So I got told from The boss customers are complaining I talk down to them. I'm so perplexed by this. Is this normal in the the world of Mormon or being a christian???? What does this mean??? How far does this go in my own life.

It may be the inflections in your voice, that might be a holdover that you learned from mormonism if you were a member for a long time.

Are you male or female? If female, do you sound like the female speakers at General Conference? Many of them sound like they are talking to a pre-schooler, or their pet, when they are talking to an adult.

Living in SLC, I've had some clerks at grocery stores talk to me in that voice, and being on the receiving end, it does feel like I am being talked down to like I am four years old, even though they are talking in their "normal" voice.

I don't know if that is what customers have complained to your boss about, but if it is, it is something you can change with a conscious effort in changing your speech.

I have found that morgbots are extremely hypersensitive to voice tone, inflections, etc. I do believe they are so conditioned to hearing the soft melancholy Minnie mouse tones from church, that they have the same expectations outside the church. Face it - it's a f*$%&# up church and the people are nutz.

I don't understand what you mean by "normal in the world of" being Mormon or Christian. That they are more offended or act more superior??

Are you talking to people in baby voice, like you would try to explain something to a child? Are you explaining the obvious? An example of how you're talking down to people would be useful, and you should ask your boss specifically what you're doing, if s/he hasn't already told you. This may or may not carry into your personal life. With customers, you may take a different tone, just because you're trying to be helpful, and maybe you just come across as condescending.

This is an example at 30 minutes in on this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BACP_4BqkFo
of the voice I am talking about. Also they one at 49 minutes.

Imagine it saying
"Did you need any help?"
"Did you find everything you need?"
"Swipe your card."
"Do you want your receipt?"

I think even "innocent" talk in those voices could make a person feel talked down to.

I agree that this "innocent voice" talk does the trick of making someone feel talked down to. For me, it is also when someone uses a firm, harsh manner and sometimes calls you by name at the beginning of what goes on to sound like a lecture. I know people who do this, they learned it in their family environment, to the point they are not even aware anymore it is what they do. Never are any words used like, it's my opinion, I feel, or, to me, this is the case. They come out as "the" authority and leave no room for another opinion or take on the subject.

I've worked in customer service of various types for many years, and am fairly sensitive to people who talk down to others.

Like others have said, an overly sweet voice is rude - one of my staff said she was "killing them with kindness" - I said it was transparent and to stop doing that. Comments like "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "Well if you read the manual, it explains this step by step". Or saying that you "assume" they, of course, did x, when you know they probably have no idea to do x. Oh my, there are sorts of ways to do it.

I never heard a customer complain of it though. So either you're doing it very obviously, or possibly a coworker complained to the boss and the boss is trying to work with you but keep their identity hidden. Hmmm, that could make one paranoid!

I'd ask the boss for help. "The other day you said customers were complaining that I'm talking down to them. That really bothered me because I certainly don't want to do that, but I can't think of how I'm doing that. Can you help point out what it is that I say or do?? In the mean time, I'll certainly try to be aware of it."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2014 12:19AM by seekyr.

Ask your boss for specifics -- ask him if it is it what you are saying, or your tone of voice, unconscious attitude, manner, etc. Ask him to point it out to you right after an interaction.

Dealing with the public can be tough. It can be helpful to remind yourself that there are all different kinds of people in the world. Sometimes using mental tricks can help, i.e. telling yourself, "A good friend of mine sent this person to me. I'm going to be extra nice to her no matter what." Or see yourself as being a nurturing type and let that guide your interactions.