Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: October 17, 2014 12:19PM
I've collected a few key pieces of dating advice to give my teenage daughter for when she is old enough to think about settling down. But one of the best was one I read about just a few months ago: Throw away your list.
Everyone has a list of what they want in a partner. And some things should be considered. If you are an active, outdoor person you wouldn't want to be with a couch potato. Or if you are an animal rights activist you might want to make sure your blind date isn't with a butcher. But once you've established your deal-breakers, then you should throw away your list and not spend your relationship constantly seeing how your partner "measures up." It's more effective at that point to just ask yourself one question: How does this person make me feel?
Do I like myself better? Do they bring out the best in me? Am I happier, more relaxed, more productive? Do I like who I am when I'm around them. Am I laughing more, thinking more, caring more? Am I more the person I want to be? Who am I when I'm with them? Now here is where I go on topic...
We could ask ourselves that around Mormons. Did you feel like a better person hanging out with Mormons (seriously better, not just that your ego was being stroked more.) Did you like the person that you were around Mormons? Did you feel more like yourself? More relaxed? Your best self? If you did, you may need to re-think your decision to leave but I think, bottom line, is most of us like ourselves better now, are happier now, are better people now - now that we are out of a relationship with the church that wasn't in our best interests. I've said this dozens of times but I am amazed by how often I've thought "I don't want to be like you" in regards to the Mormons I know and since you become like the people you hang around the most, it's probably a good thing I left. I don't like who I am around Mormons (my voice gets higher - a sure sign of nervousness, I start saying what I think they want to hear more than what I think, I flip into that "Mormon persona." In general, not my best self.) So that alone is reason to leave them alone. Who were you when you were Mormon and do you like yourself better now, out of your relationship with Mormonism?