My little brother drives me nuts but I feel so bad for him at the same time. Right now, he is posting lines from the proclamation on the family every day. So, the first post he says what he is doing then says, "any negative or hate filled comments will be deleted" He says and does this frequently. If you make any sort of comment that he disagrees with in any way, he'll delete your post. He's even deleted me altogether because I just posted my opinion on something he said that he didn't like.

I feel bad for my bro, cause I don't think he's altogether "there" in his head sometimes. So I can't feel like I can really call him out or get mad at him. I think he should be evaluated and be in therapy, but my parents just seem to think he's a strange kid.

The other thing he does is constantly whine about "girls won't date me because I'm not an RM". I can tell he feels horrible about not going on a mission, and it pisses me off that the church pushes missions and expectations so much on people. Nobody really knows why he didn't go on one. Personally, I am SO glad he didn't go on one, but it makes me sad he thinks its such a huge deal.

I wish I could rescue him from the church and my dad. My dad is very anal about doing everything "perfect" as far as the church is concerned,and I'm sure my brother thinks he has to be perfect too. Unfortunately, I don't see him moving out of the house anytime soon due to his mental problems, etc. I wish I could just get my brother to take a break from the church and see what real life is like outside of mormondumb. Sadly,he is extremely closed minded and judgemental.

I wish I could help him, but I don't know what to do.

Just be there for him regardless of his reactions to you. That will create a bond he may need in the future. He seems to be at a crossroads. The bond you maintain may provide something for him to hold onto when everything in his life falls apart.

It sounds like he's trying to live a perfect life. I feel his pain! A perfect life is impossibe for humans. Be there for him, his shelf is probably beginning to bulge. Boner.

It sounds like he's trying to live a perfect life. I feel his pain! A perfect life is impossibe for humans. Be there for him, his shelf is probably beginning to bulge. Boner.

I don't find it unusual for someone on Facebook, for instance, to set the ground rules for the group, or a post.
I have often seen whole groups disappear because of posters not following the ground rules.

I delete people who are negative and nasty and don't contribute to the discussion in a reasonable manner. I am blocked for a variety of reasons, usually for something someone doesn't like that I said, and I block people who name call, and fill my space with negativity.

I am more interested in getting rid of negativity in all forms in my life. It's totally useless.

There are plenty of functions that are available on blogs, Facebook, and other social media to control what you want in your life.

I don't see anything problematic about setting ground rules. It's done all the time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/03/2014 12:09PM by SusieQ#1.

Susie, I don't have a problem with it usually either. It's his page and he can do what he wants.

I just think its sad that he won't even let other people have their opinions, he just deletes them if they don't 100% agree with his. Its not just the "hate filled or negative" comments he deletes, if anyone posts something he disagrees with, he sees it as hate filled and negative. I can see deleting comments if it becomes a big debate. But not even being willing to look at another viewpoint is a scary way of behaving in my view.

hairfanatic Wrote:
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I have taken an empowering viewpoint about how I control my use of social media.

I find it self empowering to control our own social media: FB, blog, or whatever we use.

There is no rule that someone must "look" at another point of view! I see no reason why anyone has any the right to clutter my social media pages with their ideas, especially when what they have to say does not interest me!

Social Media is full of nutters ranting and raving their point of view ! I clean house regularly!

Extreme religion combined with mental illness is a bad combination. I don't really need to tell you this. I don't mean to discourage you, but chances are he needs this religion very much and any attempt to loosen its mental grip will result in damage to your relationship and increased devotion. I have a brother who has been battling mental illness for thirty five years. When his meds are working well he realizes that his religious fanaticism is a part of the illness. Arguments do more harm than good--always. If he starts an argument, I would say, "You could be right." and change the subject. He needs you in his life. I can tell you are a kind and caring person--and a voice of reason in his mental wilderness.

His view on why women won't date him is scary. I was very TBM and I had no problem dating and marrying my no-mission hubby. I think TBM women are like most women--they date with an eye to the future. Does he have a job? Any advanced education? Chances are that the lack of mission has very little to do with his lack of dates. That anger can turn men into predators.

Any way you can connect with him in a positive way is invaluable to him. Facebook is better left alone. Maybe a shared hobby? You're probably not in a position to help him acquire treatment, but I'm sure you'll do what you can. Good luck to you.

^^^

Thanks Dorothy.

I leave him alone on Facebook for the most part. I still feel really bad and sometimes want to rescue him. But I know I can't do that. I would never try to discourage him from the religion, but I just wish I could get him to open his eyes a little and try to look at opposing views on things.

There are some people that I like perfectly well, but I can't stand what they post on FB, so I don't follow them. You might consider that for your brother. There are other ways to communicate.

Your brother's stubbornness and close-mindedness could be symptoms of his mental problems, for example, if he has OCD or Asberger's. Therapy and medication could help him. (Oh, I just read Dorothy's post, and she wrote the same thing.)

I agree that Facebook is unhealthy. My children and I quit Facebook, because it was just another way for Mormons to intrude in our life and harass us.