Here are a couple of leading possibilities:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gas_giant

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_dwarf

We have precious little information regarding Celestial Kingdumb real estate. We do know there is way more than enough sex happening there to challenge the even the most stalwart of members. But what about the CK planet?

I'm wondering if the Brown Dwarf might be the Telestial Kingdumb. Doesn't sound like High Rent property to me.

There are several varieties of Gas Giant planets.

Where are Bruce.R and Hugh.W when we need them the most?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/18/2014 03:48AM by beyondashadow.

to be fair (he he) we only know that god lived on a planet near Kolob at the time of Abraham

by now, the star might be starting to go into an expansion phase, leading to a red giant obliterating gods own planet.


just saying.... It's been a long time since Abraham. God might have moved

it's got an argon based atmosphere (only the best for god and company), and all the life forms are sodium-based. It's a weird place and hostile for earthlings. do not hie to there.

A key factor is the rate of rotation of god's planet, which is one rotation every 1000 years on earth. I am pretty sure that rules out a gas giant or a brown dwarf, but the lack of land to walk on rules them out anyway.

More likely is an icy planet a LONG way away from kolob the star. According to my "back of the envelope" calculations it would have to be a long way outside a habitable zone to have such a slow rotation.

There is the possibility that kolob the planet is a rocky earth-like planet, but that would involve some serious braking power to slow down the planet's rotation.

A more satisfactory possibility from a scientific view is that Joseph Smith mistakingly thought that the slower a planet's rotation the more awesome it is. Horny Joe must have been drunk when he came up with that one.

I'm leaning toward thinking it's both a gas giant and brown dwarf. If you will, a "brown gas giant" a lost of gas and not much in the way of substance. We laymen would call it a Shart (sloppy far$) for short.

Kolob...the a$$hole of the universe...

Ron Burr

Don't forget, the sun gets its light from Kolob (which, according to the line of prophets in direct communication with the all-powerful god of the universe, we don't know anything about, including whether it's a star or a planet).

Not from nuclear fusion of hydrogen into helium. From magic and Kolob. We know this from the proven-fraudulent Book of Abraham. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/18/2014 12:48PM by ificouldhietokolob.

Gas giant? You mean like really big fart?

Brown dwarf? You mean like a really small turd?

Well, we did pretty much decide that God does indeed fart holy, celestial farts in a thread from a day or two ago.

But the size of his bowel movements is still up for discussion.

Man is that he might have joy. God is that he might have a gas - giant of course.

Johnny The Smoke has it right. Both choices sound like gastrointestinal disorders, and no doubt God is a pain in the bowels.

According to General Relativity clocks deep in a gravitational
field run slower than clocks far from the gravitational object.

The formula is

To = Tf { sqrt[1 - (2GM/rc^2)]}

Where

To is elapsed time on Kolob
Tf is elapsed time on Earth
G is the gravitational constant
c is the speed of light
M is the mass of Kolob
r is the radius of Kolob

Given that one day on Kolob equals 1000 years on earth the
ratio To/Tf is, 1/365,000 For practical purposes, in this
formula, we can call it zero. That means

2GM/rc^2 = 1

which gives

M/r = (c^2)/2G = 6.74 x 10^26 Kg/m

Since mass of a homogeneous sphere is proportional to the cube
of the radius this means that Kolob must be VERY small or VERY
dense.

Since God is an exalted man with a body of flesh and bone as
are his wives and ministering angels, the VERY small option is
not feasable (Note: For god as spirit and the doctrine that
many angels can dance on the head of a pin, the very small
option is viable, but this would be Christianity and not
Mormonism)

Therefore I can only assume that God lives on some burnt-out
neutron star, or, worse yet, inside the event horizon of a
black hole.

If Kolob is a black hole, it could really be the a$$hole of the universe.

If you buy into the holographic principle and the Schwarzschild proton, we are made of black holes so God is everywhere.

Let us look at the travel brochure for Kolob or the planet near it, depending on ones interpretation.

D&C 130:7 "Angels dwell in the presence of God on a globe like a sea of glass and fire."

God lives on a black hole. That's certainly where all my prayers went.

You know what Kolob backwards spells? And you know that Joseph Smith often changed words and names, turned them around, etc.
UK English: bollocks = testicles.
Oh ya. Joseph Smith Jr got the last laugh!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2014 11:32PM by SusieQ#1.