I first stumbled across this forum a couple years ago when I was trying to prove to some friends that what I told them was an actual mormon belief and not some crazy story I was making up. I don't remember exactly which crazy teaching; there are too many to choose from. I've been stopping by every couple months for a good smile or laugh.

I left the church and Utah in 2003, but recently moved back for a job. My parents still own the house I grew up in and it was empty so I moved in (mistake#1). I also never had my name removed (mistake #2) so immediately the EQ pres stops by to talk. I tell him I'm not interested in coming back or being involved in the ward. That apparently meant I wanted home teachers. They assigned two of my former scout leaders. For the past two months I've tried to be polite, but this past Thursday I sat down with them and flat out told them that I find it incredibly disrespectful that the church keeps sending people to my house knowing that I'm gay. If they want to say hateful things about people like me they shouldn't expect me to welcome them into my home. Then I asked them to leave. No prayers. No scriptures. No testimony.

This morning the bishop knocked on my door to invite me to church. I closed the door in his face. It's so ridiculous I can't even get mad. I'm just laughing.

Sorry for the harassment. Keep at it as you are doing.

They say resignation helps considerably.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. Is there any way that you can resign?

I would quit answering the door if you are not expecting anyone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/22/2015 01:02PM by summer.

This is another good place to annotate that cults have no sense of boundaries. There are times when only rudeness can get through to invasions of privacy.

True, but at least his home teachers had the decency to leave. I had an EQP come over, an Aspie engineer who repeatedly mocked my job. I told him I wanted him to leave, but he insisted on praying and did.

LOL!

No means "I want you to try harder!"

You gotta admit, they have the tenacity of roaches when it comes to invading your home.

You need "Mormon OFF," the spray repellant for Mormons who keep thinking if they try hard enough you'll come back.

In their minds, you are only one plate of brownies away from realizing the church is true!

That "OFF" repellent is called tea beer or coffee. I find they dont like to hang around when you have one of these in your hand.

Your story gets my blood boiling! I'm glad you're able to laugh it off. I do think their behavior perfectly fits one of the traits of a cult.

Oh brother. Those people are beyond ridiculous. I'm glad you can laugh at it, but it's so galling that they force people to be rude, when they wouldn't normally be rude.

Well, you know, they have numbers to make.

With the stories I have read on the forum, I feel grateful that I can laugh it off and feel nothing more than irritation. My brothers and I were raised in the church, but our family was never tbm. For example, my mother didn't allow us to go to joint activities after the leaders sent the young men out to do yard work for the elderly in the ward and the young women stayed at the church to make dinner.

I'm actually the last one in my immediate family to resign. The letter will be in the mail tomorrow.

Make sure that you send the letter to the Membership Records department in SLC so that they can provide oversight of the process. A copy to the ward bishop might get things rolling along more quickly. Remember -- you *don't* need to meet with the bishop in order for him to process the resignation. The locals already know who you are!

Dagny post ("In their minds, you are only one plate of brownies away from realizing the church is true", etc.) (Way funny.)

Tokki, your "I'm just laughing" shows a good sense of self, no need to let dumb stuff upset your healthy equilibrium.

IMO, the church tries hard to reinlist non-active's, as they feel an ownership/kinship right ("Because the church is true, you must still have a spark in you that we can re-light.")

I hope you find happiness in your old home.

Normal people don't behave like this. Drones sent out by the corporation are so predictable it is almost funny. Almost but not quite.

Too bad you had to move back to Stepford.

Tenacity they have by the bushels.

Hooray! for the resignation letter. I loved sending mine in. For me, it felt like I was letting them have it with both guns! (ha,ha) Sooooo liberating, after all of their obnoxious inability to keep away, to give them the news - "Hey, I am not a member. Been there, done that, and, I AM THROUGH. I recommend it. Why not give it a try?"

That is appalling they would treat you in that way. They are delusional to think this will make anyone feel like coming back to church. If only they would put themselves in your shoes, but that would involve actual empathy. I don't think Mormons are capable of empathy in any meaningful way.

Do you think greeting them with secret handshakes would discourage them? Or Summer's option of not even answering the door? Maybe video tape them saying you will put on youtube an example of how Mormons don't leave people alone after being told to stay away.

And don't think you are the one making any mistakes. You aren't responsible for the bad behavior of others. You are just living your life. No one should have to go through any hoops to have simple wishes respected.

Someone knocked really hard on the door in the garage. Of course, being Sunday, it made me nervous. I went through all the mormons that might think it is okay to do that.

I opened the door and it was one of our gay friends. He said, "Fooled you. Thought it was the fast offering boy, didn't you!!"

After our TBM daughter came home from church, he started playing hymns on the piano.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/22/2015 05:34PM by cl2.

Oh Tokki, what an amazing story! And you are SO right, why is it up to YOU to be polite when they are banning you from so many things and being downright insulting about you being gay? What on EARTH????? Don't they get that? Obviously not!! Keep up the good work, especially the sense of self that keeps you laughing at it all. I mean,,,,,,,,, at the end of the day what else can you do? It is all so RIDICULOUS!!!!

Tokki -- maybe print up some copies of the "sample resignation letter" and have them for any visitors from the ward.

Chat on the front porch, make an earnest offer to them to help them send in a letter if they ever get tired of being part of the corporation. Give them a sample letter, then graciously say you left something on the stove and have to get back to it.

Dialogue --

Knock knock.

you open the door. "Oh, hi again"

"Good afternoon, Brother Tokki. How are you today?"

"Pretty good, yourselves?"

[Blah blah.]

Cool. Hey, I'm kinda busy and can't talk long, but I did have something I wanted to mention to you. I know you've been coming by an earnestly inviting me to come over to the wardhouse for Sunday services. I appreciate you being friendly and inviting me to consider participation in church activities.

I just want you to know that if you're interested, I can make a comparable offer to you. Have you ever thought about maybe you want to get out of this church? Become a Methodist? Or just sit around and mow your lawn on Sunday and talk with your wife instead of going to correlation meetings? Maybe you're tired of the Bishop asking your sons pesky questions about topics that should be personal?

[Blank looks.]

Well, let me just say that if you ever have reason that you do want to move on from the LDS church I'm happy to listen to your issues and give you any help I can in resigning your membership and moving on. It's a serious offer.

Then, if the spirit prompts, give them a "Mormon No More" pamphlet, or a sample resignation letter, and say "gotta run, have some food on the stove" and duck back inside.

RG



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2015 04:00AM by reinventinggrace.

Guaranteed winner right there.

Perhaps a good response is to tell them they are welcome to come back when they have read the CES letter.

And have a couple copies handy to give to them along with a mormonthink pass-it-on card :)

http://cesletter.com/

http://www.mormonthink.com/glossary/mormonthink-pass-it-on-cards.htm

Look, if you're in Utah, you know, Utah's falling apart. LDS, Inc. is more overtly involved in the legislature than ever before. The "freedom of religion bill" trying to give people the right to shun others and force them to fit in by withholding goods and services is positively ridiculus. If you can't win at the Supreme Court, make all the ladies in your church refuse to make cake and floral bouquets. It's pathetic beyond belief. The internet is killing the system. Not only don't people feel good about shunning gays, news from other civil rights fights, freely available on the internet, makes people uncomfortable with any authoritarian, totalitarian tactics. Scowling Oaks is spitting into the wind.

Ward members want to come around. They want to talk. They tell themselves they're doing a job, bringing you back to church, they're righteousness meter pegs and they feel good about themselves, for one second. But what they really want is to talk. Be honest. They never get honesty. Tell them, "look, I'm not going to church for a reason. Do you want hear it?" They've got problems in this church too. They're depressed, lonely, bored, or sociopaths, and their wives are probably turning the screws. They're ignorant, disrespectful a-holes, for sure. But they're also pathetic and desperate. Help out your fellow man. Give them the only sincere communication they'll get all month.

Are there any cases of this happening OUTSIDE Utah/Southern Idaho?????

I refuse to believe each and every bishop is a dick.

idk... i've met a lot of dickwad bishops... and im from north idaho ;)
but not all of them have been like that, as far as ive seen...

You could also say "Since you keep coming back after I've asked you to leave me alone, I'm led to believe that you must be considering leaving yourself and want to know more about life on the outside and what it has to offer. I'll be happy to share with you and if you would like to schedule an appointment, I'll be happy to come by your house and tell you more". Then show up and just start teaching from the CES letter.

The Mormon church has in recent years reached out to gays. It teaches its members and leaders not to shun gays because they are gay. Perhaps these people are simply trying to do that.

They haven't changed their stance in the 31 years since I found out my boyfriend was gay, EXCEPT they say gays aren't damned for just saying they are gay. NOTHING else has changed. It is all a pretense.

"Supportive Families, Healthy Children: Helping Latter-day Saint Families with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Children."

http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/files/FAP%20LDS%20Booklet%20pst.pdf

".....911, please send help, there are strangers pounding on my door trying to break in and I'm afraid for my life, please send the police immediately....."