For those of you who've been on this site longer than I have, please give me your unscientific guess as to whether you believe the DH or DW in a TBM relationship is more likely to discover the morg's fraud first and leave.

Do the numbers show that one is more likely to be first than the other? If so, why do you think that would be?

My DW and I just gradually came to the same conclusion at right about the same time...a very rare occurrence, I think.

It seems men are more likely to bolt first. There are a lot of guys here trying to deal with wives who cling to the church.

My wife is still in the cult.

My wife is firmly entrenched in the church.

Although she is given a second class status, she is offered all sorts of eternal family-rewards for remaining second class.

Oh well, good news is that for 2015, no tithing is going to SLC from this family. Progress!

In my case, it was my wife who left first.

However, I've also heard that there are many FLDS men in Hildale and Colorado City who would leave the FLDS in a heartbeat if only their wives would agree to it. It's interesting that the women cling tighter in fundamentalist, mysoginistic religions and cultures.

I think the men do, but that's because on average they get exposed to a lot more of the hypocrisy and lies than women.

Men sit in Bishopric meetings and correlation meetings and you can see that the church isn't really driven by inspiration but more by desperation.

Inspired to fill a position of primary teacher for 6 year olds? No it's more desperate need to fill the position.

RMs see a lot more of the political side of Elders trying to get DLs and ZLs. And then when they get home they see that's it's the same 3 or 4 families that keep getting positions. They keep choosing their friends for counselors or wives for R.S. president, etc...

Also men tend to get into more arguments in Gospel Doctrine classes and Quorum meetings than women do over doctrinal statements. They will go hunting the answers of proofs to their side of the argument. I remember a whole quorum meeting spent on the other 12 worlds deep doctrine. Another time we spent 3 classroom times on "Gifts of the Spirit". check it out and you'll see how the arguments went: "I can be a revelator and prophet for my family!" "No, no, only the Prophet can do that." You know what I mean, a simple lesson becomes a huge dwelling on the mysteries. https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-22-the-gifts-of-the-spirit?lang=engThis

Also, this may be sexist, but I don't see women brown nosing each other for positions they can hold (R.S. presidency counselor?, Sunday School teacher of children?).

I don't mean to sound sexist with this, but it's my observation.
In the traditional mormon family, the wife stays home and relief society/vt is her social release. Usually the shunning starts if they leave. The husband works and has social interactions with coworkers/clients.