Very recently decided to leave the lds church when I came to university and I know that I've made the right decision. But adjusting to a normal life is very difficult, especially in a university setting. It's sad that I even have to say this - but thinking for myself can be very overwhelming.
Less than two months ago I was abused by my parents, kicked out of their home, lost a lot of friends, tried to commit suicide twice and caused a lot of physical harm to myself all in order to figure out what was right. Religion and being a member of this "church" has caused nothing but pain and stress in my life.
How can I even express how great it is to go out and drink or smoke with my friends, have sex and even drink a cup of damn coffee without being told that you're going to burn in hell!? Hallelujah! The freedom to choose is what makes us human, and not making your own choices isn't even living a life.
It really disgusts me that we are told to persevere through the hard things and be good so we will be rewarded in the "next life". I think it would be so sad to live your entire life by the rules and then have god not exist and loosing your only chance at life - this was my main reason for leaving. And don't even get me started on the mold set for women.
Sometimes when I forget all of the bad memories I get a glimpse of what a religion-free life feels like and it feels great. It feels so free to be able to think for myself. As a member I didn't even feel like I was a human being. I feel more spiritually, sexually and mentally free than ever. I'm so glad that I got out when I did; before endowments, garments and temple marriages and missions (since I'm 18) and I mourn for my close friends who are still members and doing all of these things soon. Being a member was like being brainwashed - we are told that the "spirit" will always make us happy, but being sad sometimes is life. Does anyone else feel like they aren't able to handle real emotions for themselves? Being told for so long that god will fix things instead of having to fix things for myself is very disabling.
I'm not sure if god exists or not, and actually I really hope that he does, but I'm hella sure that I will not be joining another church, at least for a long time. I do not think that you have to be a member of some church to go to heaven or whatever peaceful afterlife there might be. I'm trying my best not to worry about it until I get there.

Pardon for the rant and the depressing content but I really need some help. Are there other exmormons here who can give me advice on how to move on and also give me support?? How can I alleviate the stress and move on from the bad memories???

Thank you

I want someone less sleepy to give you some good advice. Sounds like you've really been through it. Be kind to yourself and take things slowly.

Religious programming can take quite a while to overcome. My best advice to you is to take things slowly when it comes to acquiring new habits -- don't go off of the deep end. As for the rest of it, be kind to yourself and give yourself the gift of time.

You may find the following website helpful:

http://members.shaw.ca/blair_watson/

Stop being self-destructive!

Mormons teach us to hate ourselves. "The natural man is an enemy to God." If you are a woman, you have no rights, and no "authority", in the Mormon cult.

So, love yourself. Get healthy. Quit smoking, now, before the dependency gets worse, and your lungs get worse. Get outdoors and start walking in the beautiful fall weather. Mormons don't know that heaven is right here, and right in this moment.

There is much to love about yourself. You have good qualities. Congratulations on going to a university! You have come a long way in two months! You have made a right decision! You are on the road to being normal--but remember that normal is not perfect. So many former Mormons expect a "perfect" recovery from Mormonism.

The best way to move on is to fill your mind with other things. The new things you are learning at the university will crowd out all those old memorized primary songs and stupid scriptures and nonsense about the hereafter. Stay in the moment, and study for the next test. The more you learn, the more you'll forget. That's what I did. I wasn't in school, but I read everything I could get my hands on, and took some philosophy and science classes. I have books of poetry on my nightstand, instead of scriptures.

You are in an ideal situation to move on.

A university is a great place to meet new people. Meet them in your classes, instead of in bars. You might not realize this yet, but to move out of Mormonism is a step up. The Mormon cult is something you rise above. WTG!

"You are on the road to being normal--but remember that normal is not perfect. So many former Mormons expect a "perfect" recovery from Mormonism."

Thank you. That phrase resonates with me.

Sounds like the best part of leaving the church is that you can smoke, drink and have sex as much as you like. You're glad you're out but damn, making decisions on your own is a pain. And, oh, by the way, it's been so tough you've attempted suicide 2x.

Hmmm...

Hey, a little compassion here? Maybe you had your sh!it together 100% at 18 years old, but some of us struggle/struggled--big time. OP came her for advice and SUPPORT. Not judgment.

Yes, discovering Mormonism is full of lies causes lots of pain, especially when friends and family shut you out, too. Please consider smoking, drinking too much and having sex irresponsibly have real consequences in the real world, not in the fantasy land of the hereafter.

I, and many, many people, find the change from Mormonism to the real world scary, difficult, unexpected and frustrating. Some of the best advice I received was to experiment with new activities - clubs, service projects, movies - to find out what I liked.

You are valuable and worthy without the LD$ Church, no matter what "they" say. People on RfM are generous with their advice, so if you need help, please pop in and find out how real people cope without the unrealistic teachings of the Morg.

You screen name indicates you have connections to Quebec. If you are in Quebec now, or in any Canadian university you know the counselling services the school offers are free of charge. Please go and talk to someone.

I feel you. I've also just left. Literally got my confirmation letter from the big building downtown that I by my request my name has been removed. I've got the cliche down, came out when I was in my youth, now married to a beautiful lady, (: Removed my name a couple months ago and I'm just... struggling with my family. I just am. My wife is highly anti-lds, I am just bitter, and have such an odd torn feeling with my family. It is a mixture of sorrow for them, and a general feeling of a wall very high up. I have so many things I want to enlighten my parents and siblings with, but I also want to respect them, but I don't respect the LDS religion. Anyone else having this feeling? Blah.

Oh yeah. Strained and distant family relationships are wrenching even when church is not involved. When church is the 10 foot wall, you just want to take. it. down. But there it sits and they'd rather worship the wall, for all the good it does--none.

Totally. So much effort into nothing.

It's a crazy mixed bag of emotions for awhile. Give yourself some time to think things through. Find a friend or support group who you can talk to. It truly gets better with time.