One of my sisters shared with me a bit of her conversation with the other sister of how they were trying to identify signs of my disbelief in the church while they visited me in my home a few years ago. DH and I had been "inactive" for 18 months at the time of their visit but they didn't know at the time. My response? I would be happy to share with you any thing with respect to my leaving. No need to speculate among yourselves. Feel free to come directly to me and ask. She replied that they would never do that because it is in the past, it's history. Okay, so they can gossip about me about their visit three years ago but can't ask me about it because it's in the past. Right. Makes complete sense.

From the topic line I assumed you meant sisters in your ward. I live in a ward where gossip is capital and sisters are the brokers.

Gossip is one the worst results of the "ward" congregational structure. Being forced to worship in the same geographical area where you conduct every other aspect of your life is like eating where you take a dump.

Well said. Even dogs don't like to mix the two up.

people leave, instead of actually asking them about it.

It's safer. They can come up with reasons that don't challenge their beliefs. This often includes finding fault or weaknesses in the person who left.

I think it's an exercise in reinforcing their own beliefs, and reassuring themselves that you have a problem. Even if you told them, they probably would discount it and make up a reason that fit with their preconceptions. TBMs are notorious for that.

My feelings about "family" who think your business is any of theirs: fuckkem!

Mormons don't dare ask what they want to know. They just look for questionable signs and nuances as evidence for their pre determined conclusions. They also do this to rewrite history.

"Oh, yes, it makes sense now. I noticed her frown when I bore my testimony that time. I guess she was already tempted by the outside world and was on her way out."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2014 12:12PM by Cheryl.

Exactly!

Not one single mormon has asked me why I left the church. Not one.

The reason they don't is because they know that I will straight up tell them. They also know that I did my homework before I left. They know that I wouldn't make a decision like that on a whim. The combination of all that scares them.

Agreed. No one has asked me either. Well, one good friend asked me initially but then back pedaled when I started to explain why I left. It's weird. But then reasoning and logic don't seem to readily available or used by any Mormons (relatives, acquaintances or friends) I know.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2014 02:44PM by iris.

madalice Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Not one single mormon has asked me why I left the
> church. Not one.

Same here. Even my mom only asked one or two very surface questions, like she was afraid to dig too deep. Everyone else has been silent about it. And because there are unresolved issues there, it makes it hard to have real conversations and real relationships with anyone.

I have been asked that several times. I printed off the ces letter and gave it to one of them. I still have some to distribute to other members of the ward.
I live in such a high % mormon area regardless of their gossip they will have to name some TBMs.