This might be too soon, but does anyone know what night the ward Christmas parties are going to take place this year? Because of correlation, I assume all the parties are on the same night. Our stake house has only one ward in it, so we don't have to trade nights with anyone.

Is it on a Friday or Saturday night? The first weekend of December, or the second weekend of December?

I need to know, to save my TBM daughter from an unhappy time at Christmas. Her TBM husband makes her go to church and all the functions, and take the kids, but he hates to go, so he does something else. He also makes them go to meetings, yet he sits there with his i-pod, listening to sports the whole time, or he'll take the baby out for a long walk.

Every Christmas, the Primary hypes the Christmas party. The kids rehearse songs for it. They are promised that Santa Claus will show up, but last year he didn't. My daughter has to cook a set recipe, that asks for something like dried black Chinese mushrooms from the Asian market, or certain beans from the Mexican market 45 minutes away. She goes, but is too busy with the kids to eat, and the kids are too hyper to eat, so she cooks a main course for 10 people, and her family doesn't eat one bite. She feels awkward that her husband is not with her, and she has her hands full keeping her children in line. She is new in the ward, and people are nice, but its been 3 years, and she has no real friends there. Last year, a couple she didn't know said, out of pity, for her to sit with them. As soon as she sits down, the children run off to roll around on the stage, or hide behind the curtains, with the other unsupervised kids.

"Well, you're new in the ward...?"
"We've been here three years.
"What street do you live on?"
"X Street, next door to the bishop."
"Oh...is your husband here with you?"
"No, he had to work tonight...and" My daughter can not tell a fib very well.

Awkward silence....

My daughter promises herself that she won't go to the next party, but the Primary and her children push her into going.

This year, I'm planning something so fun, that she and her husband and children will want to go, together with the whole family, and will forget about the sad ward Christmas party. I need to make some reservations and plans in advance for this, so I need to know the exact date of the party. Anyone know? Any guesses? Should I plan something both nights, just in case?

Around here, they are held the first two weeks in Dec. on both Friday and Saturday Nights.

The date may already be listed on her ward calendar.

Each Ward plans and schedules their activities.

Sounds stressful. Maybe there is a neighborhood that has lots of lights on display that you an drive around and drink coffee / coco or whatever instead. Hell, even the mall santa claus visit seems less stressful.

Is there a reason she goes? Is she being Miss Obedient Molly because I wouldn't go if my husband was insisting on going and then bailing. Even if I made the casserole, if my husband bailed I wouldn't bother going. Either drop off the dish or freeze it, and there's no way in hell I would make a specialty dish with expensive, difficult items - cheap and easy, maybe even a premade lasagna. Done. If it's that important to husband, he can go. If we showed up and he did nothing to help wrangle the kids and was busy playing on the phone, I would leave.

What she needs to do over the next month is shiny up her spine and say no. She needs to warn her kids, "We might not be able to go." If dad decides to bail on the CMas party, she'll promptly say "I guess we're not going." If the kids get upset, let their father deal with it. It would be different if he genuinely had to work, but if he volunteered to work that shift just to get out of going to the ward party, back to plan A - not going. She can put the ball in her husband's court when the ward asks. "He went and made other plans."

It would be nice if you could fill the void, especially when the kids get their hopes up. :)