I was married 18+years to a boring TBM. Two kids. Got married way too young but loved the man with all my heart.

Someone put a statement I read yesterday about how Mormons don't marry a person, they marry a role. That definitely summed up my life.

I sowed my wild oats a little after the divorce. The first experience was awful. I had never been with anyone other than my husband and I felt guilty.

I then fell in love with a very conservative Christian man who then unceremoniously dumped me because he wanted to marry and raise a family with a younger, virginal woman. He was engaged and married in less than a year.

I sowed my wild oats again with a lover that ROCKED MY WORLD. He was a bit of an jerk at times and while were monogamous at the time, he was clearly not a long-term option.

I go thru a string of "meet and greets" that did not get past the first date. I dated someone for a few weeks that did a disappearing act.

Then I meet someone about four months ago that had his act together. We were both the kind of person to be open to dating others at the same time. He lavished all sorts of attention on me, and I loved it. We never got intimate. He made it clear he is now seeing someone else that is romantically developing into more....and I am sooooooooooo disappointed. I have had the best dates of my life with this person, and really had hoped it would become more. I am dating better quality people so there is a plus!

My esteem is pretty broken right now. As I take mental inventory, I realize that my Mormon experience really messed me up when it came to relationships. I have to constantly remind myself that being "nice" is not the same as "sincere interest". I am always on edge about wolves in sheep's clothing.

I am surrounded by positive, encouraging friends and I just can not seem to get out of the blues this week. I really hope that someday I can stop filtering my current dating life through my past PTSD filters of so-called Mormon love.

Not so recovered today,

RMM

wow, navigating the single-waters post-marriage would be a struggle for anybody.

Keep your head up and remember that you are in it for YOU. Find somebody YOU enjoy being with that brings out the best in YOU. Enjoy yourself.

Nothing role-based this time!

Wishing you all the best.....!

I have always felt that when you go "looking" for a certain type. The good catches and matches go by with out being noticed. Meetings and relationships usually happen by unexpected meetings or Funny flukes. it has for me. Best of luck,, keep us posted

unworthy Wrote:
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> ... Meetings and relationships usually happen by unexpected meetings or Funny flukes... Best of luck, keep us posted

*That seems about right*

Go about like you rule the world (at least your world - and I'm sure you do) and have (BE) a blast!

Make LIFE a date with fun
Best wishes!!

Sorry you're having a rough time. Have you considered taking a time out? Focus on things you like to do, or learn something new like the guitar, or a class... Be kind to yourself.

Widen your social circle and you will meet new people, and those people know people... If you are surrounded by couples, that could increase the loneliness factor. Are you in Utah? You might consider moving, if possible.

If you want to meet men, go where they are: golf, outdoor activities, music... Men are attracted to confidence and women who have their own life, interests (not clingy women, or doting-you wouldn't want a guy who likes that type anyway!)

Do some things that you find comforting and you will begin to feel better. Exercise will get the endorphins going for an instant mood lift... Good luck. Remember that you matter, and people do care.

Follow your heart; date as many various individuals as you can and like; TSCC supposedly gives the same council - however, mine is the opposite - I say do not date Mormons... well they say the opposite. They want more robots.

Hang in there. There are truly more fish in the sea, although regret's a b!tch. :(

Thanks for the boost folks. :)

I am definitely feeling better and processing that this most recent dating was a learning experience and in the end, I am better for it.

Wisdom, even if earned with difficulty, is valuable.

RMM