, mormon or not. I think that maybe he
> was successful at convincing himself that his job
> was safe, and maybe that had something to do with
> the well-honed Mormon ability to put all concerns
> "on the shelf".
>
> Be glad that your job was safe.

There's no time to be in denial which is why I said what I said and how I said it. He had several kids at home and the household relied on him.

He had to prepare for all eventualities, which he didn't.

It sounds like he had 2 months to be in denial.

He's been doing his job for almost as long as you've been alive, if that helps put into perspective why he may not have seen your opinion as the most informed on the subject of your company. Most people in his position would see that long employment history as an indicator that their work is valued, and would find it hard to believe that a company they've served loyally for so many years would just toss them out like used gum . The reapplication demand should definitely gave been a clue, but a certain amount of denial is understandable. And as another poster noted, you can't apply for unemployment until after you've been fired. He probably wouldn't have believed it no matter who tried to tell him, Mormon or otherwise.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2014 05:57PM by inmoland.

It has nothing to do with being Mormon. It has to do with being in disbelief that an employer of such long standing would treat you that way. I suppose when it's happening to you it's harder to see. I've been in the workforce for three and a half decades, seen many ugly things, and there is very little that would surprise me anymore.

I personally believe that reapplying for a job you already have is B.S. To me that's as good a notice as you're going to get that you're no longer wanted. I don't play that game.

but the Mormon kids I knew seemed to never have enough free time. It's wasn't the Mormon but the Jewish kids that always had the extra holidays to get out of school...

This might be a little OT, but the organization went through a downsizing, a group of engineers were discussing the situation, some who I had supervised at one time. One person said that the organization was just F--king him over.

I suggested that the organization couldn't F--- him over unless he let them.

He had a choice to stay and suffer the consequence or he could take charge and decide what he wanted for the rest of his career.

Over the weekend he thought it over, got pissed at me and finally came to a conclusion I had a good point. He contacted someone who had offered him a job a number of times if the time ever came that he wanted to leave his current employment.

He got the new job and years later told me that I had been the best supervisor he had ever had and thanked me for opening his eyes to other opportunities in careers.

Newcomer, your advice to polish his resume, unemployment, networking, etc. is(was) right on the button. Only you can be completely in charge of your life/career.

Even if you give sound advice, many people will not take it. There's even a cliche about leading horses to water to describe this phenomenon. Get used to the fact that, Mormon or not, most people are not going to do whatever you tell them.
Feeling personally discounted, shouting "I told you so" and victim-blaming are generally not productive and are unlikely to lead to successful social outcomes for you.

No I actually feel I am worth more.