Posted by:
abinadi burns nli
(
)
Date: November 13, 2014 11:13AM
The letters, the links to news outlets, the posts, the drudging up old wounds, this is all very upsetting. Let me rant a moment please, lovely people on my favorite board. I just want to get this out before I have to go to work and be all emotionally put together for the rest of the day.
I cried after reading the poem Helen Mar Kimball wrote. Baura and Steve Benson recently posted in response to TSCC's too little to late confessional where they assert that the marriage was just for eternity and therefore somehow okay/not a crime. 14 year old girl. 37 year old man.
That is a deep betrayal of a child.
I am crying not because I was a child bride or that I in any way wish to compare my circumstances to hers, (but I suppose my empathy comes from a similar depth of betrayal if not kind). That particular aspect, betraying the trust of a child, is so horrible.
She thought she was saving her family. She was subject to powerful forces she had no chance of escaping. Her own parents betrayed her due to their ignorance as well as JS's crimes.
I think I may have felt an aspect of this same horrible power as I faced the men in suits who excommunicated me. I had already figured out the church was a racket, but my emotional ties to TSCC and to my family were strong and they ripped them to shreds. I should never have gone. I should never have even acknowledged their imaginary authority. I still live out this horrible scenario as I live in a world where men in authority withhold information or use their power to silence or disempower me. It is a trigger for these emotions. Corporate politics are not a game to me. It feels like a very physical survival mechanism kicks in to deal with situations like this, and one that is more than the situation demands.
I hope more people get to hear Helen's words. Let the silence surrounding her tragedy end. Let the oppression of women by the hands of TSCC end.