When I was 14, I made friends with another girl in YW (she was 16). We were both really into art and she was a sweet, kind person. We'll call her Janine (not her real name). Janine was bright and talented, and she was like the big sister I never had. I was somewhat-faithful in the church, but had a very heavy shelf. She had a strong testimony and was following the "proper" Mormon girl path of getting good grades and getting ready to go to BYU after high school. Janine was dating a boy (we'll call Michael) who was in the ward and lived down the street from her their whole lives.

Soon after Michael's brother came home from his mission, Janine got quiet. She stopped dating altogether and grew more distant and easily upset. I, being a naive mia maid, wanted to know why my friend was so hurt. We were at her house one day when her parents were gone and she insisted I couldn't tell anyone. She told me Michael's brother--the 23 year old RM--had raped her. I, being extremely sheltered, didn't know what sex or rape was, but I could feel in my gut that it was serious. She was crying at this point, and said that nobody cared. She told the bishop and he told her not to tell her parents or to to the police. She wanted me to get rid of some of her clothes so her mom wouldn't notice. I promised that I'd still be her friend and threw the clothes away at my house. It was a shame in my young mind because it was a really nice-looking, modest outfit.

A few months went by, and her belly started to grow. I noticed the way people at church were cold towards her and none of the other young women would talk to her at all. I wasn't allowed to go to her house anymore because my mother thought she was a bad influence. A couple weeks after I was banned from talking to her, Janine disappeared and nobody talked about her. Her family still went to church and were very active, but there was no trace of her until she started replying to my emails.

She'd been sent away to live with her aunt a few states over until the baby was born. She couldn't take care of it, so she was trying to put it up for adoption. Some days she'd talk about being home-schooled or what movies were out. Other days she'd send long, frustrated lists of things people said to her. Things like how she was dirty and that she was a whore that slept around anyway. She would tell me how badly she didn't want to be pregnant, over and over again. Other times she would get excited, like when she found out it was a boy, and she was trying to find a good name for him. Eventually, she really didn't want to send him off to another family, but the paperwork was already done.

She fought to keep him, especially after finding out that if she got married he could be sealed to her and her husband. Janine figured that if it was her role as a woman to be a mother, she wanted to do that. She prayed and prayed and the answer she got was to keep the baby and be a mother. Apparently the bishop also prayed and the Lord gave him a different, more important answer. Years later, she's still in the church and married with two other kids. Her son is going to be 8 soon, and probably due for baptism, but we'll never know. To this day, nobody in the ward knows what really happened, but on the other hand nobody talks about it out in the open.

This is one of the really big items that finally broke my shelf.

What an absolutely TRAGIC story. I am SO sorry for your friend and for you, who really didn't know how to handle it, but did your VERY best.

I can TRULY understand why this broke your shelf. It would have broken mine too.

I hope one day this lady will see how disgustingly she was treated and leave tscc, but that is her decision. I AM glad that she got on with her life, and I hope she is happy in her marriage with her 2 children!

Wow. That is really sad. You did the best you knew how at the time so I hope you don't carry any guilt or anything. But wow, poor girl.

What a tragedy, I’m very sorry for your friend. I’m glad you got out.

Some observations …

“She told the bishop and he told her not to tell her parents or to the police.”

That’s so horrible; the jerk should have been charged … obviously the wrong advice.

“things people said to her. Things like how she was dirty and that she was a whore that slept around anyway.”

That too is awful. What terrible people. The truth should have been known. That’s why we have truth, so these situations don’t get misconstrued. Again, the Bishop’s handling of this was despicable.

“She prayed and prayed and the answer she got was to keep the baby and be a mother. Apparently the bishop also prayed and the Lord gave him a different, more important answer.”

Atrocious. I hope that Bishop gets some really heavy Karma for his pathetic actions.

Perfect story of why this organization is so harmful and damaging. Cult, cult, cult … CULT.

I hope your friend is able to find peace. None of this was her fault, and she wasn't given the support she should have found in the people she trusted. Another sad tale from Mo land. At least you left, so something good came of such a terrible event. Thanks for sharing.

This is just horrendous.

It's criminal. I absolutely hate how abuse can be multiplied by the sick mormon system (and others like it, since mormonism isn't the only system that would perpetrate this kind of abuse). I hope she is finding peace and healing, but I doubt it, if she continues affiliation with the so called church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2015 03:26PM by jefecito.

That story is so heart breaking.

If something like this happened to one of my daughters and the bishop tried to tell her not to report it. I'd go insane on the perp and the bishop.

I can't believe people are so far down the rabbit hole that they would give an answer like this.... it's just sick.

...and that monster RM is probably thriving, right?

Annie Onymous Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> She told the bishop and he told
> her not to tell her parents or to to the police.

The Bishop is thinking in terms of protecting the Church--the
good reputation of a "stellar" RM--the "all is well in Zion"
image of the ward. Part of being "church broke" is that the
leaders number-one allegiance is supposed to be to the Church
above all else.

I don't know what happened to the RM, StalkerDog. I think he went off to school and eventually his family moved out of the ward.

Though the bishop did get kicked out of his position finally. It had something to do with people reporting kids with bruises and signs of physical abuse and him telling people not to worry/refusing to report it. I don't know all the details because I moved out by the time it happened, but it made me really angry that it went so far. I'm from a family that had a sociopathic, abusive father that the church protected under the policy of "your family NEEDS to be together forever" and it caused a lot of emotional damage.

No amount of success in the church can make up for failure to nurture, protect and sustain your children. Janine's parents are pitiful.

Here's why I hate, right here.

Is there a statute of limitations on rape? If its been 8 years, I'm sure something could still be done about this.

Hence why many rapes cannot be prosecuted decades later when the survivor finally gathers the courage to speak up.

I want to rant about this situation, but I know better.

Once you accept the notion that THE SYSTEM is everything and the individual is nothing, no atrocity is off limits.

- - - - -

And I, too, hope that Janine has found resolution and peace. Let her eventual exit from the church be mainly about something else, not this, lingering for decades.

Compassion,

JAR

Just heard on the news maybe yesterday in Utah that they are changing the statute for sexual assault or abuse, don't know which one or both. that now it is 22 but since most don't even deal with it till later in life there is going to be either no limit or much older.

I dont'know much else than that, just thought I would put it out there, cause I would have fucking loved to take my abuser to jail, though he died before I could have.

This is the most heart-wrenching thing to hear. Still they are doing this when they know better? I would sue the bishop and church as well as getting this guy put in jail.

Her parents just as complicit whether they knew or not. sending her away forcing her to give up her baby.

Annie, these kind of stories break my heart.

I've mentioned my own story on this board before. The short version is that the a--hole that raped my sister is now serving as a bishop. Like Janine, it was also reported to the church and ignored/dismissed.

These things happen far too regularly in the LDS church. Telling TBMs often leads to invalidation for the victim and more abuse. This, above anything I've read about in church history or current corruption, is my sure sign that the church is a fraud.

I'm so sorry that this happened to your friend. I would encourage young women to promptly report all sexual assaults directly to the police. Mormon bishops should do the right thing and support the young women, but they often don't.

I having tears for your friend !

Has no one stopped to explain to these bishops and others who so freely issue mandates to others on how they must live their lives that RAPE IS A CRIME? Telling the victim of a violent crime against her person not to report her attacker to the police places said bishop and other authority figures who are aware of the crime in a place where they are now guilty of CONSPIRACY TO CONCEAL A CRIME.

Regarding conspiracy; "...The crime of conspiracy is complete once the conspirators formed the intent to commit a crime and take any step in preparation or mere preparation[vii]. If the goal of a conspiracy can be reached only through deception and concealment, silence which is designed to conceal may indicate an intention to conspire. - See more at: http://conspiracy.uslegal.com/elements-of-the-crime/intent/#sthash.4dWCIMad.dpuf

Depending on the state, they could also be considered an Accessory After The Fact. Definition from https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/accessory_after_the_fact

Someone who assists another 1) who has committed a felony, 2) after the person has committed the felony, 3) with knowledge that the person committed the felony, and 4) with the intent to help the person avoid arrest or punishment. An accessory after the fact may be held liable for, inter alia, obstruction of justice.

A bishop of the Mormon church knowingly instructing a child to destroy clothing which may have provided tangible evidence of forcible rape by a former Mormon missionary against an unwilling teen child in an effort to protect his church public scorn and embarrassment and shield his young priesthood holder from the consequences of the justice system surely passes the standard for conspiracy to conceal a crime. That bishop should be sitting in prison next to the rapist he protected from prosecution.

And when are these parents going to get it? They aren't here on earth to protect some gawd-damned money grubbing corporation. Their first mandate should ALWAYS be the health and safety of their precious kids. Oh, gee. I don't want my church to be embarrassed that someone attacked and impregnated my child. I had better obey my bishop and hide my kid in another state (with her so-called "auntie" which is really a Mormon financed facility that warehouses pregnant girls until the baby is born and they force, harrass, or badger the young mother until she signs legal documents relinquishing her parental rights) until the baby arrives, at which point we'll just give the little squeaker to the "church" to sell to another family and add to the millions of dollars they make every year on the Mormon sell-a-tot scam.

And some people have actually wondered why they have been recently changing their baby selling business model in an effort to reduce their legal exposure and potential personal liability in the many, many crimes they have committed in the name of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Please folks, if you know the facts behind some particular crime, please don't become part of the conspiracy by not reporting what you know to the police. It can be very hard to report a crime, but it is never harder than being the victim of one.

It won't end until the new grandparents take a stand and refuse to let it happen.