I'll need to keep this a bit vague but I need to celebrate it. My very TBM wife works with young people in a public way - is that vague enough?

Anyway, she is working with a young person who is kind of self identifying as gay. She doesn't know if the child really is or not, it may be just a way to lash out. The child is still pretty young. It's kind of a heart breaking situation but what really made my day is my wife's response to it.

There was absolutely no condemnation. There was no moral judgement at all. She took this new information and said wow, that might really explain a few things and this poor child may be having a very difficult time because of this.

My sweet, Turbo TBM wife is expressing concern over how the Mormon influence on gender and sexual orientation can be devastating to a young person. She is actively looking for a way to counter that influence.

This is huge.

If the cult is losing people like my wife as allies in their "war on the gays" then they are going to lose that war in a hurry.

Thanks for posting. Makes me so happy anytime I hear of one more person getting it. The kid is lucky to have your wife in his life.

Glad for you, glad for her, and glad for the kid.

Growing up with 3-4 guys who finally came out as gay in adulthood was what changed my mind. The news came as no surprise. It was more like "of course". At that point, the truth was obvious that they had ALWAYS been gay, not that they had made some kind of choice. I had known some of them in elementary school..

Knowing someone who is gay puts a human face on the whole issue. And EVERYBODY knows someone who is gay, whether they realize it, or not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2014 11:41AM by imaworkinonit.

Good for your wife. It's so hard for young people - they face enough pressure as it is without worry about judgement from parents, friends and members of their religion.

I think it's harder for people to be hard core homophobic when they have friends and family that are gay. Not saying some people can't still be that way, as evidenced by the horror stories I have read here and elsewhere on the internet of gay kids being shunned, kicked out of their houses, etc. But for most people it's more difficult.

I have a friend who was raised Southern Baptist. When we were roommates (strictly platonic :)) we both became friends with two lesbians who were in a relationship. They were both wonderful people. Unfortunately one passed away, which broke all our hearts. The other is still alive and is one of my dearest friends. These are the people who would give you the shirt off their backs if you needed it, bail you out of jail, and help you bury the bodies :)

One day she was talking about how she was always taught that being gay was a sin and meant that person was going to hell. I asked her if she seriously thought our friends were going to hell. I told her to think long and hard on it. To remember the types of people they are. She immediately told me no, they were not. She had been taught wrong. Knowing them she knew there was no way they were bad people. No way they made a choice to be gay.

I am watching very closely a similar situation as the OP. Not wanting to reveal too much real life details, I will say that there is a child that I suspect may be gay. The child has some family members who don't care less and will love him whether he is or not (me included), some who are not necessarily homophobic but are not comfortable with the kid being gay, and some who believe being gay is a sin. They've all known this kid since birth. I'm watching very closely to see how everyone reacts and if the child is gay, I'll have no problem reminding those with a problem that this is the same kid they've known for years.

Your wife may not realize that she has made a huge difference in this child's life just by showing him a little kindness.

Frankly I think that is all it takes for the majority of people to rethink their ideas on homosexuality and that is knowing well one person Who is LGBT. Look at the republican party. Who isn't anti-gay in the Republican Party? Those people who have a gay son or daughter.

Of course there are exceptions like Dick Cheney's daughter who threw her sister under the bus in order to try and get elected. Glad it backfired.

I remember 10 or 11 years ago, it was election time and Utah's Anti-Gay Marriage constitutional amendment was on the ballot. I had just come out in my un-belief and it was a very rocky time in the marriage. After voting my wife glared at me and practically spat: "You probably voted against it didn't you!?"

Well, in fact, I had just voted against it. This past year as we've seen that amendment declared unconstitutional and invalidated in the courts it's provided many opportunities for discussions. Attitudes can change. When new information is actually examined rather than rejected it's amazing how things look different in a new light.

Yes... it's really amazing how different anything looks if actually examined rather than immediately reacted to!

Cheers to your wife for putting a person before an organization! The Boner.

That's my favorite takeaway from this refreshing story.

Despite the church trying very hard to keep their flock immersed in TSCC activities constantly, the fact is they *do* live in the real world, and *do* interact with normal, no-mo people.
And in that real world, even in places that have historically been extremely "conservative" and anti-gay, being gay is largely becoming a non-issue. Most Americans simply don't care any more if someone is gay or not, and they are getting comfortable with the idea of gays being "out" and in their communities.

That's having an effect on TBMs. And probably driving the G15 nuts. :)