The first time I was called as a counselor in a bishopric, I had been struggling to get a testimony. When a member of the stake presidency issued the call, I felt quite strongly that the call was a result of my faithful diligence and that I would finally receive a testimony. After all, god wouldn't let a counselor serve in the bishopric without giving him a testimony.

Well, it didn't turn out the way I expected, and serving in the bishopric was a big step on my way out of the church.

In one of our first meetings as a bishopric, the bishop reviewed the tithing list and made comments about who had a good year financially and who didn't. This flippant review made me literally feel sick to my stomach since I thought tithing was sacred and should be treated accordingly.

The bishop regularly broke confidences and shared with us private matters he had discussed with members. Even worse, he shared these private matters with his wife, who then disseminated the information among ward members.

The bishop regularly disparaged ward members. In particular, he had a vendetta against the relief society president. The rs president was a particularly nice and caring person, and she was very diligent in fulfilling her calling. However, the rs president made the mistake of the telling the bishop's wife that she shouldn't share confidential information she learned from the bishop. The ward gossip didn't take that feedback very well, so her bishop husband got revenge on the rs president.

Revelation was lacking. In particular, there were several callings that had terrible outcomes, either because the people lacked the capacity to fulfill the callings or because the calling was overwhelming to the person called.

I was suffering from pretty significant cog dis. I knew I needed to support the bishop, but I strongly felt that I was involved in something very wrong by serving in the bishopric. Ultimately, I ended up moving to get out of the bishopric. Stupidest thing I've ever done, and I've always regretted leaving the job I had and essentially flushing my career in that field down the toilet. I couldn't in good conscience continue serving in the bishopric, but I didn't want to the leave the church, and moving seemed to be the only option.

And then, right after moving to the new area, I was called as a counselor in a bishopric again. But that's a story for another day.

That's actually really impressive that you were able to listen to and follow your gut while in a bishopric. Really sorry you feel like you had to lose your job to get out though. TSCC is such a vile organization, I always get so frustrated that it took myself and others so long to see it when it's right there in plain view.

Give yourself a break for not realizing the truth about TSCC. For one thing, the corporate identity and the money-grubbing were results of correlation and later mainstreaming.

Back in the day, members paid for their own buildings, and they didn't build mcchurches. There were road shows, dinners, and all kinds of community-building activities. People were supportive of one another. Cultural activities happened. At least that is the ethos of the thing.

Correlation hollowed the bones of the institution. It objectified the members to a degree that probably matches that of the Joe-Brig era. The humanity got sucked out of every aspect of the religion.

The Hinkster powdered the bones of the institution. In the years of his "leadership" in front of or behind the scenes, the corporation took root and grew like weeds. All of the money gets funneled to the top, and the membership has no sense of community. Can't afford a decent annual ward dinner.

In a way the institution has come full circle: back to predatory objectification of the membership.

But until 25 years ago, the church was not a bad place to be. And either you grew up in that era or your parents did.

a sound heart is a surer guide than an ill-trained conscience

"The bishop regularly broke confidences and shared with us private matters he had discussed with members. Even worse, he shared these private matters with his wife, who then disseminated the information among ward members."

exactly my experience as well

for any lurkers that still attend: don't tell your bishop anything that you wouldn't say from the pulpit at fast and testimony meeting

Other religious organizations go to great lengths to protect clerical confidentiality.

Mormonism weaponizes confidentiality. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

Did you consider moving across town, into a new ward, but within commuting distance to your work?

We had a bishop much like that. His wife knew everything and used the information very covertly. She came across as very caring and pulled it off as ward members thought she was wonderful. I was her VT and I soon learned she could be downright mean. The bishop wasn't pleased with any of the people he called as presidents and their callings were short. I suspect his wife was not pleased with the people he called and he did as his wife told him. My husband was also his counselor and the bishop didn't like me either.

My husband was bishop a few years ago and people thought I knew the business of the ward. I did not. In fact my husband changed one of his counselors and I did not know that was happening until I sustained the new counselor in SM along with all the other ward members. All bishops are not bad, but those that are can be treacherous.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2014 03:47PM by cynthia.

When I was an eight-year-old I knew all of the ward's secrets. My best friend was the Bishop's son, and the Bishop talked about everything to his wife...the kid listened to all of it and past it around.

I knew two parents who were afraid their daughter would never marry.

I knew about a couple who were on the verge of divorce.

I knew about a man who only wore his garments on Sunday.

I found out that my OWN family was in financial trouble!

...All this, and more, from a kid my own age!

Interesting. I would like to hear about the second time you served in a bishopric as well. One of the problems with the LDS church is that in many wards, your story is accurate, and in other wards, it works as it ideally should. I'm inactive, but I hear a lot about the ward from neighbor get togethers, and I heard the ex-bishop's wife say that she didn't hear 1 word about the members from her husband. Very individual.

In a nutshell, I tried to turn down the calling the second time because I didn't have a testimony. However, the member of the stake presidency convinced me to accept even after I said I didn't have a testimony, and I felt it was the right thing to do. I really felt what I thought was the spirit prompting me to accept.

The second time was much better than the first. The bishop sincerely loved the members of the ward, and was very respectful of confidences. There were other struggles I had while serving, but at least this time the bishop was someone I could respect and fully support.

You're right, bishops vary drastically, and some are wonderful. I had the chance to work with both extremes.

It seems like so many things are so much easier than just saying loudly and clearly "F*CK OFF AND DIE!"
It works and it saves so much heartache and trouble, moving expenses etc.

Has anyone ever had the balls to sue these as*holes for slander? I'd be rich now if I had gone through what some of you have gone through.
Gossiping is a sin....but so is child molesting and rape so not a biggie....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2014 04:56PM by verilyverily.

I can relate to this. My bishopric experience was the beginning of the end.

It made it more clear that leaders had little inspiration.

I recall a young couple that had been married in the temple. The wife was screwing some other guy (not LDS). To try to get even, her husband wrote a dirty letter to an LDS woman. Anyway, we got involved to discipline them, and after praying, the bishop and first counselor said they felt inspired to simply withhold sacrament for a month for the wife.

I went along with them as I was outnumbered, and new at it. But I was confused that their discipline would be so weak after making temple covenants. And sure enough, the wife kept screwing this guy and ended up pregnant by him right as I was leaving the ward.

Then I recall telling a lady I felt inspired to call her as Sunday School teacher, after which she said she couldn't do it as they were moving in 2 weeks. Which made me wonder why god didn't let me in on that before I made a fool out of myself.

And on and on.....