I will soon retire, and live in the morridor.
What does retirement look like for exmos? I need ideas and inspiration.
Almost all of my friends are TBM, and they are all either gone on missions, looking forward to missions, or so sick that they are working on getting themselves healthy enough to go on missions.

They have worked themselves to the bone raising kids in the cult, and now are working themselves to the death doing mindless temple ceremonies or office work, manning visitors centers, being surrogate parents to 18 year old missionaries and teaching immigrants English- Why? So those top greedy bastards can get fresh money flowing into their MLM.


I am disgusted at the way my friends' whole lives have been consumed by the cult, including their mental and physical health, money, time and critical thinking skills. They miss out on grandchildren's births, recitals, soccer games, and band concerts, not to mention the birthdays, weddings, and holidays of their own kids.

The most despicable is that I have friends who haven't come home when their own parents or siblings died because "It sets a good example of serving the Lord" to stay out on a mission.

These are lovely and kind friends, who do not deserve to be manipulated and mind-controlled, and if they were able to see reality they would stay around their families and friends, offering their support and love rather than abandoning all to the soul-sucking pedestal of a "mission."
I think I answered my own question, but would like to know how you see exmo retirement without the mission?

If you are disgusted with your friends, then it is time to find new friends.

I am not in the morridor, but my retirement will be to a custom house on acreage with gardens and greenhouses, space for all my hobbies and friends to visit too.
I want to keep busy with what hobbies I can squeeze a little side money out of, and growing my own healthy food.
I want to have the time to volunteer at animal shelters and in national and state parks doing trail maintenance while I am still able.
Mormons would find all these things frivolous and worldly, so beneath them. Oh well.

It's not really hard to read that your disgust is aimed at the cult, not your friends. Too bad, morridor native there could have actually contributed a good answer to your question.
I read an entirely different meaning from that, not surprising. And of course, no contribution from the actual morridor resident.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2014 02:40PM by WinksWinks.

"It's not really hard to read that your disgust is aimed at the cult, my (sic) your friends"

You are right, it isn't hard. Nonetheless, I feel that the best way to spend your years is to surround yourself with people that are uplifting and that are not disgusting.

Your retirement can look like whatever you want it to look like. My brother has lots of hobbies including sailing, golf, woodworking, and gardening. My sister in law is an avid reader and does substitute teaching. Both like to travel and to do gourmet cooking. My good friend spends a lot of time with her young grandchildren and also travels a lot. She is a member of a bridge group. As she puts it, "You can do whatever you want to do, when you want to do it." But you have to impose your own structure, because you won't have the Mormon church sucking up all of your free time.

Exmo retirement has the possibility to include a lot more financial security, trust me.

Considering how many TBMs I know who have used up their retirement early or forfeited building it up in the first place in order to pay tithing...

I second this.

I pay about 10% of my income towards retirement. If I was still TBM, I probably couldn't afford to.

I never, ever paid tithing. I spent the bulk of my income securing housing for my family and me. This is no small thing. I retired ten years early with a mortgage payment well under $500 a month. And this is in California. Had I paid tithing, none of this would have been possible.

Please, please don't tithe. For the benefit of your family and yourself, don't tithe. Duty now for the future.

Don, I couldn't agree more. NO church needs 10% of your income. Even for people who join another church, they could donate 2% of their incomes and still have 8% to put toward retirement. The Mormon church doesn't need vast amounts of your money. *You do!*

I am hitting retirement the middle of next year. Where do the years go. Sigh...

I am fortunate that several of the firms I consult for want me to continue on a part time basis. The biggest issue in retirement, other than health, is having sufficient financial resources. Not having paid tithing the past 20 years has made it possible. I would be despondent to be at this point in my life knowing that the cult consumed my time and money and I could not retire. So many have written here how their parents have nothing saved as it all went to the church. I am always excited to see folks leave the corporation and take care of themselves, family and community and have time to do things that enrich their lives.

My music, playing in several jazz groups and in an orchestra, are fun for me. I founded, along with 2 others, a local non-profit to promote music in elementary schools. We adopted one school and have paid a significant portion of their rental, music and other needs. Hopefully this will grow. The teacher volunteers her time. I plan on helping when my time is finally freed a bit. My wife volunteers at another elementary school several days a week.

Flyfishing, whitewater boating, some travel and time for other hobbies are awaiting. Of course, keeping this site going is on the list too.

...provides an opening for a longtime visitor (who seldom posts) to sincerely thank you, Eric, for this site!

I just looked up some information on average amounts Americans have saved for retirement. It was broken down by age groups. I fit into the 50-60 group(just barely!). I'm feeling better about my situation because I have just over double the average amount.

If I hadn't stopped paying tithing 10 years ago I'm sure I'd have less than half the average. Screw you Mormon thugs.

What really concerned me is that the 60-70 group has way less on average than the 50-60 group. Is that because they are already spending theirs?

I sold the house and now live full time in an RV, traveling the West, free of schedules and obligations, making new friends -- ones I like and respect.

This is what I want to do, but I have a few fears about it.

What happens if all of the money gets spent and all I have left is an RV? RVs degrade quickly. What happens if that happens and I wreck the RV?

What happens if my kids fall on hard times and need a place to stay? I'm it for them, there are NO other back ups.

So anyway, did you have any fears about doing this?
How long have you been on the road?
Does a lot of your cash go to fuel? etc. etc.

Incognito564 Wrote:
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> What happens if all of the money gets spent and
> all I have left is an RV?

There are people living in RVs, travel trailers, campers and vans for as little as $300/month. They avoid RV parks and fee-charging campgrounds and stay free on public land as often as possible. Besides the proceeds from the house, there's Social Security and whatever other retirement one has.

> What happens if... I wreck the RV?

The same you'd do if your house were destroyed. Insurance and temporary lodging.

> What happens if my kids fall on hard times and
> need a place to stay? I'm it for them, there are
> NO other back ups.

That could be a reason not to do this.

> So anyway, did you have any fears about doing
> this?

I feared being anchored to a mortgage, yard work and house repairs the rest of my life. I feared being tied to the small orbit of the place I lived. I feared missing out on new experiences. Those outweigh any fears I might have (and they are small) about this mobile life.

> How long have you been on the road?

About a year and a half.

> Does a lot of your cash go to fuel?

The trick is to get as small an RV as you would be comfortable in (and that's probably smaller than your think) so it's more fuel efficient to begin with. Then don't be driving all the time. Stay in one place two or three weeks. Move a short distance and stay a while, move a short distance and stay a while... Right now, full time RVers are settling into non-freezing parts of the continent for the winter. They park their rigs and stay put, saving funds until it's travel season again. My plan is to spend a couple of months this winter in Mexico.

I NEVER go to church (outside of a few funerals), I don't read scripture...actually, I never did..I drink lots of coffee...especially on Sundays...

Ron Burr

I retire in 8 weeks! Yea! I live in the heart of mormondom, too

My SO and I have talked about the RV thing. My kids are scattered around and are all TBm.

I, too, am very interested in the pros and cons of RV living and the costs associated with it. And where do you get your mail? LOL

All I know is that I won't be going on any damn missions for TSCC.

<<And where do you get your mail?>>

Mail forwarding services.

Start doing online research on full time RV living. There's all sorts of info out there.

I dream about retirement. I'm only a few years away from being able to retire with enough money to not starve - but that's about all. So I'll probably keep working a while though probably at a different job.

If I had lots of money I would travel several months a year. Start with a trip to all major league baseball parks and see the country on the way. Then go overseas, starting with the South Pacific and work my way around the world.

I probably won't have that much money, and a quieter life closer to home is just fine. Golf in the summer (on public courses), wookworking, reading and maybe writing in the winter, volunteer at a local school, maybe fix up an old house that has a large garden to keep my wife busy. And lots of free time. I've always liked having more down time than most people so that sounds pretty good. Someday there will be grandkids and then they will be the number one priority and that sounds great.

I work at a company with a large number of people hitting retirement age soon and it has been interesting talking with people. Retirement scares a fair number of them - they don't know what they will do and they will lose their identity in many ways. They see it as going from someone of some importance to a nobody. Some are afraid that their spouse will drive them crazy and they will drive their spouse crazy. A surprisingly small number are like me, counting the days until they can walk out the door for good. It helps explain why some Mos are attracted to missions.

Elwood Wrote:
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> ...they will lose their
> identity in many ways.

I was so lucky. Despite how Mormonism wanted to control my identity, and despite so many people (Mormon and non) thinking I was weird, I grew to have a sense of my own identity, and was happy with it. That led me to a career I mostly loved, yet one I could happily bring to an end, because the next thing I would do would also be true to my identity.

I think so many of the world's ills are rooted in people not knowing who they are, or not being allowed to be who they are. So they attach themselves to groups or movements that supply an identity for them -- with all sorts of strings attached. They grovel for acceptance, then numb themselves via the acquisition of possessions or via self-destructive habits. Because if you don't have a self, what's the harm, right?

Those statements are rather profound and thought-provocing, Stray Mutt. I'm going to steal them and put them where i can see them and think about them!

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I agree totally that I need to find new friends, and I hope to have more time/mental space when not working to do all of the stuff you mentioned. (Well, maybe not RV since I don't want to do repairs, etc.)

One really sad thing is that my friends are not disgusting, they are just tunnel-visioned into serving lies and corruption. I am disgusted that the leaders have to know that they never see Jesus, that they don't spend money on charities, and that Joseph Smith was a con-man, among many other lies that they perpetrate out of selfishness and maybe embarrassment that they can't admit the truth.

Traveling to see grandkids and volunteering appeal to me, as well as having time to read and find new hobbies.

I also heartily thank Eric also for this forum. I hardly ever post, but it fills a need for me to at least READ about normalcy in this crazy neighborhood.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2014 02:39PM by greenkat.

When you retire (and beforehand, too), think seriously about one or two things that you truly would like to be involved in. Then find ways to do those things. And new friends will follow, almost inevitably, from your new activities. The only way to stop that is to be unfriendly, yourself.

Doesn't matter if you are proficient at whatever you want to be involved in. Being a learner is fine. Or helping out in things like theater, music, whatever. There are lots of ways to be involved. But the key is find something that you really want spend time with.

I am retired, and have been, against my will (due to illness) for several years. I lost everything, so the constraints of savings, maintaining the house, and keeping the income stream steady are no longer a concern. Guess what? Turns out that I can live without most of the things that I thought were essential. My social security check and medicare-type coverage are all that there is. I found a nice, Very Small place to live at a rent that I can --- just barely --- afford.

I am continually amazed at how much I love my life. Nothing worked out as I planned. But I am involved as much as I can be, in things that I love doing. And they cost me little or nothing to do. And I have great friends, the majority of whom I met after I lost everything. What else do I need?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/23/2014 06:16PM by peculiargifts.

To me, a retired Californian, exmo retirement looks like a no soliciting sign on my door. Since the word soliciting seems to be outside Mormon vocabulary, I have had to educate the local Mormons. Now they know, and I have time to read, write and contemplate like I've always wanted. This is by far the best part of my life, and shedding judgmental and jealous Mormon family is not the least of it. They are left to wallow in the grease bowl of their plyg paradise in southern Utah.

The first 52 years of my life were spent under the thumb of one asshole or another, the worst of which was my own sociopath father. He was by turns violent, disparaging and mocking. I don't miss his vacant eyes rolling over me and everything I care about, seeking fault and looking for ways to deliver maximum hurt. He was a goddam Mormon. My addle-pated sisters are gone, taking with them their fantasies and religious rumors. My wicked witch mother is gone, never to stab me in the back again. My youngest brother, a deadbeat father and shit-for-brains, is gone and living in a rowboat or something.

I need to go look at some onions for my dinner recipe. I've got a 49ers game going on my hi def TV with dolby digital surround sound. I'm writing this on my new chromebook. I just ate an egg roll with a nice cold V8 on the side. My sofa, though lumpy, is soft and cozy. Damn good, that's how exmo retirement looks.

I paint, garden, cook, and travel a bit. I also spend time with friends. The family of my past is out there somewhere, but I no longer consider them my family.

My retirement family is my husband,sil, 1 nephew, my kids, their spouses, and grand kids. Small but happy family.

Go watch your favorite sports team at your local sports bar. You will make new friends and enjoy a few beers at the same time.

And then golf a lot, and join a men's league golf group, you will make new friends while having a beer or two.

I'm close to retirement too. I wish I had put all that tithing in a retirement fund! Damn cult.

I am retired and we worried about how we were going to survive. Well, things aren't bad and we didn't have a bunch put back but we are able to go on several trips each year while we are still able. Personally, I don't think I could live in the Mormon west. I'll come and visit for the ExMo Conference. That's one of the trips.

I am fully retired now for the last year and a half. Divorced at the same time which took a good chunk of my money but I have enough money to get by single so I now plan to stay that way.

I do whatever I feel like and don't spend a lot time planning but kind of play it by ear. Life is great and really no stress now which is the best. I do visit my kids from time to time which is fun but they all (six of them) now live far away from me.

I am picking up hobbies and playing lots of tennis or other physical activities and will volunteer for various things to keep busy. I do not miss church stuff one iota and have saved a bit over the last 8 years from not paying tithing since then. I really feel for those friends I have doing the missions now which I am so happy to have avoided.

I am 70 now, and left the church 8 years ago which ended my near 4O year marriage. That was painful but my wife just could not handle us no longer having the eternal marriage and the same beliefs. I remarried but found that is a crap shoot and after five years of struggling with some ups and lots of downs, the marriage ended early last year after 5 years. I can not see myself trying the marriage thing again at my age so am just getting use to single life now but living in the heart of Mormonism in Utah County. I have good health and just plan to work at being as happy as I can and enjoying life. Hopefully it continues well.

I suggest moving to a 55+ community that is outside of areas with predominantly mormon populations. You will find it easy to make new friends and develop new hobbies and interests. It's worked very well for me.