The transcript of the chat session I just had with Sister Missionaries:
5:11 PM
Them - Hello Abdul!
Them - How old are you?
Me - That's kind of personal. Let's just say that I'm over 18.
Them - Oh ok, but I just ask how you are doing
Me - 'How old are you' and 'How are you doing?' are two different questions.
Them - yes and I ask how you are doing, but that's ok, how can we help you?
Me - So I hear that Joseph Smith married and had sex with the wives of men he had sent on missions for your church while they were gone, Is that true??? I heard he also had children by those wives.
Them - That's not true!
Me - I also heard that he married and had sex with a 14-year-old girl. Is THAT true???
Them - no.
Me - Wait, how do you know it's not true?
Them - Because at that time they only married more than one wife, if this woman needed help for having a property. But, if you are interested in learning more about the basic belief of the Church, we will be please to send you missionaries to your home, so they can speak with you
Me - Actually, I should have said that 'I read - in a bunch of places - complete with footnotes and cross-references' that what I said is actually factual. I just REALLY want to know this.
Me - I can't see as how I can have missionaries over unless I get an answer to this.
Them - Well, the best way you can know is pray and ask God. I cannot do anything for you and God knows the truth of all thing.
Me - You mean the FACTS of all things? So TRUTH=FACT?
Them - But I hope you will have a wonderful day and that you will pray God and know for yourself that Joseph Smith was really a prophet of God and that he was an honest man.
Them - Have a wonderful day!
--end--
OK, I didn't have enough people to play 'Apples to Apples', so I decided to play this game instead.
Next stop - 'Should I pray to Allah, Buddha, or Krishna to find out if the Book of Mormon is true? - I mean, I really can't decide!'
'Bait the Missionaries!' - the new Family Home Evening Game for ex-Mormons!
Now available free of charge at your local exmormon.org headquarters. All rights reserved. Copyright 1830.
Missionaries drive me crazy. Having trouble with disturbing facts? Just pray the facts away!
I bet that if you asked them to go to lds.org and read the polygamy essay, they would say something stupid like they aren't allowed to go there, they don't read anti-Mormon literature, you misunderstood the essay when you read it, or we should not delve into the mysteries that are not pertinent to our salvation.