One of my Mormon relatives "liked" this article on Facebook:

http://ldsmissionaries.com/8-powerful-reminders-for-missionaries-who-come-home-early/

We frequently talk about this subject here, but it's fascinating to see a TBM write about it, and to confirm that it's a major church-wide problem. Be sure to read the comments from guys who came home early, like this one:

I came home early (only out for 6 months) because of extreme illness combined with unrighteous dominion of a church leader. I did nothing wrong. However, I was treated poorly by everyone along the way on my journey home. Family, friends, strangers, you name it. The LDS culture worships missionaries. Many women will not marry someone who is not a return missionary. Just because someone went on a mission does not mean they are obedient or a good person. The social pressure to go on a mission is some of the highest of anything in the church. If a young man chooses to not go on a mission, he may as well leave the church. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go, so waited a few months after high school to attend a semester of college. I got more dirty looks and questions than I can count. I didn’t let this decide for me. I CHOSE to go. I earned the money for my mission, starting as a child. I didn’t go for my parents, a girlfriend or anyone else. I chose to go for me. I started getting sick immediately after getting out into the field and was having a tough time. Church leaders just kept calling me lazy and it wasn’t until 2 separate doctors confirmed I was ill, was the question of me being sick even addressed. This led to me being sent home “for psychological reasons”. No matter the reason for being sent home, you will always be blacklisted or thought of as inferior by many members of the church. I found no comfort in this article and found it extremely unhelpful. Optimism is not a cure for a church wide problem.

I wish I had left by 6 months. Hated every breathing second there. I'm still screwed up FOR STAYING after 30 plus years. Glad you got out of the hell-hole when you did. Be grateful!

What a pile of garbage that article is.

The damn church brainwashes every young man that they better serve OR ELSE. That it is their DUTY or they are a FAILURE.

That's the problem. That people are being brainwashed t be things they aren't. That's the only thing RMs should keep in mind. Not useless and mindless points like "You can still serve"

Maybe we should be happy there are elements within the church culture speaking up even just a little bit for the mental health of those still in tscc.

Yes to all the above. It merely perpetuates the Central Dogma of Mormonism, which is that no matter what, your entire life still belongs to the cult.

I like this line from the article:

"The man who signed your mission call didn’t serve a traditional full-time mission."

Hahahahahahaha

Don't serve a full time mission and you too could become Prophet!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2014 09:25AM by Stumbling.

Neither did the computer.

I don't care for this article very much and I am struggling to put my finger on why I don't like it.

I think perhaps it is just the TONE of the article. To me it has a tone of someone trying to talk an early returned missionary off of the ledge. It sounds like, "Look...you technically served a mission. You prepared for one, left, and returned. So technically you are an RM. It's all good. All you have to do is keep praying, keep paying, and share the gospel in your everyday life and you will be on the same level as other RM's who sacrificed two years. You are like Snowman the jumping horse who was once destined for the glue factory but turned out to be a champion instead. Now will you please come inside?" I don't know...perhaps there are early returned missionaries who are helped by hearing these things but to me it sounds like more LDS rationalizing bullshit.

I would have rather heard something along the lines of - "Hey, a mission isn't for everyone. If you came home due to illness or other medical reasons, that is beyond your control. Stay home, you've done your service. Re-starting your mission is difficult and not necessary. If you came home due to loss of belief, homesickness, burn-out, bad decision, etc., you made the right choice. You should not have been out on a mission in the first place and the courage you showed in ending it is not only admirable, but will serve you well in other aspects of your life. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Those who look down on you for not serving are people you don't want to hang around with anyways. Men/women who don't want to be in a relationship with you because you don't have that "RM" tag are people you don't want to be with long-term. Run away from them!! Now, since you are not spending the next two years on a mission, lets sit down, look at some long/short term goals that will lead to your success, and figure out what I can do/provide to help you reach those goals. Being an RM, early returning RM, or a non-missionary is not a condition of my love for you."

Yeah...it would have been nice to have heard THOSE words.

Just sayin'

Wholeheartedly agree--could not have been put any better.

Does anyone else think the appearance of this aricle in a LSS publication is an admittance this is happening a lot?

The main thing that sticks out to me in this article is my conclusion this is not being done in a vacuum, and one might also conclude the 18 year old surge is an epic failure.

It's very typical of the church to play the numbers game... Were they losing more missionaries due to the "one year of freedom til they turn 19" than they are now due to immaturity? The welfare of the kids is secondary.

And they seem to have won big time with the sisters, even though it's likely they have a higher percentage of the early returnees.

...so I'm bumping this one up as food for thought.

This lad's comment "along with unrighteous dominion by a church leader" sure hits home. No doubt it is a reference to an asshole mission president. At least he went on a mission for himself. That means it is more likely that the missionary will think for him or herself and just go home when it gets too stupid.

He's dead on about missionary work not qualifying an individual to be a good person. When I worked at Larson Ford in Murray, UT, one of our RM employees turned out to be a mass murderer.

My niece's oldest son was serving in China and wanted desperately to come home after about six months. My niece, who's husband was bishop at the time, threatened him with dire consequences should he not complete his time in hell. The poor kid was forced to stick it out. Don't know how he's doing since my niece ended all contact when I resigned my membership.

I withstood the pressure at BYU and decided not to go. I knew it wasn't for me and I acted on my feelings. It probably significantly shrunk the dating pool for me, but that was ok. I ultimately wanted someone that me not going on a mission was not an issue for them (and I found that person and I'm very happy).

It's strange how the church cult leaders teach one thing and then ordinary members have do a lot of 'apologetics' as to why it's ok if you failed to fulfil the prophets call to serve.

They will be guilted to do even more to make up for coming home early.