Time to MOVE!

Summary-Mid July moved into a shared housing situation with a retired 62 year old man. After three weeks he leaves me a note in the bathroom, under my soap dish, telling me he wants to have sex with me and fantasizes about me. I am totally grossed out, he is dumb as a hammer, unattractive, and whiney. I leave a note stating I am not interested due to chronic pain and menopause, and also speak to him about it...NOT INTERESTED. Two days letter another note, more explicit. Talk to him, tell him not interested, no more notes.

However, he leaves his door cracked at night, when before he had it closed, and in his note mentioned he would leave it open if I wanted to join him.

Previous thread
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1346113,1346478#msg-1346478

BUT LAST NIGHT.....

I am permanently disgusted by my house mate. Now...maybe I am over reacting, maybe I am wrong, BUT last night I noticed on the tall dresser drawers some dried whitish drips of something that splashed on the front of some of the drawers. My laundry bins are sitting in front of the dresser. I have not finished unpacking and I didn't have any clothes in the drawers but one was pulled out and I had a stack of clothes sitting on the open drawer, with the some of the pile draped over the top of the drawer.

Now, I don't remember seeing these drips when I moved in. I would have wondered what they were and used some glass cleaner to remove them. Or maybe I did see them and forgot but I don't think so.

From the way the drips are patterned on the opened drawer, there was something on the top edge because the drips stop at a clean, but interrupted line. So I think this happened when that pile of clothes were there. Which mean it was ALSO ON MY CLOTHES. I think he jerked off to my underwear or bra.

There is nothing I had in the room that would have splashed a white substance. When he was leaving notes for me, I immediately thought of him whacking off to my underwear but decided I was being over the top weird. But I started to burry my underwear under the other clothes in my basket and considered keeping them in a bag hidden in a unpacked box. Gross. I am going to wash down the dresser with rubbing alcohol.

I am going to bag up my underclothes and hide them until I wash them.

Time to move. GOD, what a disgusting pig of a man. And he f-cking LEFT it on the dresser. Gross, creepy ignorant pervert.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2014 06:28PM by Susan I/S.

I don't want to sound paranoid, but maybe you should hurry.

Can you lock your door?

Please be super careful.

+1... he clearly can't take a hint... run and run fast..

also, keep records of every creepy interaction so you can go to the police immediately... someone needs to know.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2014 07:28PM by neverevermo.

Time to get out of Dodge!

Please, please get out! You are not safe. He has no boundaries.

Do you have a webcam on your computer? Can you set it up to record your room while you're gone?

The right software can turn your computer into a security system.

http://lifehacker.com/5860538/how-to-turn-your-webcam-into-a-streaming-motion-detecting-surveillance-system

http://www.ispyconnect.com/

http://www.honestech.com/main/VideoPatrol50.asp

Mnemonic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do you have a webcam on your computer? Can you
> set it up to record your room while you're gone?
>
> The right software can turn your computer into a
> security system.
>
> http://lifehacker.com/5860538/how-to-turn-your-web
> cam-into-a-streaming-motion-detecting-surveillance
> -system
>
> http://www.ispyconnect.com/
>
> http://www.honestech.com/main/VideoPatrol50.asp

Interesting, I might do this.

But also have to read craig's list for rooms.

Check it with a black light. Probably a good thing to check your clothes. You might need to bring charges against him.

I lock my door but he has a key. He did say he would not open the door when I am in my room, and he has abided by that.

When I first moved in, twice he pushed open my not quite closed door, the first time I didn't say anything, the second time I gave him the look and voice of death and said don't ever open my door when I my room. He turned and bolted into his room and he avoided me for a week (a good thing).

At first I thought he didn't have a key to my room. There is a renter in the basement apartment and the door was locked to the basement when I needed to do laundry. She was not in to unlock the door. He got out his keys and said he was not sure if had the key to the inside door (but he had the outside basement entrance) and he said he thought the key was to my room. The key worked for the basement and he said he didn't think he had a key to my room. Which made me feel better.


But, one night I came home and my door was locked. I guess I locked it in error when I was rushing out to work, since I also lock the front door.

So I ask him if he had the key, and he said, Oh, I wondered why your door was locked, you usually leave it cracked. Well, no I fu-cking don't leave it cracked, I pull it shut. He tried the door and knew it was locked before I said anything.

He went to the bathroom and gets a key from the cabinet over the toilet and tries it and it does not work, and then gets the another key and it works. I don't know if the first key was to his room, which he does keep locked (the internet was not working and I was going to power it off and on to reset it but found his door locked).

But, with the basement door situation, he deliberately made me think he didn't have a key to my room. It was not like he had to think where the key to my room was when it was locked, he went right to where it was in the bathroom.

Just disgusting. Like an animal.

This is a tactic used by some men to "mark their territory," often used by men trying to get back at a woman. It happened to a friend of mine. A young LDS guy broke in to her house and jerked off on her stuff and on the stuff belonging to her daughters. He was the son of one of the bishop's counselors and was never disciplined.

I don't know...you're probably jumping to conlusions. Don't let your imagination get the best of you. He's too old to jack off like that. Those spots could be from myriads of other sources. Don't regard assumption as fact, which is what it appears you and the other posters are doing in the above posts. People are in the habit of accepting pure speculation as a fact, and that's a lack of objective critical thinking. You need evidence before you jump to conclusions like that. It's not fair to him.

Lol, he left evidence! Reading comprehension, ffs. Smh...

Anyone playing devil's advocate on this forum is literally getting off on other people's suffering. Trolling is as trolling does.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2014 09:47PM by WinksWinks.

My point exactly..you don't know that it's evidence. Perhaps it's more accurate to say, just plainly a lack of critical thinking and "comprehension" on your part...lol

Too old!? You're joking right?

My 87 year old grandfather got married for sex. No kidding.

You think a man's dick stops working at 60?

Turn off the ED ads.

I'm not quite that old but I'm over 50.

I might have to wait fifteen minutes to do it a second time instead of five. But it still works.

Yes I do.

Trust your gut! Even if he didn't whack off with your clothes, he's still harrassing you with the notes. He may never do anything out of line, but do you really want to find out? And why would you want to continue feeling uncomfortable in the place you call home?

I would put a new lock on the door. This guy is not just creepy, he's scary.

You might want to spend the $12.99 and do a background check on him if you haven't already done so.

Is it time to call the police and report him? I'd call the police and give them your evidence and report his sexual harassment anyhow.

Then move.

Until you move, change your lock on your door or add a deadbolt.

Call the police and report what? Her credibility is already impuned because she didn't move out weeks ago. They will disregard her allegations as pure paranoia and lack of evidence, other than the fact he has a crush on her. There's no law against that. Either she gets some solid evidence or get out, it's that simple. She runs of risk of defamation if she proceeds w/ no evidence.

Skeptical

In response, I recommend:


Call the police. Find out what you can report and what is a crime: trespassing, sexual harassment, leaving personal fluids in her underwear. Are any of those crimes?
They police can tell her an collect her notes and other evidence.
I say, give it a try. They will do a background check and also let her know if she has a case against him.

Get out fast.

In the hands of the right prosecutor, a guy leaving his male issue on a woman's underwear without her consent could easily be prosecuted as sexual assault. At the very least, it's lewd & lascivious behavior.

(Also, it could carry another charge or charges if the guy has an STD.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2014 07:52PM by Rusty Shackleford.

rOMG..lol..no way. That's ridiculous Rusty. This is getting comical.

Skeptical - Please stop with this nonsense. It's obvious you're just playing devil's advocate here but we're talking about someone's safety. Re the risk of defamation if reg poster goes to the police with a genuine complaint and fear...as a former police officer I can assure you, that you are talking S***. Just stop with your crap already and keep it for the threads that don't involve people's lives being at put at risk.

Reg Poster - you are at risk. You are not being paranoid. Get out ASAP. At the very least put someone heavy (like furniture) against your door at night so you'll hear if he's trying to get in. A heavy bolt on the inside of the door is good too, but fix it on today, not at the weekend.

It's not nonsense. I will further my points. This OP posted a similar message on over two weeks ago. Lots of folks said the same thing. Did she? No. Why? From a reasonable woman/man standard she does shows no reasonable behavior, which would be o have gotten out two weeks ago. Nonsense is believing in a cult, and then using those same poorly developed critical thinking skills outside that paradigm.

Skeptical Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's not nonsense. I will further my points.
> This OP posted a similar message on over two weeks
> ago. Lots of folks said the same thing. Did she?
> No. Why? From a reasonable woman/man standard
> she does shows no reasonable behavior, which would
> be o have gotten out two weeks ago. Nonsense is
> believing in a cult, and then using those same
> poorly developed critical thinking skills outside
> that paradigm.

F-ck you.

And you don't think a 61 year old can't jerk off? Where do you get your sex education.

I didn't feel threatened, and I still don't, just disgusted.

After months of unemployment, I am working 1.5 jobs and I didn't have time for house hunting. I had hoped that the situation would diffuse.

And it might have, based on the fact that the clothes were on top of drawer and that was at least 10 days ago.

I am going to set up my laptop to detect motion, based on the link from another poster.

And you are just being an @sshole.

Oh sorry...I thought you wanted everyones opinion, i.e. both sides of the coin. Hey, uh, how come you didn't follow everyones advice two weeks ago? Just curious. why are you still there?

Skeptical Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh sorry...I thought you wanted everyones opinion,
> i.e. both sides of the coin. Hey, uh, how come
> you didn't follow everyones advice two weeks ago?
> Just curious. why are you still there?


Because I work constantly and I have to pay off bills, because I can't move things and I have to pay movers and I don't have the money. Because I just had 800 dollar worth repairs on my car and nearly lost my job because I could not get to work.

Yeah, my life is just neat and tidy. And as I said, I feel disgusted but not threatened.

I won't live in a place where I don't feel comfortable and I will move.

Don't dump on me because you have issues.

Move out as soon as possible. Do you have a friend that you can stay with for a short time while you look for a more permanent place?

It really isn't your job to give this man the benefit of the doubt. You are uncomfortable with him and that's reason enough to move out. :-)

Best of luck!

Always, always, always trust your instincts. Yes, he's been whacking off in your room. Put a deadbolt on the door until you can move out. And I would put on a good show to let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. Let him think YOU are the crazy one (and to be avoided.) Go ahead and make his home life miserable.

This is not a police issue. I don't have a lease and I am free to leave, which I will.

I came home and used 91 percent alcohol and cleaned the dresser. And now I KNOW it was done after I moved in, one of the drawers was pulled out an inch and there were some white drops on the TOP of front panel of the drawer. Too much of a coninsidence that this splatter happened before I moved in and the same drawer just happened to be opened an inch. I do know when I moved in all the drawers were shut, because they were all hard to open. Yeah, I didn't miss seeing this, it was not there when I moved in.

No, it was that sick Mother f_cker.

You are a judge and jury over this man, and you've convicted him w/o evidence. Why on earth would you have moved in with a single man in the first place. Pure speculation and assumption to make the allegations you've made w/o no evidence. You have no case. You have no evidence. You are right this is not a police issue, which means that you are with me that these other posters crying "police" are wrong. Thanks for agreeing with me. Now get out for god's sake. Get a hotel tonight, if you think he is truly a sick MF. If you spend one more night in a house where you believe a sick MF is within feet of your door, then you are wilfully placing yourself in harms way - and that is not reasonable behavior my dear.

Skeptical Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why on earth would you have moved in with a single man in the first place.

...to save money by sharing housing with people not related to you. If you've never had to do that, thank your lucky stars. The experience can range from great to excruciating and everything in between.

In my younger days I had probably about thirty roommates over the span of about 19 years or so. I generally lived with 2 or 3 other people at a time. There were three guys among them that I can recall off the top of my head. The young men were uniformly annoying and undesirable as roommates, but I never for a minute felt unsafe around them. It was a business arrangement and we all understood that. The OP has gotten into a very bad situation. I never saw anything like that. It's very unusual.

In my experience, one quarter of roommates will be great, one half will be tolerable, and one quarter will be awful. The awful ones will be inconsiderate in a myriad of ways (noise, cleanliness, guests, etc.) Roommate situations generally work better for young people (late teens to mid-20s.) It's easier to find compatible people in a college town.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/21/2014 08:48PM by summer.

yep that's why if what she is speculating has a grain of truth, she needs to get out tonight. Over the last two weeks, she should have been vigorously looking for another place to live.

I don't see the relevance of worrying about calling the police or what evidence you need to take this to court. Are you really going to stay around until you have a CASE against him?

You can try to put a dead bolt in but he is going to go ballistic if you do. He will spout how it's his house and you don't have the right to make permanent changes to his woodwork. If you do it while he's gone and he realizes you've done it while you're gone be prepared for it to be removed by the time you return.

I seem to remember this thread at least a week ago. Why are you still in that house if the caliber of housemates you're looking for can be found on Craig's List?

I don't know what to tell you beyond moving in with a friend until you can find a permanent place. If you don't have a friend who can help you do you have a family member who will let you stay for a few weeks?

You need to get out of there.

Good luck.

PUT A LOCK on your DOOR.

RMM