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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 12:55PM

I made bishop in my mid-20s and just kept climbing. I talked to a lot of people about this question, and thought a lot about how to stay the same person I was before and after making apostle.

Here's my answer: being an Apostle is better than not being one, but it's not nearly as good as you imagine it is.

The answer why is a bit more complicated.

First, one of the only real things being Apostle gives you is that you don't have to worry about money as much anymore. There will still be some expenses that you cannot afford to have the church pay for and you will wish you could, but most expenses can be made without thinking about what it costs. This is definitely better, without a doubt.

Being Apostle does come with some downsides, though. The first thing you are thinking reading that, is, "cry me a river". That is one of the downsides. You are not allowed to complain about anything, ever. Since most people imagine being Apostle as nirvana, you are no longer allowed to have any human needs or frustrations in the public eye. Yet, you are still a human being, but most people don't treat you like one.

There's the second downside. Most people now want something out of you, and it can be harder to figure out whether someone is being nice to you because they like you, or they are being nice to you because of your leadership status.

Then you have friends & family. Hopefully your relationship with them doesn't sour, but it can get harder. Both can get really weird about it and start to treat you differently. They might come and ask for a blessing (bad idea: if you give a blessing at it doesn’t do anything, you get the picture). One common problem is that they don't appreciate favors the way that they used to, and they can get unrealistic expectations for how much from the church they should be getting in the way of favors and contracts and be disappointed when you don't meet their unrealistic expectations. You have to start making decisions for your entire family on what is too much, and frankly, it's awkward.

Add all of these up and you can start to feel a certain sense of isolation.

You sometimes lay awake at night, wondering if you made the right decisions with your family, but at least you never worry whether it might all go away. You have a lifetime position. You know that feeling standing on a tall building, the feeling you might lose your mind and jump? You never get that anymore as an Apostle. Sometimes you're worried that you might lose your mind but you are literally surrounded by people who take care of everything for you.

The next thing you need to understand about being an Apostle is this: all of the things you picture doing, they are only worthwhile to you because you cannot do them (or have to work really hard to acquire the calling that would let you do them). Maybe you have your eye on that bullet-proof Audi -- once you can drive it, it just doesn't mean as much to you anymore because you have a driver.

Everything is relative, and you are more or less powerless to that. Yes, the first month you drive the Audi, or make what you think is a really, really important decision and you really enjoy it. But then you sort of get used to it. And then you are looking towards the next thing, the next level up. And the problem is that you have reset your expectations, and everything below that level doesn't get you quite as excited anymore.

This happens to everyone. Good people can maintain perspective, actively fight it, and stay grounded. Worse people complain about it and commit general acts of douchebaggery. But remember this: it would happen to you, too, even though you might not think so. You'll just have to trust me on this one.

Most people hold the illusion that if only they had the ultimate leadership in the church then their life would be better and they would be happier. Then they get Apostle, and that doesn't happen, and it can throw them into a serious life crisis.

Whether you're Apostle or not, make your life what you want it to be, and don't use church callings as an excuse. Go out there, get involved, be active, pursue your passion, and make a difference.

Spoofing this...because we all know becoming an apostle is better than winning the lottery.
http://www.quora.com/Is-getting-rich-worth-it

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:05PM

As an apostle of the lord jesus christ, I am grateful for all that I have. I would truly lay down my life for my ghawd and my fellow man.

My only complaint is the pain, the longing, after training myself never to look at women's breasts. But I know that in the celestial kingdom, I will have my just reward. Which is why I secretly call it "the celestittie-al Kingdom."

So when you see me on the stand at conference, gazing heavenward, with a half smile on my face, it's because I'm thinking of my final reward...

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:17PM

Any opposed signify...

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:26PM

I'd rather be jostled than apostled.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:28PM

You need to see your Stake President. ;)

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:39PM

As far as the upsides to being an apostle go, I have to side with the brethren. After I was set apart as an apostle, and special witness to Jesus, even the Christ, Elder Packer put his arm around me, hugged me tightly to his bosom, then released me. Still holding me, with his hands on my upper arms, he smiled at me for what seemed like minutes.

Then with moistened eyes he pulled me into a half embrace and kissed me on the cheek and then whispered in my ear, "Listen, Olddog, and never forget this, being an apostle is never having to say you're sorry!"

And it's true! "Oops!", "my bad", "Pardon me", "I apologize" and other such silly utterances are completely foreign to my vocabulary! It's so liberating!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:49PM

you had me at a Hug Packer...

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 01:54PM

I think he had a sacred scroll in his pocket... Must have had something to do with being in the temple.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 02:26PM

Mister Bagley of bag end fame is a true apostle of many an epistle of epistylist epigraphs.

I am but a simple golem.

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Posted by: moose ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 02:54PM


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Posted by: cricket ( )
Date: April 14, 2015 02:58PM

had not lived so damned long. Flip, he should have hied to Kolob a decade ago with his diabetes and Pepsi habit!

I would have have just gone emeritus status ten years ago if I'd known Tommy would circle the drain so slowly.

One the positive side of being an apostle, we twelve actually have very little to do with each other. We don't like each other in the first place and the corporate type apostles look down on old seminary teachers like me. We only act buddy buddy at conference when the cameras are on.

Being an apostle is a cake job because our support staff does all of our ghost writing, church management, missionary work, scheduling, responding to that endless nuisance mail from members about doctrine and temple sealing problems. They even feed me at my desk when I bother to show up to work.

The down side is that I can't fart out loud because there is always a security guard standing next to me.

Boyd K Packer - The most impo<r>tent apostle and a legend in my own mind, what's left of it.

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