What the heck is wrong with this folks? This afternoon my VT showed up with invitations for my own!!!! Babyshower they want to held for me in about 8 weeks at one if my VT's house! They already invited other morgs for it! About 30! Iam so pissed. Why don't they just ex me for adultery? Why do they still go after us?
When I want a babyshower I will set the date, do the invitations and I will invite my FRIENDS! Not random Mochicks from the ward I'm assigned to. Whenever I think they couldn't top their shit they find a way to put up the cherry. Maybe I should not get in rage in my condition but this folks make it not easy to stay calm. I was supermad but they actually don't care about my rant. Just dropped their invitations and their monthly message in the name of Cheezus Cry-st... They do it it of love for us.

turn down the invitation.

OK, well, I understand you not wanting to be love-bombed and go to something full of pressure to re-activate.

However, I would point out that typically you don't throw yourself a baby shower, somebody (usually a close friend) does it for you. It's actually kind of considered to be bad taste to throw yourself one.

For sure I will turn it down.
Ya ok a CLOSE friend is the host but a close friend will ask if the date is okay and what people should show up and will not starting to hand out invitations without your knowledge. At least it is not common in our "culture"

newnameabigail Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> but a close
> friend will ask if the date is okay and what
> people should show up and will not starting to
> hand out invitations without your knowledge. At
> least it is not common in our "culture"

Unless the "close friend" is a mormon. Then the morg is their "culture." :)

Mormon close friend and non Mormon close friends are very different.

Ron Burr

Ask them if there is anything you can do to get them to shun you.

This is so easy.

Thank them for the invitation and tell them that you look forward to the opportunity to present the conflicting statements of Joseph Smith and successive prophets and let each party attendee guess which view prevails in the church today.

Tell them it will be both fun and informative for everyone! Smile!

They will drop their plans.

Seriously, Mormonism is its own culture which --as you already know-- does not consider the individual's rights and opinions, but just churns along under orders like a good little collective. In other words, it is not personal. That's part of why its so insulting, but in their MORG (borg) culture, this is what they do.

They actually feel that they are "treating you the same" as anyone else, which they feel is loving. No reason to take offense, but see the humor in the clash between their robotic world and the real world which you (thank goodness) now inhabit.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I know it takes guts to make the choice you did. I have walked in your shoes and never regretted it--and in my day they evicted a single woman for getting pregnant out of wedlock.

Peace, friend.


Kathleen Waters

This so reminds me of the programming of the cult. When I had my second baby I got invited to my own shower. They didn't ask me if the date was okay and the house it was held at was the house of a hoarder. It was horrible but being the good little TBM I was I went. Honestly I had just had a baby 16 months before, I didn't need or want a shower.

That is outrageous! Do you have a plan for getting these people out of your life?

I finally should have balls and send in my letter. Thats all I can do. They even dont ex me for my "sinful lifestyle":and expecting a baby out of wedlock.

and could host an ex-Mo baby shower for you and baby and daddy-to-be!

Do I remember correctly that you are expecting a boy?

Saree

That would be fun. :) To less "active" exmos here. At least too less to have a good party with :)

They are oblivious and are using you as some sort of service project to make themselves feel more righteous. They consider your unborn child a future tithe payer and will count him or her upon birth.

Perhaps you could say, "One Shower activity I can't wait to do is decorate atheist themed One-sies!" (Or Wiccan, or pentagrams...)

I'm sure others here will have equally shocking Shower game suggestions... Pin the Pinnochio nose on Joseph Smith, or other southern body part. Swaddle/diaper baby Jesus doll relay races...

I appreciate the game ideas and the Theme. :) Its my party isn't it? Or probably I invite also some of my gothic friends to scare the away.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2015 07:01PM by newnameabigail.

Howzabout an anatomically correct Joseph Smith doll and and 34 anatomically correct Plural Wifey dolls with name and age tats?

Then play that ever popular, historically factual party game "Insert the Prophet in the Wifey"



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2015 07:59PM by beyondashadow.

GOTH Themed Baby Shower, fantastic!

Let them know your theme/colors: black, purple-must re-do the invitations plus add 30 more people (round-up 30 friends dressed GOTH).

You will also need water tattoos for each guest and someone to come and do piercings at the Shower...

Then you get to select the music...

Decline, decline, decline.
They don't get it because they can't get it in their bubble. Just decline.
All I would say is, "I'm not comfortable with it." Period.
It doesn't matter if they don't understand. Same goes for the visiting teaching visits.
This is what I said to the bishop and the RS president, and consequently, I am officially off the lists, even though I am a member. It's your life. You can invite people in and you can excuse them out.
We all deserve some peace in this world.

Sorry, can't make it! A real friend would have asked if she could throw one for you. Where you would then talk about where and when, and maybe some input of your own that you would like. Then the friend would take it from there.

But to just drop off an invitation for your own baby-shower that you know nothing about and with people you really don't want throwing you one. Knowing it will be a "Mormon proper" shower. No real fun at all....

If you are uninterested, I would gracefully decline. You could say, "It's so kind of you to think of me, but please cancel the shower. My closest friends and family will help me to take care of my baby's needs."

Thanks but NO. And is it a boy? Did I miss something? I need to know important things like this!

Its a lil girl. A spoiled Princess Susan :)

Mail me!
ExMoLight@gmail.com

Also excited for you, Abigail! I was afraid I was misremembering the baby's sex. Happy, happy news.

done :)

I would have plenty of booze there.

I would have extremely risque games.


Hell, I'd love to crash this party!

THATS what my sister said too: I come over and crush it with my girlfriend and some good drinks for everyone but you! and the morgs.

Heh heh, you gotta admit you can't beat the good ole Mos for thoughtlessness. My dear they are SHOWING you that they forgive you for your adultery, and you are SUPPOSED to be grateful!!! It has been my experience that they don't usually excommunicate when you are pregnant. If you want out you will have to resign. THAT and a request that your VT don't call anymore may stop this madness!!

Years ago some twit of a GA said something in a conference about being discreet about single women expecting babies. Of course, right on cue one of the girls in the ward falls pregnant at 17, but chooses not to marry. So instead of welcoming the baby (girl) when it was born with a shower for the Mum, the ladies in the ward (discreetly of course) held a GRANDMOTHERS shower, giving all the cute little dresses etc for the baby, to the baby's grandmother, an active member of tscc. I was aghast and refused to go. Can you imagine how that poor new Mum felt? It was her who had been shamed by the Ward, her who had to get through the pregnancy and birth and the sleepless nights, but her MOTHER who took all the gifts. It was as if she didn't exist. Because of her 'unworthiness' she was ignored. Poor kid!! Needless to say she didn't stay in tscc.

Congratulations on your baby love!! I would certainly be politely but firmly saying you cannot make it. How dare they 'forgive' you for something you are ENTIRELY happy about. I hope all goes well, and if I were closer to you I would make your little one one of my special dolls (boy or girl is okay). Take care and please don't let all this stuff upset you too much. I send my love.

Thanks fluhist. You are too sweet. :)
I don't get easily upset - as long as no mormonscare involved I am a calm person.
My VT showed up - of course - uninvited. I told them that I don't want any visits. And no unwanted and unannounced visits.

However I truly see that there is actually no other way than to resign to rid them off.

No need to decline. I've yet to meet a Mormon who knew the meaning of RSVP. Let them all show up and figure it out.

And breedumyung -- drinking alcohol in front of a pregnant woman is just mean!

They don't "ex" for adultery, especially if your spouse is not a worthy Mormon priesthood holder...or is, even worse, a "non-member."

Boyfriend is a exMo too. Hevhas resigned a year ago.

Honestly, go for tactless and think "free stuff!". Whatever you don't want, sell online or give away. :)

They expect that you pay it back with your time, money and family. Always a bad deal.

Ahhh but that's what they want you to believe, a gift is a gift, there's no guilt involved unless you feel it. :) lol hell I'd go for it, of course it's your decision, so decide what's best for you and baby. :)

First of all, that was extremely rude of them. They aren't your friends, they didn't consult you on the date and they didn't invite your friends. However, technically, you aren't supposed to throw your own baby shower either. The custom is that one of your best friends offers to throw you a shower then asks you when you want to have it, who you want to invite, what kind of food you want etc. Then SHE sends out the invites, cleans her house, gets the food together so you don't have to. A shower should be thrown for you - you are the honored guest who shouldn't have to do the work because your friends and family are celebrating you doing ALL the work bringing this new little life into the world.

There is also a line of thought that your relatives shouldn't throw a shower for you either because it's like they are begging for gifts for their family but I think that's unrealistic and a tad uptight. If there is anyone in your social circle that bothers, I wouldn't bother to invite them. And I would just say "thank you but it doesn't interest me" to those ward weirdos. They are way out of line.