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Posted by: sd allison ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:20AM

Can't say I didn't think that was coming.

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Posted by: grubbygert nli ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:20AM

"We thank the o god for a pollster
to guide us in these latter days..."

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 08:06AM

I love a good chuckle first thing in the morning. Thanks!

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 08:08AM

Um, wouldn't you need a MUCH larger sampling?

Seems to me you would need at least 10 times that many to get an accurate view.

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Posted by: Alpiner ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 09:08AM

For simple Likert-scale or multiple-choice polls, a relatively small sample can still get you a relatively small margin of error.

I don't know what the question format is, though. If it's freeform, there are other analytical tools that can be run (ie, length tends to correspond to strong feelings about the matter, and so on). Typically, freeform answers will be evaluated with a rubric by more than one person to categorize them. However, freeform makes the statistical analysis much more difficult.

In any case, a 1,000 adult survey is fairly meaningful, particularly when one considers that there likely aren't more than 3-4M active LDS adults to survey.

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Posted by: amyslittlesister ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 10:57AM

Grubbygert just won the exmormon.org message board. That was epic.

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Posted by: amyslittlesister ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 10:58AM

Grubbygert just won the message board. That was epic.

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Posted by: marriedtoexmo ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:23AM

This is hilarious...if the Prophet is talking to God why does he need a bloody survey, what a joke.

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Posted by: spicyspirit ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:28AM

Ha. Ha. Ha. What fucking church of god has a Research Information Division.

"Let's find out just exactly how much doo doo we are in. Then we can accurately steer our efforts."

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Posted by: DWaters ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 07:11AM

And the hits keep coming lol!

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 07:36AM

Couldn't they have just perused the Ordain Women website profiles?

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 08:09AM

And just what in the fu-hell is "Research Information Division of the Correlation Department"?

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Posted by: jerry64 ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 11:40AM

They are probably also running some statistical analyses on data from Twitter and Facebook posts.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2014 11:40AM by jerry64.

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Posted by: ladell ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 08:26AM

It had better be anonymous or they will get nothing but "I love and support the prophet" pablum back

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Posted by: zombre ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 08:34AM

This is exactly the kind of corporate Bullsh*t I struggled with as a believer. Why doesn't my family/friends see it? Its so obviously not what it claims to be. Mega malls, hotels, universities, corporate holdings firm over dozens of other corporations, attorney's, official spokes people, PR departments and not to mention an obscene amount of propaganda material. Tommy or anyone else hasn't said sh*t about anything except the old lady he home taught, or how someone paid tithing and then got a new job.

How much can you apologize for such a ridiculous church/corporation?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2014 08:36AM by gazelam.

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Posted by: jpt ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 12:40PM

It's the restoration of Jesus's church. Didn't Jesus instruct us to do all those things in the Sermon on the Mount? Isn't that how He set things up? Or maybe the Great Apostasy came when they didn't have malls, condos, land, PR departments, legal teams, SMCs, hundreds of expensive temples to save dead people, hidden finances, polygamy, racism, etc....

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Posted by: Crathes ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 09:13AM

surveys such as this led directly to the major changes to the endowment ritual in the temple. Yup, glad we have 15 highly paid prophets. What a crock!

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Posted by: koriwhoremonger ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 11:14AM

What responses did they get?

But, this being the cult of Mormonism that information will never be known to anybody but those in charge. If any information filters down to the masses it will be very carefully word-crafted and controlled.

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Posted by: utahstateagnostics ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 11:31AM

It's too bad the church isn't led by someone who can talk directly with a supreme being who could answer all these questions for them, right?

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 11:53AM

Church-Cult has missed another opportunity to use their crate loads of money to help children, feed the hungry, bolster education, etc.etc.etc.etc.

Instead money is being used, once again, to ditch-save the Church-Cult reputation.

Indeed, their resume continues to be more of the same bullsh**.
CORPORATION FIRST CONTINUALLY AND ALWAYS!!!

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Posted by: Hugh ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 12:01PM

Loved this readers comment:

As a former LDS member, mother and grandmother, I often contemplate what type of woman I want to be. I see LDS women who stand up on the steps of the Utah State Capitol and boast of having a concealed carry gun permit, organize with the NRA etc. and are members in good standing. While they organize so they can hold loaded guns in their hands, the LDS Church excommunicates women who want to hold the Priesthood so they can give blessings to sick infants.

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 12:07PM

The church (some uppity up) is seeking revelation from 1000 randomly selected TBM relatives.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 12:45PM

Wow, very small sampling. Only 1000.

The LDS Church, to keep current with the changing world is going to have to make some changes.

My view is that the main problem is that the members generally don't know enough about what is doctrine and what is policy.
In this information age, with easy access to the Internet, it is easy to find the church's position on anything and everything.

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Posted by: jerry64 ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 10:16PM


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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 12:49PM

Random my whatchamacallit!!

They don't do anything random!

This will be an extremely carefully selected group.

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Posted by: My Take ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 01:33PM

They real survey should be going in the opposite direction.

_______________________________________________________________

Dear General Authority.

Honestly answer the following questions. Your identity will not be revealed:


Have you really, literally seen and talked with God?

... Or talked with Christ or any heavenly visitors?

Are you aware of any fellow GAs who have ever had a genuine vision?

If you haven't, does it bother you that you allow the membership to continue thinking you are really a Prophet, Seer and Revelator?

Have any of the GAs ever discussed the lack of current revelations?

Would it ever be an agenda item?

Do you really believe the Mormon church is true, or are you "playing the role" because you don't have the guts to come clean?

Oh, yes .... Do you masturbate?*


(*You ask us embarrassing questions, why shouldn't we be allowed to do the same?)

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Posted by: anonrit3n0w ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 01:42PM

Instead of taking a poll from 'random' people maybe they should just drop some acid or take some mushrooms or whatever hallucinogen JS dosed the early 'saints' with. Guarantee they'll get some sort of revelation/vision.

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 01:51PM

LOL. Idea:

Combine the wonderful idea of a poll for the Doofus-l5 with the suggestion that if they haven't tried the mushrooms or alcohol that ole Sleezy kept on hand to facilitate talking to ON HIGH. that it is highly recommended by their own founder! This is how he accomplished it all.

The dry spell from the Profit's lips would surely end.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2014 01:52PM by presleynfactsrock.

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:30PM

No, you see, they talked directly to Jesus, face to face, the last time he dropped by the temple to shower and change robes, and he said to do a survey.

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Posted by: charlie ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 02:44PM

Been a long time, but as I remember...
In the book of kings (OT) it is reported that King Ahab, Jezabele's boy, had driven out 300 prohets - men, women and children. The were living in caves at that point and Ahab was seeking to kill them. Prophets? Men, women and children? Perhaps, god will speak to whom god will speak to.

The brethren seeking the input of the least of these seems like a godly idea to me.

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Posted by: dk ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 03:43PM

It's a good thing the lds church has diversified into cattle ranches, shopping malls and Hawaiian resorts. It will need that extra money as wealthier members vote with their feet and leave the church. The BORING one-size-fits-all services are driving people away. Other churches allow people to pick the times they wish to attend. They also may offer different types of 1 hour services (contemporary or traditional), and they often offer a social time before or after with free refreshments. If the mormon church wants to whittle its membership down to members who will pay 10% of their income and put up with whatever crap the church throws at them, that's just fine. It can just fudge the numbers to show it's the fastest growing church.

It may also find plenty of mormons and ex-mormons attending other churches at Christmas and Easter.

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Posted by: peiriannydd ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 04:01PM

FYI Dehlin has the survey up on mormonstories.

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Posted by: jerry64 ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 10:21PM


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Posted by: Dead Cat ( )
Date: August 14, 2014 10:57PM

Where the 1000 chosen by the same revelation guided computer that assigns missionary callings?

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