This made me think of how we need to defend our space, especially in the church...Men and women...to know what to say about behavior and how to say it.


http://www.hrtwarming.com/this-girl-did-this-after-the-boy-at-school-twanged-her-bra-what-followed-is-gold/#


(I’m an A & E nurse. We’re not allowed our phones on us: they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.)

Phone: “this is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

(I go to the school and am ushered into the head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)

Head: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in the A & E. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh, And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They got all jittery when I mentioned sexual assault and stared speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Head of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”

Headmaster: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept ping my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

( I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “you let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What? No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Head of Year]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Head: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boys’ mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.)

Me” “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you __” turning to the boy “___EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

(I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.)

It probably is not a true story and since it can't be verified we can't know.

What the take away from this is, how to look at something that can happen.


I remember at Ricks college when a playful boy surprised me from behind and poked me in the ribs.
I whirled around and punched him in the solar plexus with barely time to pull my punch.
I'd been assaulted by rib pokes frequently in high school and had developed a vicious backhand which had been turned into a frontal marshal arts punch.

It was an automatic response to being poked. I did not even know I had it in me. He was not offended and we were friends, he just learned maybe he needed to put juvenile behavior aside now that he was an adult getting ready to go on his mission.

What surprised me the most, was how the girls not the guys, but the girls, surrounding me in line condemned me for defending myself against an unexpected and unwelcome bodily contact!
I couldn't believe what ninnys they were! Was I supposed to let any guy touch me just because they wanted to???
Dumb girls! And they were the best that Mormonism had to offer. I didn't have the good sense to run from a cult that would teach an adult girl to "just take it" or "brush it off".

I like the model of assertion this story presented.

True or not, I think this is good allegory.

Why on earth was an Arts & Entertainment nurse administering stitches?

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why on earth was an Arts & Entertainment nurse
> administering stitches?

UK - A&E = Accident and Emergency.... what's the US equivalent? emergency room?

Mormon Observer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This made me think of how we need to defend our
> space, especially in the church...Men and
> women...to know what to say about behavior and how
> to say it.
>
>
> http://www.hrtwarming.com/this-girl-did-this-after
> -the-boy-at-school-twanged-her-bra-what-followed-i
> s-gold/#
>
>
> (I’m an A & E nurse. We’re not allowed our
> phones on us: they’re to be kept in our lockers.
> A call comes into hospital reception on a private
> line for me.)
>
> Phone: “this is from . There’s been an
> incident involving . We need you to come in.”
>
> Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my
> shift is over in two hours?”
>
> Phone: “ has struck another pupil. We’ve been
> trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is
> very serious.”
>
> (I go to the school and am ushered into the
> head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of
> year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with
> blood around his nose and a red face, and his
> parents.)
>
> Head: “Mrs. , how kind of you to FINALLY join
> us!”
>
> Me: “Yeah, things get busy in the A & E. I’ve
> spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches
> to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother
> with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the
> police regarding the matter. Sorry for the
> inconvenience.”
>
> (After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he
> tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my
> daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the
> face twice. I got the impression they were more
> angry with my daughter than the boy.)
>
> Me: “Oh, And you want to know if I’m going to
> press charges against him for sexually assaulting
> my daughter and against the school for allowing
> him to do it?”
>
> (They got all jittery when I mentioned sexual
> assault and stared speaking at once.)
>
> Teacher: “I don’t think it was that
> serious.”
>
> Head of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”
>
> Headmaster: “I think you’re missing the
> point.”
>
> (The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to
> my daughter to find out what happened.)
>
> Daughter: “He kept ping my bra. I asked him to
> stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. . He told me
> to ‘ignore it.’ did it again and undid my bra
> so I hit him. Then he stopped.”
>
> ( I turn to the teacher.)
>
> Me: “you let him do this? Why didn’t you stop
> him? Come over here and let me touch the front of
> your trousers.”
>
> Teacher: “What? No!”
>
> Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why
> don’t you go and pull on Mrs. ’s bra right
> now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s
> mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because
> they’re kids it’s fun?”
>
> Head: “Mrs. . With all due respect, still beat
> another child.”
>
> Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual
> attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s
> nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet
> and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and
> twice as heavy. How many times should she have let
> him touch her? If the person who was supposed to
> help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be
> bothered what should she have done? He pulled her
> bra so hard it came undone.”
>
> (The boys’ mum is still crying and his dad looks
> both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t
> make eye contact with me. I look at the
> headmaster.)
>
> Me” “I’m taking her home. I think the boy
> has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like
> this ever happens again, not only to , but to any
> other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him
> do it to a member of staff so what makes you think
> he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will
> be reporting this to the governors. And if you
> __” turning to the boy “___EVER touch my
> daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual
> assault. Do you understand me?”
>
> (I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things
> and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors,
> several of whom I know from Church (it’s a
> Catholic school), and was assured it would be
> strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED
> (government-run school monitoring) and they were
> equally as horrified and assured me they would
> contact the school. My daughter was put into a
> different class for that subject, away from the
> teacher and the boy.)


True or not...'Mum' did and said all the right things.

Bagheera Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mormon Observer Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----

> True or not...'Mum' did and said all the right
> things.

Well that's what happens in stories and novels

Harry Potter doesn't get tongue tied. James Bond doesnt get cowed by authority figures.
With the benefit of editing, people dont trip up over words and explode with an expletive when they get angry, giving away the moral highground.
there are no moral 'shades of grey' - there are only black hats and white hats, even if the people in the story dont know it, we - the readers - know how this is going to end, because the best stories have a happy ending we can cheer for


'Mum' did and said all the right things..... yeah, that's sorta the point

I especially like that she "turned the tables" and threatening to take legal action for sexual assault. That certainly got their attention and caused them to quickly change their demeanor.

One time when my daughter was in pre-school, the administrator complained to me that she and another girl had ripped up and destroyed all their Christmas decorations and wanted me to pay for replacements.

I asked when and where this happened. I was told that the girls hid in a closet and had a good time for about a half an hour. I said that I couldn't believe that two girls at the school were completely unsupervised for thirty minutes and was very concerned that the school was so lax with their legal requirements.

The conversation was quickly terminated by the administrator and I was never again asked to replace the decorations.

it reminds me of a Faith-Promoting Rumor. Like Snopes said, it's non-specific about location and people, and it reads like the dialogue from a well-crafted story.

Me. I was in the ninth grade and a boy slapped my butt as I walked by during class. I turned around and bashed him over the head with my binder. I didn't even think about it--it just happened. The teacher saw do this and called me out. I told her what happened and the boy got in trouble. I don't know what the moral of the story is--maybe don't put up with repeated assault?