This has been bothering me for a long time, and so I feel like if I just talk about it hopefully I'll feel better about it.
So lets go back about a year ago...
I had just become an ex-mo at the age of 18, I was still in highschool and still dependent on my parents. My only friends were LDS, and after researching the church I concluded that it is false and God does not exist. I decided to live authentically and announce my atheism. I got a lot of lashback, and my relationships with my LDS Friends fell apart, but I got some support from other people at school who were more of acquaintances. I was feeling really lonely, so after about a month I decided to start a club about secularism to try to connect more with the atheist students at my school. Most were really supportive.
My parents found out. I told them why I started it, but my mom said it made her sick to her stomach and my dad forced me to watch her as she bent over the toilet, apparently in distress. He told me that he didn't want to be seen as the person whoose son was the founder of an atheist club.
I think they were trying to make the point that their pain was somehow my fault and that therefore I was wrong in doing what I did. I think I shouldn't have had to ask their permission or feel like I was morally wrong for looking to get connected with like-minded people. I feel like the TSSC gave her her the pain she felt, and it makes me angry that TSSC did this to them and harmed my relationship with them. I'm saddened that my dad seemed more concerned about his status as a mormon than he did about my social wellbeing and supporting me in my goals and aspirations.
It's so ironic that his lesson completely backfired.
I'm still angry and just want to forget my childhood and adolescent involvement in TSSC. I've given it a year but my feelings about it still won't go away...
It isn't our responsibility to make others happy. In fact, we can't. Not like all of us haven't tried and failed.
It takes longer than a year. I'm 20 years inactive, though I didn't realize I didn't believe until about 11 years ago. I think I've done most of my healing, but the baggage we carry from mormonism may never completely leave us.
I'm happy with where I'm at and I don't worry about it much anymore.
I noticed this about my own mother as I came into adulthood. She couldn't really punish me any more, but she got manipulative instead.
"If you don't do what I say, then you can't use the car." So I bought my first car at 19.
It's a parent's new tactic as their child grows up and they have to find other ways to control them. I imagine it takes some time to be able to stand back and think, "Okay, I've raised them and now it's time to stand back and let them fly on their own."
It makes some parents panic, especially when a controlling religion is involved, like Mormonism. My mother isn't even religious.
As far as your club goes, I'd simply point out to them that they have all the support in the world, being surrounded by like-minded people when they go to church.
Ask them to imagine what it would be like if they were the only Mormon amongst a lot of non-Mormons. Wouldn't they want to seek out those who were like-minded?
You could say that you're not trying to justify anything, as you shouldn't have to, but that you're simply trying to help them to see it from your point-of-view.
If they turn out to be completely unreasonable, as Mormons often are when it comes to the faith, then at least you tried. You'll just have to accept, as others have mentioned, that you're not responsible for their happiness and how they deal with your decisions is their own problem.
It's a bit more than Ironic... TSCC touts itself as 'Pro-Family', but when "religion" splits people / families apart on account of Mormonism.... that's a different story!
Maybe you should invite them into the bathroom to watch you puke because they're brainwashed. Seriously though, it sounds like they need a lesson about agency.
My Dad was put upon by a shyster who married into a prominent Mormon family in Lethbridge. The asshole, I'm sure, was told to ask Dad for investment money (when his wife's family wouldn't trust him). The outfall of the deal was Dad and Mom losing their life savings while in their mid 70's. Lots of "if's" here....if he wasn't LDS this may have never happened. The other family dismissed the whole thing as more my Dad's fault for "getting taken to the cleaners" than their son-in-law being a fucking rat bastard crook.
People are going to feel however they're going to feel. You are not in charge of your parents' feelings. They are in charge of how they will choose to feel about your choices in life.