I'm a few weeks away from marking the second anniversary of my departure from Mormonism. I didn't resign, mostly for family reasons, but I clearly stated to the local leadership that there was to be no contact with my family. So far they've honored my request with only one exception: A random evening visit from the mishies at almost exactly the one-year mark.

It wasn't much of a conversation. We were busy getting the kid to bed. I stood in the doorway and told them we had asked for no contact, and please make a note of it in their records. They said something about "there's a process, and it's name removal bla bla bla." I told them I'd think about it and let them know, but that they were still requested not to visit or contact us.

I was mad about how flustered I got. I wasn't friendly with them, but I was fairly restrained and didn't tell them off or anything. But I was mad about totally shutting down and not being able to say anything to them except something along the lines of "I told you to leave me alone, so please don't come back."

As the date approaches, I'm wondering if they'll come back again. I feel like I've recovered a bit more in the last year, but I still don't know if I could handle it any differently this time around.

I'm not sure how I WANT the meeting to go, if they show up. I feel sorry for the kids. I know exactly what it's like to be them. I was a good missionary for two years in a horrible place pushing religion on people who needed food and marketable skills far more than they needed the Mormon Mind-Screw. I was miserable almost the entire time and never could figure out why. Of course, now I know. So I guess I'd just like to be "recovered" enough to engage them meaningfully and compassionately and maybe plant a seed and let them know it's okay to just walk away and it's not their fault that being on a mission sucks.

Of course, it probably won't make any difference and it's probably a waste of time to engage them at all. But I'm kind of tired of them controlling the message, and if they come by my house uninvited then they deserve a piece of my mind, don't they? Why should their "beliefs" be immune to rational criticism? I'm tired of religion getting a free pass, in general, and the insidious and obvious lies of Mormonism in particular.

Mostly, I just don't want to have the involuntary cognitive shutdown I experienced the last time I saw them. I want to be ready and able to stand up for myself on my own turf this time.

Is it even worth the effort? Or should I just not waste any time on them and plan on calmly telling them to go away, like I would the JWs or any other cultist nutjobs that showed up on my doorstep? Any suggestions?

If the missionaries do come, you will likely get the 18 year olds, hopelessly indoctrinated, wet behind the ears, clueless, and mentally/emotionally underdeveloped. Talking to them would probably be frustrating and a waste of everyone's time.

But if, by chance, you did get even one missionary with a little bit of experience under his belt, a little doubt in his mind, and a willingness to take off his badge and talk off the record and talk "off script" it might be worth the effort.

Just take charge of the conversation by saying that you are caught in the middle. You can't leave the church without serious consequences in your family and you cannot stay without serious consequences to yourself esteem because you know Mormonism is a sham. You don't want to talk with them about this because they are not equipped with the knowledge, maturity, or experience to plod through anyone's adult, complex, personal or theological problems. They are simply expected to confront any discussion they know nothing about with a canned recitation of their testimony for the simple intention of getting you back to regular church attendance. That won't work in your situation. Nothing is that simple in life.

But....if they have the fortitude to take off their missionary mantle and enter your home as a genuine, caring human being with no other objective than to listen and respond with their own genuine thoughts and reflections, you would be happy to sit down with them and talk. There might even be a pizza at the end.

I think you would get blank stares. Almost all those kids are just programmed like robots. Everything is simply black and white. They are trying to get through the forced, mandatory missionary experience without going bonkers and without getting into trouble.

Best wishes. Hope you get one that's not hopelessly indoctrinated and mindless. It could be interesting.

I get upset and flustered too; every time they show up, it just reinforces to me that they do NOT respect me as a person. They keep coming and it feels like a slap in the face. No means NO.

It makes it all the more difficult, because I'm not actually mad at the individuals at my door. I don't even know them. I don't want to yell at *them*. I'm mad at their church for continuing to send them to my home in spite of my very clear objections. It feels like a bullying tactic. Like: "ha ha, you can say "no" all you want and we're going to ignore you and keep doing it anyway." It's become a power struggle. This has gone on for the 15 years we have lived at this address. And I have had it with them.

I have better things to do with my time than get upset and argue with uninvited strangers on my doorstep about religion. So I printed a copy of the CES letter and keep it by the door. There is pretty much something for everyone in that document, lol. When they come, I can just hand it to them and shut the door.

The first copy has already been handed out. The second copy is waiting by the door ready to go.