One of my hobbies is to "mormonize" idioms, expressions, and the like. After all, mormons do this with slang (i.e. fetch, shift).

For example, "whatever floats your boat" becomes "whatever pulls your handcart".

Another, "put that in your pipe and smoke it" becomes "put that in your hat and translate it".

"like flies on poop" becomes "like a mormon on green Jello", "like a RS president on funeral potatoes", or "like Joseph Smith on an underage girl".

My just told me she hopes the kids "partake" of more salad now that we keep it premade. She is being extra mormony now to make up for my apostate ways.

I always get a huge laugh out of my neverMo spouse whenever I say that...

The other one that gets a big laugh is Mormonizing the soft curse Catholics use: "Jesus, Joseph and Mary!" becomes "Jesus, Joseph and Brigham!"

Does a wooden submarine float? Instead of Is the bear Catholic?\

but yeah, I can't wait to use Put that in your hat and translate it.

Goin' to heck in a handcart.

"We have sufficient for our needs."

"Oh My Heck!"

You can show a mormon the truth about the church, but you can't make him think.

All that glitters aren't the golden plates.

Put your tithing where your mouth is.

Mormon see. Mormon do. (monkey see..)

As phony as the Book of Mormon. (three dollar bill)

As nutty as Joseph Smith. (fruitcake)

All over her like Joseph Smith (cheap suit)

Cuerlom manure.

Somewhere in these the word 'grateful' has to show up as I have heard it more in the last 2.5 years of living close to DH's family and the rest of the 14% population of Mo's in our location than I have through the whole rest of my life!

Enjoyed these, thanks.

Ha! You just made my night!

Hi.

Does anyone know of a Mormon idom (perhaps from the BOM), that expresses not to put trust in someone?

Thanks,

Davo
Yorba Linda, CA

I wouldn't trust that fatty any further than I could roll king Noah

He acts too big for his garments

If I had a senine for every time I've head that
Or
Another day, another senine

Let sleeping cureloms lie

It's raining cats and cureloms

Keep your Nephites close but your Lamanites closer

That was no lady, that was my 19th wife

I've got that covered like cap sleeves on shoulders

A watched baptismal font never boils

Can I tell you a sacred?

Hurt me, beat me, make me write bad scripture

Older than an apostle and twice as dusty

Honey, the hot moisture faucet isn't working

Early to bed, early to seminary

A penny saved is a penny that's tithable.

Home is where the Malibu Jesus is

I swear on a stack of tithing receipts

The pen is mightier than the Sword of Laban

Wish upon a Kolob

That went over like a lead testimony



And there's the old song, "Walk Like a Reformed Egyptian."

Dumber than a bag of deacons

Don’t cry over spilt sacrament

Don’t count your wives before they hatch

He doesn’t have a Holy Ghost of a chance

Going like converts to the slaughter

Neither a borrower nor a tithe payer be

Like doctrine through a goose

All’s well that ends testimony meeting

He doesn’t know sh!t from Shinehah

Knock on Woodruff

Well, that’s as clear as doctrine

He’ll really give you a run for your tithing

Pride cometh before the testimony

You want your fast and eat it, too

Hold your calls. We have a winner. Stray Mutt wins the Internet!

You bet!

Instead of the three monkeys "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil", the three mormon missionaries "see no truth, hear no truth, speak no truth"

And a couple Rattle-day Snake odd similes:

-- As welcome as a strong cigar in the Celestial Room.

-- It went down like a pair of Fanny Alger's knickers.

-- That's as fake as a Kinderhook plate!

and (inspired by Scooter above re ancient submarines):

-- Tight as a wooden U-boat.

Very funny stuff. Ha ha...

Pardon my French = Pardon my Reformed Egyptian

The greatest thing since sliced bread = The greatest thing since the 3 hour block

Like white on rice = Like white on garments

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence = The ward is always better on the other side of the street

It's all Reformed Egyptian to me!

(It's all Greek to me)

Get your walking missionary papers

(Get your walking papers)

Over my resurrected body

(Over my dead body)

Salt Lake wasn't built in a day

(Rome wasn't built in a day)

A fool and his money are soon parted

(Oh, wait. That one already IS Mormonized.)

Hat trick

(Hmmm. No Mormonizing needed)

Clever stuff and LOL.

I'll try a few:

You bet your whiskers....You bet, you loose your recommend.

It's raining cats and dogs....It's raining funeral potatoes and pig meat, again.

My hand is itching, I'm going to be rich....My hand is itching, the brethren are lying again.

A stitch in time, saves nine....Mormon time saves nuttin'.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink....You can lead a Mormon to the truth, but you can't make him think.

Do you want gross blessings or net blessings



let put hands together for stray mutt...and the crowd goes wild....